Positive Linking eZine: April 29, 2016

kay white enewsletter

Volume 132 | 29 April 2016  

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

Aaachoo!! Yes, it’s that time of year when the trees are opening their leaves and so much expectation for Spring/Summer on the horizon. And, if you’re like me, a few sneezes and itchy eyes on the horizon too. Since I was 17 I’ve experienced the symptoms of hay fever and as dull as it is, I just get on with it. Dark glasses for a while, avoiding freshly-mown grass and avoiding rubbing my eyes – even though it feels as if it would feel good, to look like I’ve been crying for days is not the look I go for! I’m too vain to do that %$firstname$%.

In-between times, we went to a bit of a long lunch this weekend. A 6-hour lunch in fact. Our friends hosted a St George’s Day lunch and, of course, we had roast beef with all the trimmings. It’s interesting to find how time flies when you’re having such fun and yet, as we all know, 6 hours stuck in traffic or waiting for an appointment or something equally frustrating just drags. It’s all about your state. The state you’re in.

I’m always interested in how my ‘state’ changes depending what I’m up to and how I can control it. Do you notice how you shift in and out of states? Happy, interested, bored, frustrated, excited, nervous, angry, elated, surprised. They’re all states. I’m writing about it below in Your Top Takeaway because ‘being in a state’ is something we’re often worried about. Yet, we’re ‘in a state’ all the time – it just depends on which one.

As I prepare and plan for my 3-Day Live Event in June (in just over 6 weeks’ time) I notice my state constantly changing. It’s mainly excitement though, as I know how much changes at the Event for those there!

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™

3-Day LIVE Event 2016

>>>>We’re 50% full already. Are you meant to be with us?

This is a unique opportunity for corporate women, just like you, to work out how to attract more income AND opportunities to lead with your value – without having to sell your soul.

Women from industries such as Banking, Insurance, IT, Asset Management, Hospitality, Accountancy, Law, Compliance are already joining us and – so can you!

There’s never been a better time to be a woman in business stepping up and going for what you want. To attract and leverage opportunities for promotion, recognition, rewards you need to take a stand for yourself and assert yourself – and you must do it in a way, which is true to yourself.

Take some time for yourself and press ‘Pause’ on your day-to-day ‘To Do’ list by joining us, live and in London, to consider, plan and position yourself for more purposeful – and accelerated – career success at work. On your terms.

If you want to:

  • earn more money

  • be offered more interesting and challenging opportunities in your organisation or industry

  • AND negotiate for yourself from a position of certainty, join me and let me show you where your own version of ‘sparkle’ can be found, then join me and all the experienced and insightful women you’ll meet at the Event.

>>> Bonus Seat Price: If you use the code: GLITTERBALL at checkout, you can take 50% off the seat price for a limited time.

Here’s where you can find out all the details of what’s on offer for you. Remember the code: GLITTERBALL.

I only wish I could have gone to an Event like this when I was navigating the choppy waters of my own 20+ year corporate career.

Or, in other words – Show Up; Sparkle and Be Heard LIVE.

Here’s a Snapshot of all that’s on offer for you!

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What State Are You In?

Understand how emotions shift in us all day long and how to best navigate them

It was the start of a meeting with a potential new client. As we sat discussing what was going on with his team, and why some of the key people were avoiding communicating with each other, let’s call him John, said something along the lines of ‘well, we’ve brought you in because it’s probably all about the touchy, feely stuff and Kay, I don’t do that’.

‘You don’t do that?’ I said, risking, I suppose, being shown the door, ‘You don’t do that? Everyone does that John, everyone does that all the time, it’s what it’s all about.’ How’s that for direct? How’s that for an opinion? It’s mine and I know it to my core. Two choices – as ever – take it or leave it but it’s true.

When someone explained to me once that our emotions can be defined as ‘energy-in-motion’ it took on new meaning, one that really makes sense and, to all those ‘oh, I avoid the touchy-feely stuff’ out there, think about emotion like this – it’s ‘energy-in-motion’. Your energy, at any given moment, can change to another energy and you behave differently. Something else happens and, depending how you decide to react to it, (notice I said ‘how you decide’) then your emotional state changes again. It can be like being on a roller coaster.

As you go through your day, start noticing your own emotions and, crucially too, others’ (they’re on display, you just have to notice them). As you become more and more aware that emotion is driving everything, and everyone, you’ll be able to understand so much more about other people’s emotional states – and so much more about your own.

Here’s a typical scenario that plays out every day, everywhere for someone, somewhere – us included. I’ve put the ‘state’ in italics.

Rushing to a meeting to avoid being late (excitement, fear) you arrive just as the meeting’s starting (anxiety, embarrassment). As you grab a coffee and your seat (relief, anticipation) you’re asked a question (surprise and fear again). Someone else chimes in to help you (relief and surprise) and you also gather your thoughts and add your opinion (relief and anticipation). The meeting carries on and you notice yourself relaxing (contentment and trust) and you’re asked to be involved in a new project (surprise and joy). You know it’ll be hard work with a lot riding on it and you say ‘yes, great’ (anticipation, fear, joy) and you all agree to meet again in two weeks to update everyone (anticipation, trust, anxiety). Off you go to your desk and pick up the phone to tell your partner about this opportunity (excitement and surprise mixed with anxiety).

Can you ‘feel’ just from reading the above, how much energy-in-motion is going on for you, just in that meeting?

We are constantly shifting and changing gear with our emotions and the more we understand about how that affects us, and those around us, the more we can start to take notice of where we are in our emotional journey.

Ideas for you to start working with today:

  • Notice – really notice – how you’re feeling. Try to tell yourself which emotion you’re feeling as you go through your day. Does this emotion serve you best for what’s going on?

  • Knowing now how we ‘drive’ our own emotions, moment by moment, start to drive your own more. Decide, ‘am I going to allow this situation to make me feel angry?’ or ‘if I were only to feel happy about this, what would I have to think about instead?’

  • Notice how others reacting/responding to things and – crucially here – notice how they make you feel (or how you allow them to make you feel). Towards the end of your day today, run through which emotions came up for you and what was happening when they did? As you navigate the choppy waters of corporate working life, remember that everyone’s in an ‘emotional state’ all the time and it’s worth considering your own as you approach people. They have to control their own states – whether they know it or even try but you can always choose how you respond. Always remember that. I do.

Let’s not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realising it.
~ Vincent Van Gogh

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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Daniella Rubinovitz, Unleash A Vision, The Netherlands 

“There’s nothing like this experience this side of the Atlantic.”thumbnail-

Kay attracts amazing women from all over the world and while I knew it would be a great Event, the amazing details Kay shares and shows you about who you are and how valuable you are just blew me away. I’ve learned what was holding me back and how to truly break through that and grow my business.

The whole power of communication – I never realised how crucial it is. Kay – and her amazing speakers – breaks it all down for you to get to the core of who you really are as you express yourself.”

Kay's Owl

D is for Daniella – and also for Driven, Dynamic, Developer

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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Do you work with Emotional Intelligence?

If you want to explore more about emotional states at work then look no further!

I read this book ‘Working with Emotional Intelligence’ by Daniel Goleman years ago when I first started my business in 2006. It’s one I recommend to you if you want to understand more about how your colleagues are behaving at work. It’s also great to understand more about how you yourself are behaving at work and why.

As I say and know to be true, you can’t control how people treat you but you can control how you respond.

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite

Shine Bright Like A Diamond

Well, as someone who loves gems and bling in most forms, this is something I must share with you. If you can find a little pot of this Exquisite Jewel Sparkle Dip do invest in it. It brings up your gold and stones to a clear, clean sparkle without any harm.

If you can’t find this then try just washing up liquid in a glass. Leave your jewels in there for about an hour and be amazed at the difference. What’s the point in having something valuable and shiny and not allowing it to be it’s best?

A bit like yourself %$firstname$%. Are you shiny and bright as you go about your business? If you know you could be much more so – join me in June at Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE.

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About Kay

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ’sell their soul.

Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity all while being true to themselves. Combining strategic moves with influencing skills plus compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets, Kay draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the very male-dominated world of London insurance broking. She started at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Hosting an annual 3-day Live Event for corporate women “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE” Kay encourages and shows women how to be the best, most valuable version of themselves so they’re ready to be paid what their worth and go for what they want with certainty. Crucially too, how to have more ease and more fun as you plan your way forward.

Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com

Living close to London with sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside. Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he’s part of the pack!

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