Positive Linking eZine: April 7, 2017

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Volume 150 |  7 April 2017 

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

We recently celebrated the anniversary of welcoming Jeffrey Hound, our youngest, smallest Lurcher into our lives. We’ve had rescue hounds in our lives since 2002 and there’s a leap of faith you take when you go to the rescue centre and choose who will come home with you.

It’s a hard thing to do when SO many furry faces want you to choose them and it’s not for the faint-hearted.

We took a chance on Jeffrey (he was found wandering the local fields undernourished and then started to ‘self-harm’ in the kennels with stress – chewing his knees and toes until they bled) and it’s been quite a ride.

Jeffrey has tested us from the word go %$firstname$%.

He was needy (cried at night a lot), he was destructive (ripped up Snowy’s car magazines and a muzzle which we ordered to stop him ripping things up…) and he used to throw up in the car all the time (cars were, for him, the work of evil pixies). And yet, he’s been and still is such a blessing. He’s added his spark of energy, tenacity and general ‘Yay, let’s do this’ spirit to our pack. He’s put on 3.5K in weight, loves to sit on your lap and to realise it’s a year since we found him – or he found us – is amazing.

This may sound a little quirky or self-indulgent to share details about our rescue hound with you but stay with me a moment, there’s a point to it.

Jeffrey’s taught me SO many lessons in how he’s adjusted and what he’s done to make that easier. A little like we need to adjust and reorientate ourselves when we change roles, organisations, relationships. Some of the lessons I’ve learned are below for you to consider too. They say A Learning Machine is an Earning Machine. There’s always a lesson to learn…

Remember %$firstname$%, always be true to yourself – no one else can be the unique, one-off, multi-faceted person you are! No one.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™

3-Day LIVE Event 2017

Shall I keep you posted?

If you know you need to step up and accelerate your success at work AND allow yourself to be seen, valued and heard – do be there in 2017. Here’s the date and it will be in London again. Join me LIVE and learn with and from other ambitious, experienced women like you.

AND it may be the FINAL event like this which I host.

If you’ve been thinking about coming ‘some time’ well, this year in June might be your last chance….

>> 5, 6, 7 October 2017.

Here’s where you can let me know you want to be kept in the loop AND receive extra resources in advance.

Oh and below, here’s a quick video showing a little of what happened in March this year and what you’ve got in store in 2016. Take a few moments to see what comes up for ambitious women like you and what happens when you put yourself into an intentional space like this.

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Adjust Yourself To Where You Find Yourself

The new ‘normal’ is always shifting

Here are 3 key lessons I’ve learned from adopting Jeffrey Hound, our newest rescue sighthound. The lessons cross over into our lives and, I believe, especially when you’re starting a new role or a job inside a new organisation. You become a learner and you notice – or you should – everything!

What do I mean by that? Well, let me show you how Jeffrey has taught me lessons which I know will help you at work as you step up and go for new, more senior, opportunities:

Work out who’s who in the zoo

You don’t have to overdo it but quickly work out who is an influencer, who’s going to keep an eye on you, who’s someone you want to be wary of and work out why. Just like hounds, we’re reading body language and personal energy all the time. It takes about 3 – 6 months to become ‘embedded’ and really see who’s who but whilst you’re doing that, you’re like a sponge. Soaking it all up and people give you the benefit of the doubt as you’re a newbie. It’s worth allowing that to be known and enjoy the time of getting-to-know-you.

Jeffrey’s lesson was knowing that one of our hounds is super-friendly and the other not at all at first. He soon worked out who to hang out with and who to steer clear of until they’d built trust. As for me, I was Pack Leader on day 1. In my world anyway…

Dive in and be respectful of the order of things

OK so you’re getting to know everyone and the way things are done but be prepared to roll your sleeves up and not tiptoe around. As you put yourself forward to be involved or be part of things it’s natural to be enthusiastic and, at the same time, watch how people are responding to you. Do you represent a threat in any way? Are you a little too like ‘Tigger’ for example? As you know, most people are wary of change and you represent change. Tread lightly. Be respectful as others adjust to you.

Jeffrey’s lesson was to assume he could sleep, pee, eat, shred anywhere and everything. He was quickly invited to consider things differently and has got used to how we do things. He watched everything and I still see him watching to work out if it’s a threat or an opportunity.

Be prepared to trip over but keep moving

So you misjudge something or you don’t catch on as quickly as you hoped. Make amends, apologise if you feel you need to and then, dust off and keep going. You are becoming part of the new normal faster than you think but as it feels weird or you wonder how to do things and don’t want to keep asking, prepare to trip up but allow that to be OK. The learning curve is steep at first but it starts to ease off as you become more familiar and embedded. Health warning. Avoid being complacent. Keep stretching yourself and learning, it keeps you nimble and gives you agility if and when you want to move again.

Jeffrey’s lesson has been bouncing up to other dogs assuming everyone’s a friend – they’re not. His speed has saved him from a nipped behind a few times. He’s more wary now. He’s also learned that shredding his Master’s favourite car magazine and theatre tickets doesn’t go down well. Now we have a post-catcher Snowy’s car mag is left well alone now.

The final point in this brief but pertinent note to you is to have fun. To allow yourself to enjoy the ride of learning, fitting in, finding out what’s what and questioning things. When you’re new you’re able to look with fresh eyes and bring your own take on things with you. Not all on Day 1 but gradually. It’s truly enlivening to put yourself in the position of a learner or a newbie.

Who knows what adventures you’ll have, who you’ll meet along the way AND just how much of a difference you’ll be able to make? Time will tell you that %$firstname$%.

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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H is for Helena, Financial Services Laywer, London.

I learned why you MUST bring yourself to your work

“I love the fact the Event focus is on communication in a number of forms; not just the spoken, but the impression one gives as a whole. I took so much away from this event. What Kay shared with her strategies and stories gave me loads more confidence to put my point across in meetings, say ‘Yes’ before I was ready, understand my worth and I’ve even given 3 client presentations (something I really used to struggle with or avoid completely).Helena

The fact that Kay encourages women to be women and not to deny our “sparkly” side is also a major bonus – I learned why you MUST bring yourself to your work and how to stand strong in who and how you are. Recently I had the best appraisal I could have hoped for.

I’m still in contact with a lot of the women who attended last year and we’ve all seen massive changes and developments in our lives thanks to what we learnt.

Too many events take on the ‘grey corporate image’ but it’s so refreshing – and vital – to have the opportunity to attend a much more “colourful” event which is no less professional for it. The amazing combination of learning about personal power, strategy and sparkle from Kay and her speakers is a unique and winning formula for your career.”

Since writing this to me, Helena’s been approached and accepted 2 new roles. One soon after the Event she attended in 2013 and one very recently. It’s always your next move!

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H is for Healthy, Headway, High-Flyer

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day.

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Vanessa VallelyImagine being in a huge room with hundreds of other business women and whatever question you needed to ask about the City someone in that room was able to tell you where to go to get the answer. Imagine you then took those answers and put them in a central place where all Women could benefit, well that is exactly what we are trying to achieve with WeAreTheCity.We Are the City

Vanessa Vallely, founder of WeAreThe City shares her intention with creating her hub networking and resources site. It’s packed full with resources and opportunities and I’m always dipping in and out (and I contribute with my Show Up & Sparkle Blog spot).

WeAreTheCity are hosting an Event on 12th May and I’m honoured to be on a panel talking about The Imposter Syndrome. What it is, how it manifests itself AND what to do about it. All the details are here.

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite

Make a Note!

Ever woken up in the middle of the night with a flash of inspiration or a gasp of “Oh blast, I must do that tomorrow”? What happens is you then lie there fretting you’ll forget or working out how to remember – or maybe stumble your way to a pen and paper in the dark.Notepad

Instead, try this. I do this a lot. Have a pad with a blank page open by your bedside. A reliable pen close to it and then – easy – when those moments of clarity come to you in the night, just reach out and jot them down.

Doesn’t have to look pretty but, in the dark, I scribble down what came to me and then go back to sleep relaxed, knowing it’s there for when I wake up. Sometimes I don’t even remember waking up and writing it and have a ‘Wow, that’s good!’ moment when I first see it. Try it! It’s simple and it works %$firstname$%.

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About Kay

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ‘sell their soul’.

Running her own multiple 6-figure coaching & mentoring business for over 10 years, Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity while being true to themselves.

Kay’s clients learn how to present themselves most effectively at work and to combine strategic, planned career move-making steps with influencing skills. She also teaches compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets around, for example, money, ambition and worthiness. She draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the male-dominated world of London insurance broking. Kay started her career at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own coaching business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Hosting an annual 3-day Live Event for corporate career women “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE” Kay encourages and shows women how to be the best, most valuable version of themselves so they’re ready to be paid what their worth and go for what they want with certainty. Crucially too, how to have more ease and more fun as you plan your way forward.

Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com

Living close to London with sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, lots of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside. Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he’s part of the pack.

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