Positive Linking eZine: April 1, 2016

kay white enewsletter

Volume 130 | 1 April 2016  

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

Well, there’s what you plan and there’s what happens! When we had to have dear Bolly, our original Lurcher who’d been part of our lives for 13 years, put to sleep last year we decided 2 dogs rather than 3 would be our path for a while. Then we decided that we’d look for another rescue Lurcher. Then we decided it was too much. Enough said. Decisions and then changing your mind. You know how it can be I’m sure.

Last weekend we welcomed Jeffrey into our world. I found him on a local rescue website and yes, I know, you should be careful what you look for. He’s a Whippet Cross so he’s smaller and is such a cutie. Our other 2 have welcomed him into the pack and it’s all about his energy. He’s friendly and isn’t trying to dominate. He’s not pushy or too demanding and so they accept him.

I realise how many lessons there are in our recent developments with Jeffrey (who wasn’t called that when we found him but he just suits the name) and one of the biggest ones is not being too fixed in how things should be. By staying open to how you feel and paying attention to what presents itself we’ve gone with the flow of things. I used to be so much more ‘fixed’ on how things should be. It’s also part of the lesson to try things and if they don’t work out, be prepared to say so. We had a rescue Greyhound a few years ago and could only keep her for 2 weeks before we realised we couldn’t cope with her frantic hunting ways.

So, whether you like dogs or not %$firstname$% it is what it is. Going with instinct rather than ‘good sense’ and staying open to the ride and how it unfolds is truly what we’ve done. So far, so great!

Remember, always be true to yourself – no one else can be the unique, one-off, multi-faceted person you are! No one.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™

3-Day LIVE Event 2016


The doors for the 2016 Event are NOW OPEN and already our registrations are well into double figures.

Women from industries such as Banking, Insurance, IT, Asset Management, Hospitality, Accountancy, Law, Compliance are already joining us and – so can you!

There’s never been a better time to be a woman in business stepping up and going for what you want. To attract and leverage opportunities for promotion, recognition, rewards you need to take a stand for yourself and assert yourself – and you must do it in a way, which is true to yourself.

Take some time for yourself and press ‘Pause’ on your day-to-day ‘To Do’ list by joining us, live and in London, to consider, plan and position yourself for more purposeful – and accelerated career success at work.

If you want to:

  • earn more money

  • be offered more interesting and challenging opportunities in your organisation or industry

  • AND negotiate for yourself from a position of certainty, join me and let me show you where your own version of ‘sparkle’ can be found, then join me and all the experienced and insightful women you’ll meet at the Event.

Here’s where you can find out all the details of what’s on offer for you.

I only wish I could have gone to an Event like this when I was navigating the choppy waters of my own 20+ year corporate career.

As Katy Perry herself says “Baby you’re a firework, c’mon show ’em what you’re worth”

Or, in other words – Show Up; Sparkle and Be Heard LIVE.

Here’s a Snapshot of all that’s on offer for you!

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Slow Things Down and Save Time

Respond rather than react (and save precious time, money and energy)

Slow down to speed things up. Yes, I know – it’s a dichotomy (I had to look it up – a polar opposite, a contrariety) to say you have to slow down to speed things up. Well it’s true.

So often we think we have to decide on the spot; say “yes” or “no” in the moment and know all the answers to the questions we’re asked. Well, we’re actually making things harder for ourselves and harder on ourselves if we believe that to be true. Hitting things back like a tennis ball over the net isn’t a strategy – it’s more like survival and it wears you down.

I’ve learned we think faster than we think. It’s worth saying again to remind us both – we think faster than we think. Our brain processes the question; the decision; the issue in front of us quickly.

What we do is assume that we have to always be thinking on the spot and just because we’re asked a question we have to know the answer; respond straight away or act immediately. Well, we don’t. Even if we do know the answer, we don’t have to commit ourselves straight away. We can buy ourselves time and find subtle ways to make the other person wait – even if it’s for just a few seconds.

Clients say, particularly women, one of the big struggles they have when they’re promoted or as they take on more responsibility is the feeling of fear of having to know all the answers; of “making the right decision on the spot”. Well, “hello”- firstly who does know all the answers? Secondly, who knows what the right decision is? Only time tells us that. We make decisions taking into account what’s going on at the time; the information, insight and instinct we have and then, we wait to find out how it pans out.

It’s liberating – certainly it is for me – to know that you don’t have to know all the answers and you don’t have to do everything or decide everything “now” – even if it would suit others if you did.

People waste so much time, money and energy – our three most precious resources – by rushing into decisions; responding to emails in “shooting from the fingertip” mode; being asked questions and blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.kay white

Clearing up or back-tracking from rushed decisions or responses just slows us down.

Here’s just 3 of the many ways to slow things down to speed things up for yourself when you’re asked a question:

    1. Repeat the question. Say it back to the person in a way that sounds thoughtful (it is) so you and your brain can process it. It also has the added bonus of making sure the person asking the question is actually asking what they want. (This is a great tip for interviews by the way).

    2. Ask the person asking what they think first. You can literally say “hmm, now before I tell you what I think, what do you think?” This is especially powerful for someone working or reporting to you – why not make them do the thinking first?

    3. Ask another question. It sounds so elementary doesn’t it? Rather than answer what you’ve been asked; ask a few more questions about the background to the question to get clearer and, again, to buy you and your brain a few more seconds before – and if – you decide to answer. Pause.

    Now that’s something to think about, isn’t it?

    As a strategic, savvy businesswoman, give yourself a bit more time and space to plan your reply. You know more than you think you know and sometimes, a few extra seconds to think about it gives you the chance to really show it.

    I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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    Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

    Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
    “Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

    Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

    To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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    “No more hiding or holding back for me.”

    Lindsey attended my 3-day Live Event in 2015

    “By being here, by making myself vulnerable and sharing a little of my story with these wonderful women AND by learning how to have more courage, that’s it. No more hiding or holding back for me. I have some big changes to make at work and I’m committed now to making them happen.

    Give yourself the gift of the time to learn and grow in such a safe, welcoming and inspirational environment. I’ve come with a friend who has quietly been having an epiphany next to me at the Event. Women have been having ‘Aha’ moments all the way through because Kay holds a mirror up to you for you to see how your behaviours, beliefs and actions affect your results and what you can do to accelerate and change them….if you want to. I do – don’t you?”

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    L is for Lindsey and also for Lasting‬, ‪‎Lavish‬, ‪‎Legendary‬

    For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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    Eat That Frog!

    Eat that Frog This classic book by Brian Tracy is a true get-going inspirational read with 21 ways to get over and blast through procrastination.

    The idea being that if you had a selection of things on your plate and had to eat them all…and one of them was a frog, chances are that the frog is the last thing you’d want to eat. Brian recommends, eat it first.

    If you “Eat that Frog” and get the worst thing done first, you’re off and on your way to being more productive and inspired for the rest of your day. OK, I’ve got a frog to go off and eat. And you %$firstname$%?

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    Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite

    Note it down, even if you’re asleep!

    Ever woken up in the middle of the night with a flash of inspiration or a gasp of “Oh blast, I must do that tomorrow”? What happens is you then lie there fretting you’ll forget or working out how to remember – or maybe stumble your way to a pen and paper in the dark.

    NotepadInstead, try this. I do this a lot. Have a pad with a blank page open by your bedside. A reliable pen close to it and then – easy – when those moments of clarity come to you in the night, just reach out and jot them down.

    Doesn’t have to look pretty but, in the dark, I scribble down what came to me and then go back to sleep relaxed, knowing it’s there for when I wake up.

    Sometimes I don’t even remember waking up and writing it and have a ‘Wow, that’s good’ moment when I first see it. Try it! It’s simple and it works %$firstname$%.

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    About Kay

    As a Career Moves Mentor, Kay White works with experienced, ambitious career women from all around the world (and some very smart men) and shows them – with a combination of language and strategic moves – how to get noticed, promoted, valued and rewarded at work.

    Kay combines private one-on-one, VIP mentoring with group mentoring, live speaking and hosts her own annual 3-day Live Event “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE” in London. She also hosts her weekly Podcast Radio Show downloadable from her site or on iTunes.

    Using insights from her own +20 year corporate career, Kay shows her clients how to plan out their next moves in their business or career. She also shows women how ‘accessorise’ and enhance their day-to-day interactions along the way making them more comfortable, compelling and engaging. They boost their income, prospects and attract more lucrative opportunities.

    Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay is the Author of the international #1 bestseller ‘The A to Z of Being Understood’. She’s also Founder of Way Forward Solutions Ltd, a multiple 6-figure private coaching & mentoring company. With her straightforward and easy manner, Kay regularly features in magazines and publications. She’s a featured expert in GLAMOUR Magazine in “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Playing Hardball” and a regular guest blogger for We Are The City, a hub network and content site for professional women.

    During her 20-year corporate career, Kay worked in the City of London and in Paris to Director level as part of a successful, mainly male, fast-paced team of global insurance brokers. Negotiating multi-million pound, industrial property insurance contracts around the world, she learned (often by her own mistakes along the way) how to – and crucially how not to – get heard, valued and noticed, for the right reasons. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

    Kay and her husband live close to London with their sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee. A lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

    Find out much more at www.kaywhite.com.

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