Positive Linking eZine: April 13, 2018

kay white enewsletter

Volume 170 | 13 April 2018

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

Phew, it’s been a time of slowing things down in our home. With the Easter break giving so many opportunities to be out and about and do things, Snowy and I decided to take ourselves and the hounds off to the seaside and just hang out there on our own.

We’ve had a very social time recently and I was feeling the need for silence, stillness and peace. We had long beach walks and I used the time to write. It takes a lot of mental energy to absorb yourself in writing, well it does for me %$firstname$%. I can’t write for half an hour and then go out and then come back and write for another chunk. It’s much more productive for me to lock myself down to writing for two to three hours at a time. Snowy thinks it’s funny when he speaks to me and I can respond but my fingers are still typing!

I’ve started working with a fierce – and brilliant – Editor who challenges me, bosses me about and who’s already making me write in a more articulate, punchy way. It’s easy to think you can do everything by yourself when you get to a certain level of proficiency – I don’t. I know I need support and am very open to it and I invest in it too. Do you %$firstname$%? It ups your game every time you do if you’re open-minded and open enough to be a continuous learner. It’s about understanding what you want and need rather than what everyone else thinks.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Writing My Second Book – Title TBA

(Sample from a chapter below for you)

Accountability is something I value myself – someone keeping an eye on your progress, paying attention to how you’re developing things you want to make happen – and I have a few Accountability Buddies now I’m writing my second book. You are one of them %$firstname$%!

I started writing the book on holiday on 28th January at 6.30am. The plan is to finish it on 4th July (no coincidence it’s Independence Day) and officially launch it on 4th October.

I’ve already booked the Launch Party in London for the evening of Thursday 4th October and will invite clients, connections, friends, family to celebrate. Maybe that will include you?

Do you box yourself in and set a date for what you want to make happen %$firstname$%? I find it’s the most effective and inspiring (and kick-in-the-pants way) to keep me focussed and inspired. As I shared above, my beady-eyed Editor has reviewed the first 2 Chapters and now I’m now writing Chapter 4 of 8. Nearly half way there!

Like everything, you get out what you put in and I’m pouring my experience, client stories, strategies and inspirations into this book about continual, strategic career success for women. Stay tuned!

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Caring For Yourself, First

Being more self-ish is good for everyone

If, or how you care for yourself or indeed if you put yourself first is something so many women struggle with. Women, in general, expect to be towards the back of the queue when it comes to looking after ourselves. This is a false economy. In our eagerness to please and be ‘perfect’ we tend to put others’ needs and wants first, ensuring as far as we can that others are cared for and happy and then, if there’s a shred of energy or attention left, we look at what it is we want and need.

This attitude leads to exhaustion and also leads to unhappiness and frustration. To allow yourself to be important enough to go for what you need – exercise, nutrition, enough sleep, family time, time off, more interesting projects and promotion opportunities – all these and more, only become important and on the radar for others when you make them important.

To allow yourself to let go of being a version of some super-human woman who doesn’t want to cause a fuss or wants to avoid showing others what she needs is self-defeating and dangerous. Instead, be prepared to look at what you need and want to be effective, to discuss it rather than hint or moan about it to others, is to accept you’re fallibility and your own needs. It’s to be, as I say, more self-ish. Not selfish but to care a little less about everyone else and to care a little more about yourself.

When you’re on a plane and the crew runs through the safety procedures, one of the instructions is to ‘put your oxygen mask on first’. How can you help those around you if you’re starving of oxygen yourself? The irony is often that by forgetting to look after ourselves, we end up needing to be looked after by others. The last thing we were wanting.

So, try to be more clear about what it is you need to feel good, to be healthy and to allow your own precious life-force energy to be as important – no, more important – than others’. How can you do what you want to do and contribute like you know you can if you’re empty of energy and inspiration because you’ve poured it all away to others?

Stop. You serve no-one, least of all yourself.

“Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort.”~ Deborah Day

(Extracted from Kay White’s 2nd Book – Title, TBA)

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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“You can make your day-to-day communication more effective to help you feel more confident and strong.”

“Moving from the corporate world of Financial PR in London, to the not for profit sector in the South West of the UK has been a sea change for me.

Kay’s mentoring helped me get to grips with a totally different set of motivational drivers in the workplace, and build on my shared belief that reciprocation and communication are key to working life successes. The results continue to amaze me! She helped me land a senior role in an internationally active charity whose objectives I am an ardent supporter of.

Kay and what she shares is a constant source of inspiration and so are her insights into how you can make your day-to-day communication more effective to help you feel more confident and strong.”

Zoe N, IT Exec. International UK-Based Charity

Kay's Owl

Z is also for Zing, Zenith and, er, Zipperdeedooda!

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k

I really recommend Sarah Knight’s New York Times bestselling book to you. It’s a game-changer if you know you get too tangled up with what everyone else thinks about what you’re doing and not focussed enough yourself of what you really care about.

Using the book as part of our One-Day Event “Stop Going Overboard” which I hosted here in London last month, two women in our audience won a copy and both proudly read it on their underground journeys. Another client told her boss, without blinking, she was reading the book on her Mentor’s recommendation and he took a breath and then took a problem off her desk!

The title makes people sit up! The book helps you sort out what really matters and who – and then what or who is just representing noise.

Life-affirming . . . The key practice she advocates is devising for yourself a “f**k budget” . . . It’s a beautiful way of streamlining your psyche

(Lucy Mangan, Guardian Newspaper)

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite

Try Rolling Up Your Clothes!

As a regular business traveller and – when possible – a pleasure traveller too I always roll, rather than fold my clothes. It works on so many levels.

They take up less room so you can take more things with you, they unroll without fold or crease marks and it’s actually quicker and easier to prepare them for your case. Folding can be fiddly and time-consuming. Rolling is quick and easy. Two great words to recommend something.girl

Try rolling your clothes %$firstname$%, it really, really works hence it being your savvy style and sparkly soundbite for this Edition.

Roll on!

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About Kay

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ‘sell their soul’.

Running her own multiple 6-figure coaching & mentoring business for over 10 years, Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity while being true to themselves.

Kay’s clients learn how to present themselves most effectively at work and to combine strategic, planned career move-making steps with influencing skills. She also teaches compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets around, for example, money, ambition and worthiness. She draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the male-dominated world of London insurance broking. Kay started her career at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own coaching business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Comfortable on her feet, Kay regularly hosts Live Events (for 5 years, her annual 3-Day Live Event – Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE – has shown corporate career women how to attract promotion, recognition and rewards, all without selling their souls). Stay tuned for news about a suite of Day of Magic Experience Events for 2018.

Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com

Living close to London with rescue sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, much of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he knows he’s part of the pack.

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free-gift-bubblegift-bubble-darkWhere do I send your free 30-minute audio ‘Do You Have Trouble Saying No?’

to show you how to assert firm boundaries with confidence PLUS your POWER List—over 1,200 words and phrases to add influence to your language and quickly attract attention? ALSO receive more tips in my bi-monthly eZine and unsubscribe at any time.

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