Positive Linking eZine: August 14, 2015

kay white enewsletter

Volume 115 | 14 August 2015  

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

This last couple of weeks has felt slower wouldn’t you say? It’s that time when so many families are off on their Summer holidays and the roads, trains and shops all feel quieter. This time of the year is a great time to throw myself at a project as clients are away and my mentoring groups press ‘Pause’ for a couple of weeks. Last year the project was creating my new website and this year it’s time to go into a recording studio and record the audio book for my book The A to Z of Being Understood.

It’s been quite a ride and much more energetically taxing than I thought it would be. When we read inside our heads it’s quick and without the energy needed to add tone, expression, breaths and correct any mispronunciations. I had to bail out on the first day after 9 letters when my goal was 13. Enough was enough!

Dave, the long-haired rock & roll recording engineer has been my pilot and we’ve been in the studios for 3 days. With posters of Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain about the place I felt far more rock & roll myself. I’ve even had my first go on the drums.

The audio files will go off to the States to be mixed with music and then uploaded to Audible and other outlets so my audio book will be available for you in mid-October. It’s like so many things %$firstname$% – there’s what you plan and then there’s what happens and they’re rarely the same. Reading through my own book, which I wrote in 6 months in 2011, has been quite emotional. So much has changed and yet – much to my relief – the principles I wrote about, from A to Z remain the same. If I take the rock & roll reference I could say “The Song Remains The Same” and thank Led Zeppelin.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warmly to you %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™ LIVE Event –

Shall I keep you posted?

If you know you need to be there in 2016, here’s the date and it will be in London again.

9, 10, 11 June 2016.

Here’s where you can let me know you want to be kept in the loop AND receive extra resources in advance.

Oh and below, here’s a quick video showing a little of what happened in March and what you’ve got in store in 2016. Take a few moments to see what comes up for ambitious women like you and what happens when you put yourself into an intentional space like this.

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Recording an Audio Book – it’s About Time!

After years of being asked “When are you going to turn your book into an audio book Kay?” I now am!

The interesting thing about making the decision to do this %$firstname$% is that when enough people tell you the same thing, pay attention. They see something for you which often you’ve not seen, yet.

You’ll be able to access all the information, from A to Z, in your car, on the running machine and – if you’re like me – when you’re walking the dog!

As soon as it’s available I’ll make sure you have early access to the downloadable audio book, with a special Introductory Offer. And 3, 2, 1 ‘Action’.

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Do you ride your emotions?

Or are you at their mercy?

It was the start of a meeting with a potential new client. We sat discussing what was going on with his team and why some of the key people were avoiding communicating with each other. Let’s call him John, he said something along the lines of ‘well, we’ve brought you in Kay because it’s probably all about the touchy, feely stuff and I don’t do that’.

‘You don’t do that?’ I said, risking, I suppose, being shown the door, ‘You don’t do that? Everyone does that John, everyone does that all the time, it’s what it’s all about.’

When someone explained to me once how emotion can be defined as ‘energy-in-motion’ it took on new meaning, one that really makes sense and, to all those ‘oh, I avoid the touchy-feely stuff’ out there, think about emotion like this – it’s ‘energy-in-motion’. Your energy, at any given moment, can change to another energy and you behave differently. Something else happens and, depending how you decide to react to it – notice I said ‘how you decide’ – then your emotion changes again.

As you go through your day, start noticing your own emotions and, crucially too, others’ (they’re on display, you just have to notice them). As you become more and more aware that emotion is driving everything, and everyone, you’ll be able to understand so much more about other people and so much more about yourself.

Here’s a typical scenario that plays out every day, everywhere for someone, somewhere with the emotion in brackets.

Rushing to a meeting to avoid being late (excitement, fear) you arrive just as the meeting’s starting (anxiety, embarrassment). As you grab a coffee and your seat (relief, anticipation) you’re asked a question (surprise and fear again). Someone else chimes in to help you (relief and surprise) and you also gather your thoughts and add your opinion (relief and anticipation). The meeting carries on and you notice yourself relaxing (contentment and trust) and you’re asked to be involved in a new project (surprise and joy). You know it’ll be hard work with a lot riding on it and you say ‘yes, great’ (anticipation, fear, joy) and you all agree to meet again in two weeks to update everyone (anticipation, trust, anxiety). Off you go to your desk and pick up the phone to tell your partner about this opportunity (excitement and surprise mixed with anxiety).

Can you ‘feel’ just from reading the above, how much energy-in-motion is going on for you, just in that meeting?

We are constantly shifting and changing gear with our emotions and the more we understand about how they affect us, and those around us, the more we can start to take notice of where we are in our emotional journey.

We’re all in an emotional state, all of the time. The trick is to notice which emotional state we’re in – relaxed, excited, angry, frustrated, sad, happy – and to know that we are moving in and out of these states all the time. We must then decide and find which state is the most helpful, appropriate and resourceful for us to be in, given what’s going on around us. We do have a choice though and when we accept that we can no longer say “Oh, he makes me so angry”. He doesn’t. You decide to be.

Extracted from ‘E is for Emotion’ from The A to Z of Being Understood by Kay White.

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, we’re always interested to hear from you. Please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right)

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E is for Erin Ferree of BrandStyleDesign, California 

“I worked with Kay recently after a frustrating day in a small meeting where I couldn’t seem to get a word in edgewise. It was the final straw. I knew I had great ideas to contribute, and felt bottled up and ignored, disconnected and like my thoughts weren’t valuable. By the end of the day, I was cranky!

Kay helped me understand how to jump in to a conversation and how to frame my thoughts so they would be noticed and valued. She showed me how to add little hooks to my ideas that would help them stand out above the buzz and ‘noise’ in a room, all without being pushy.

I got to try out what I learned at a big networking event this weekend, and Kay’s mentoring made all of the difference. I usually feel a little lost in a big room and this time was different. I felt listened to, powerful, plugged in and like I got to make better connections with the people I was talking to. It was fantastic.”

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E is for Erin and is also for Energetic, Elevated, Erudite

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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People / Places / Products

Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard Podcast

Each week you can pick up tips, steps, strategies and mindsets from my snappy podcast “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard”.

They’re designed to give you instant ideas, tips and you can listen on the move, on the train or – as one of my clients does – when swimming! They’re downloaded by women from the UK to Australia, from Vietnam to Venezuela.

If I can give you something which will help you straight away, wherever you are, an insight or a tip or two on something you’re struggling with at work, just drop a note here to support@kaywhite.com. I’ll look at crafting a podcast for you to help in the coming weeks.

Here’s a recent one about How & Why To Just Let Go. Sometimes, just like a holiday, letting go makes you so much more effective.

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Inside Out – the new film from Pixar

Snowy & I went to see Inside Out last week and I recommend it to you both for the fun factor and, significantly, for the understanding it gives you about our emotions.

Memories, behaviour, responses, personality all derive from our emotions and our memories. There are also a few really funny scenes with the different emotional responses men, women, teenage girls, teenage boys, young children, cats and dogs have.

Have a quick look here. There’s definitely a lesson in there about riding our emotions and understanding them rather than letting them ride us.

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In One Second!

Always one for a new product or something someone recommends which really works, I recommend to you the ‘One Second’ nail polish remover from Bourjois. I rarely do my own nail polish as I hate the mess but sometimes I want to or need to because of time. This came recommended from Stylist magazine and you just dip your nail in, twist and it removes your polish. Instantly.

As you know, you’re communicating all the time whether you speak or not and having smartly polished and shaped fingernails says a lot about how you care about yourself. Especially if you’re meeting clients and attending meetings.

Anything which makes it quick and efficient to contribute to your personal polish, well that’s always a winner. I know women who have a pot of this at home, in their gym bag and in the office. Nail it!

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About Kay

About Kay White

Kay White works with experienced business women from all around the world (and some very smart men) and shows them – with a combination of language and strategic moves – how to own, position and speak of their value so their income, opportunities and confidence naturally increases. Kay combines private one-on-one, VIP mentoring with group mentoring, speaking and hosts her annual 3-day Live Event ’Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE”. She also hosts her weekly podcast radio show downloadable from her site or on iTunes.

Using insights from her own +20 year corporate career, Kay shows her clients how to plan out their next moves in their business or career. She also shows women how ‘accessorise’ and enhance their day-to-day interactions along the way making them more comfortable, compelling and engaging. They boost their income, prospects and attract more lucrative opportunities as a result as Kay shows her clients how to add true, personal sparkle. Both to themselves and to what they say.

Working with Kay, her clients discover how to be confident, assertive, attract and keep attention and then ask for and get what they want. It’s a learnable skill to ask for what you want, to persuade, influence and get other people engaged and into action – both in writing and face-to-face. Kay’s developed step-by-step systems for her clients to learn, follow and use the steps every day and everywhere.

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay is the Author of the international #1 bestseller ‘The A to Z of Being Understood’ and Founder of Way Forward Solutions Ltd, a multiple 6-figure private company. Kay annually hosts a 3-day Live Event in London for professional women: Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE. With her straightforward and easy manner, Kay regularly features in magazines and publications. She’s a featured expert in GLAMOUR Magazine in “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Playing Hardball” and a regular guest blogger for We Are The City, a hub network and content site for professional women.

During her 20-year corporate career, Kay worked in the City of London and in Paris to Director level as part of a successful, mainly male, fast-paced team of global insurance brokers. Negotiating multi-million pound, industrial property insurance contracts around the world, she learned (often by her own mistakes along the way) how to – and crucially how not to – get heard, valued and noticed, for the right reasons. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Kay and her husband live close to London with their 3 rescue sighthounds. A lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Find out much more at www.kaywhite.com.

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