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Positive Linking eZine: August 11, 2017
Volume 156 | 11 August 2017
Hello there %$firstname$%,
I love this time of year when it’s Summer and most people are on holiday. It’s quieter on the roads and trains, parking spaces are in abundance and there’s time to catch up with people who are also around when it’s not so busy.
My niece Grace came to stay for a couple of days – oh the life of a student! She got up at 11.45am one day and announced she was hungry. No kidding after 12 hours sleep. It was very precious to hang out with her and we watched the new Wonder Woman movie, cooked together, walked the hounds with my goddaughter Bea and chatted. You have to make the most of those opportunities don’t you %$firstname$%?
Another treat was having dinner with a friend of mine for nearly 30 years. Neil. He and I worked together back in my corporate days and have had so many laughs and adventures over the years. Again, enjoying these moments and being really present to how special they are is so important. It’s easy to put things off or let things slide isn’t it? But is it? I realise as I have a little more grey hair and laughter lines how important slowing things down and keeping in touch with people, more than maybe I had before, is so important. Life feels very fast-forward at times and being able to slow down, turn off the gizmos and just hang out with your special friends, it energises you and reboots you!
Who do you know you want to be in touch with again %$firstname$%? Maybe drop them a note or give them a call, I put money on them being thrilled to hear from you and who knows what fun you’ll have as you catch up together. Notice what you notice about how they make you feel. Often, it’s grounded in who you really are.
Remember %$firstname$%, always be true to yourself – no one else can be the unique, one-off, multi-faceted person you are! No one.
Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.
Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,
Let’s connect even more
PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.
Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™
3-Day LIVE Event 2017
Registration is OPEN NOW for my FINAL 3-Day Live Event
If you know you need to step up and accelerate your success at work AND allow yourself to be seen, valued and heard – do be there in October. Here’s the date and it will be in London again. Join me LIVE and learn with and from other ambitious, experienced women like you.
AND it will be the FINAL Event in this formation I host for the foreseeable, maybe forever…
If you’ve been thinking about coming ‘one of these days’ well, this year in OCTOBER will be your last chance….
AND we already have nearly 50% of our seats with a SOLD sign on them and that’s with 8 weeks to go.
Use the code: 100SPECIALCODE and take £100 off the Seat Price whilst we have them.
AND if you Register before close on 16th August you’ll also receive a private invitation to a call I’m hosting about identifying and leveraging your transferrable skills. Understanding these enables you to switch roles/organisations/industries with more confidence and ease.
Slow Things Down and Save Time
Respond rather than react (and save precious time, money and energy)
Slow down to speed things up. Yes, I know – it’s a dichotomy (a polar opposite, a contrariety) to say you have to slow down to speed things up. Well it’s true.
So often we think we have to decide on the spot; say “yes” or “no” in the moment and know all the answers to the questions we’re asked. Well, we’re actually making things harder for ourselves and harder on ourselves if we believe that to be true. Hitting things back like a tennis ball over the net isn’t a strategy – it’s more like survival and it wears you down.
I’ve learned we think faster than we think. It’s worth saying again to remind us both – we think faster than we think. Our brain processes the question; the decision; the issue in front of us quickly.
What we do is assume that we have to always be thinking on the spot and just because we’re asked a question we have to know the answer; respond straight away or act immediately. Well, we don’t. Even if we do know the answer, we don’t have to commit ourselves straight away. We can buy ourselves time and find subtle ways to make the other person wait – even if it’s for just a few seconds.
Clients say, particularly women, one of the big struggles they have when they’re promoted or as they take on more responsibility is the feeling of fear of having to know all the answers; of “making the right decision on the spot”. Well, “hello”- firstly who does know all the answers? Secondly, who knows what the right decision is? Only time tells us that. We make decisions taking into account what’s going on at the time; the information, insight and instinct we have and then, we wait to find out how it pans out.
It’s liberating – certainly it is for me – to know that you don’t have to know all the answers and you don’t have to do everything or decide everything “now” – even if it would suit others if you did.
People waste so much time, money and energy – our three most precious resources – by rushing into decisions; responding to emails in “shooting from the fingertip” mode; being asked questions and blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.
Clearing up or back-tracking from rushed decisions or responses just slows us down.
Here’s just 3 of the many ways to slow things down to speed things up for yourself when you’re asked a question:
Repeat the question. Say it back to the person in a way that sounds thoughtful (it is) so you and your brain can process it. It also has the added bonus of making sure the person asking the question is actually asking what they want. (This is a great tip for interviews by the way).
Ask the person asking what they think first. You can literally say “hmm, now before I tell you what I think, what do you think?” This is especially powerful for someone working or reporting to you – why not make them do the thinking first?
Ask another question. It sounds so elementary doesn’t it? Rather than answer what you’ve been asked; ask a few more questions about the background to the question to get clearer and, again, to buy you and your brain a few more seconds before – and if – you decide to answer. Pause.
Now that’s something to think about, isn’t it?
As a strategic, savvy businesswoman, give yourself a bit more time and space to plan your reply. You know more than you think you know and sometimes, a few extra seconds to think about it gives you the chance to really show it.
Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?
Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it: “Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.
Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”
To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.
“This is a great Event if you want to move your career forward.”
“I came last year and went away and made some significant moves. I’m here again to learn more from Kay and to share my stories. No question is a silly one and everyone is encouraged to share because as Kay says “you teach as you share” and I’ve learned how that’s true. My husband was a little anxious about what the Event would ‘do’ to me but he sees how my confidence has grown and how the belief I have in myself isn’t temporary. It’s mine to build on now and I just didn’t have that before.
Come and join in if you know you’re ready to really believe in the value and experience you already have.”
— ALISON D., L&D, LAW FIRM UK
Ais for Alison AND Assertive, Ask, Allow
For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day.
Short, snappy soundbites on the GO!
Stay Tuned – iTuned
100 snappy podcasts full of savvy communication sound bites and strategies to help you navigate the waters at work.
With downloads from Taiwan, Australia, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Spain, Romania, India, Germany, New Zealand, France, USA, Canada AND the UK to name just some of the territories, it’s fair to say we’ve “gone global” here at Sparkle Central!
Brilliant snippets of advice and hints and tips on how to progress in both your professional and personal life all wrapped up in short and easy to listen to podcasts. Anyone who knows Kay or has heard her speak will recognise her clear and practical insight into how to be successful with confidence, ease and a lot of sparkle. I listen to these on my way to work and they set me up for the day. Highly recommended.
Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite
Note It; Retain It; Write It.
Ever woken up in the middle of the night with a flash of inspiration or a gasp of “Oh blast, I must do that tomorrow”? What happens is you then lie there fretting you’ll forget or working out how to remember – or maybe stumble your way to a pen and paper in the dark.
Instead, try this. I do this a lot. Have a pad with a blank page open by your bedside. A reliable pen close to it and then – easy – when those moments of clarity come to you in the night, just reach out and jot them down.
Doesn’t have to look pretty but, in the dark, I scribble down what came to me and then go back to sleep relaxed, knowing it’s there for when I wake up.
Sometimes I don’t even remember waking up and writing it and have a ‘Wow, that’s good’ moment when I first see it. Try it! It’s simple and it works %$firstname$%.
Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ‘sell their soul’.
Running her own multiple 6-figure coaching & mentoring business for over 10 years, Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity while being true to themselves.
Kay’s clients learn how to present themselves most effectively at work and to combine strategic, planned career move-making steps with influencing skills. She also teaches compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets around, for example, money, ambition and worthiness. She draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the male-dominated world of London insurance broking. Kay started her career at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own coaching business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.
Hosting an annual 3-day Live Event for corporate career women “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE” Kay encourages and shows women how to be the best, most valuable version of themselves so they’re ready to be paid what their worth and go for what they want with certainty. Crucially too, how to have more ease and more fun as you plan your way forward.
Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com
Living close to London with rescue sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, much of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside. Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he knows he’s part of the pack.