Positive Linking eZine: August 5, 2016

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Volume 137 |  5 August 2016  

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

Have you ever given someone a DOG Day? A Day of Gratitude Day?

Last weekend I planned a few surprises for Snowy to acknowledge all that he did, handled and sorted out when I was knocked off balance with Labrynthitis recently.

Not only did he try to carry on my Event by attempting to pick up where I had to leave off, saying (in his words) “This shit you do on stage is harder than it looks” – he also cooked, shopped, coordinated, hound-walked at 5am and has been a generally brilliant, patient bloke.

So, for our DOG Day together Snowy just went with the flow. He had no idea what we were up to!

We went to The National Gallery where we looked at paintings he’d studied at school. We went to lunch at The Ivy, a gem of a restaurant which was a lovely grazing post. Then on to a matinee performance of The Book of Mormon which was playing to a packed house – irreverent as it is, there were so many gasps and laugh out aloud moments. We then went to dinner on a River Boat Cruise from Westminster to Docklands and back again. Each component was a surprise to him.

What was interesting %$firstname$% was that it was the element of surprise he loved as much as the actual components. It’s so easy to just say “well, we’ll do this, that, the other” and the fizz of surprise has gone. Allowing things to unfold and staying open to how the day evolved (London was packed with cyclists with most central roads closed and the weather was dry – none of which I had any control over) rather than being too fixed in how it was. I’ve learned so much about being open and being less of the controller after being so ill. More on that below.

Suffice to say, if you’re tempted to arrange a DOG Day for someone close to you, I really encourage you – do. We’ve decided we’re going to arrange a few LOL Days now. Loving Our London. Rather than being a tourist in other countries and their cities, we’re going to be regular tourists in our own.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Brand New Complimentary Teleclass

Wiser (and Smarter) After The Event

5 Key Life Lessons to Turn Your Life’s Lemons – into Lemonade

On Thursday 18th August at 8pm UK I’m hosting a brand new, complimentary Teleclass.

Wiser after the Event is about allowing yourself to find the lessons in what happens to you and where to look for them.

  • How to make the tough stuff into part of your story and free yourself

  • How to elevate yourself and be really present to what’s happening so you can help others too

  • How you can help others too as you call them to help you

  • What to say to yourself, over and over, to give you the strength and presence of mind to keep going

  • How to maximise the opportunities which present themselves when the ‘stuff’ hits the fan

Barbara de Angelis says “Difficult times always create opportunities for you to experience more love in your life”. I’ve found it truly has been and still is.

Let me share with you LIVE and in person AND Open The Lines to hear from women who were there and – of course – YOU. I’d love that.

Here’s where to Register.

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The Power of the C Word

Choose your words wisely.

Your words have power over you and what you think about – and the same applies to those who hear you – if they listen to you of course.

When you’re asked to be present at something, if you can make a date or if you have time to do something I wonder if you use the C word I want to recommend to you? Stay with me here.

One of my clients taught me – and herself – this valuable lesson. She was always referring to having ‘conflicts’ in her diary. The word conflicts implies a struggle, a clash, some thing to manage.

As she took a sharp breath in she said “I’m referring to picking my precious children up from School as a conflict. What’s that about Kay? It’s not a conflict, it’s a commitment.”

A commitment. Now there’s a difference.

This C word – commitment – has a whole different energy about it. Something’s fixed. It’s a promise. It’s happening and it’s important to you. What’s interesting %$firstname$% is how other people treat your commitments too. They’re less inclined to expect you to bend them or replace them.

–     “Thanks for including me but I have a conflict then. Sorry.”

–     “Thanks for including me. I already have a commitment at that time so when else works?” for example.

Notice the difference? The ‘conflict’ word can invite you to apologise or feel guilty that you have some thing else in your diary.

A commitment doesn’t. You may still want to or be asked to reschedule. I get that and yet, you’ll probably find less people expect it of you and you’ll feel less inclined to offer it %$firstname$%.

It’s all about perception and the words you choose to use often say more about you than the order you put them in.

  • Do you have problems or challenges?

  • What about failures or maybe they’re lessons?

  • Do or try to do?

As that great philosopher Yoda said “Do or do not do. There is no try.”

Now that’s a commitment.

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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A is for Ali Wharmby, Oxfordshire County Council, UK

Ali Wharmby“I’d been thinking for some time about moving to a more senior and strategic role within local Government. I was as unsure about whether I wanted a more senior role as well as whether, honestly, I thought I could do it.

I worked privately with Kay and through her insightful and strategic questioning, I realised exactly what was holding me back and why. Once we discussed how I’d position my skills and experience and handle the interview process, it all became clear. I went for the role and although I was not successful on that occasion, it meant I’d come forward and people knew I was up for a new role. This led to another (and better) opportunity and I’ve just started. I’m thrilled.

Kay’s so skilled at what she does helping you realise you are too; and then shows you how to own the value of it with your words.”

—Ali Wharmby, Service Manager, Oxfordshire County Council, UK

Ps – Ali attended my Live Event: Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard in June 2013. Soon after she resigned from this new role and decided it was time to take a real chance on herself and she started up her own business. Now she really owns the value of what she does.

Kay's Owl

A is also for Assured, Articulate, Action-taker

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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Keep An Open, Enquiring Mind

That’s truly what I recommend.

How else can you find out where the opportunities are, how people really tick, what’s really going on behind what you see – or think you understand.

For a ‘snap judger’ as I was – and still can be if I’m not paying attention – this is a BIG lesson for me too. What about you, %$firstname$%?

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite 

Roll your clothes when you pack!

As a regular business traveller and – when possible – a pleasure traveller too I always roll, rather than fold my clothes. It works on so many levels.Girl

They take up less room so you can take more thing with you, they unroll without fold marks and it’s actually quicker and easier to prepare them for your case. Folding can be fiddly and time-consuming. Rolling is quick and easy. Two great words to recommend something.

Try rolling your clothes %$firstname$%, it really, really works hence it being your savvy style and sparkly soundbite for this Edition. Roll on!

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About Kay

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ‘sell their soul’.

Running her own multiple 6-figure coaching & mentoring business for over 10 years, Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity while being true to themselves.

Kay’s clients learn how to present themselves most effectively at work and to combine strategic, planned career move-making steps with influencing skills. She also teaches compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets around, for example, money, ambition and worthiness. She draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the male-dominated world of London insurance broking. Kay started her career at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own coaching business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Hosting an annual 3-day Live Event for corporate career women “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE” Kay encourages and shows women how to be the best, most valuable version of themselves so they’re ready to be paid what their worth and go for what they want with certainty. Crucially too, how to have more ease and more fun as you plan your way forward.

Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com

Living close to London with sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, lots of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside. Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he’s part of the pack.

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