Where do I send your free 30-minute audio ‘Do You Have Trouble Saying No?’
to show you how to assert firm boundaries with confidence PLUS your POWER List—over 1,200 words and phrases to add influence to your language and quickly attract attention? ALSO receive more tips in my bi-monthly eZine and unsubscribe at any time.
Positive Linking eZine: December 1, 2017
Volume 163 | 1 December 2017
Hello there %$firstname$%,
You know sometimes how you just ‘need to get away’? Well, I know that feeling and so do many of my clients. One of the private VIP mentoring groups I lead ‘Retreated’ together last week and wow, what an experience. A change of scenery is one thing and a break from the routine is part of it and – there’s what comes up when you focus on yourself and others like you. With one of our members flying in from the US, we came together in a boutique hotel in the countryside and I laid out a buffet of style, strategy, sparkle, community, sharing and true, purposeful introspection. How often do you indulge in and enjoy that for yourself %$firstname$% in corporate life? I’m pretty sure the answer is ‘rarely Kay’.
As well as planning out moves, next steps, angles for promotion and increased visibility and recognition at work, we went and had their colours analysed and others had their style and image boosted. We laughed at the fact that one minute we were focusing on their career paths and next savvy steps they’ll be taking and then, later the same day, we were in our underwear together trying on clothes and bling and looking, well, fabulous!
Here we are just before having a private meal together where the conversation flowed way past my planned bedtime! It was magical on so many levels.
Snowy joined us for lunch on the Saturday and said “it was like being with already powerful women who’ve really come on fire” – it was %$firstname$%. They have, now they’ve really got how personally powerful and valuable they truly are. What about you? Do you understand where you add the most value at work? See below for a little guidance.
Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.
Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,
Let’s connect even more
PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.
YOUR 2017 Year End Review & 2018 Planning Guide
Give yourself the gift of YOUR OWN Year-End Review.
It would be easy to just keep going and dive in to 2018 without taking the lessons, messages and developments from your 2017 with you.
I’ve created 2 special 2018 Career-Accelerating tools for you.
1. YOUR 2017 Year-End Review & 2018 Planning Guide. Carefully-crafted questions for you to capture your evolution and developments from 2017. Combine these with a way to plan for what you want in 2018. All together in one nifty, yours-to-keep document.
This is you giving yourself your own Year End Review – not your company’s, nor your boss’s. Yours %$firstname$%.
2. PLUS – in January 2018, let me show you how to Ask for what you want. Take the goals and clarity you’ve achieved from the Planning Guide and put them into action by learning strategic ways to Ask. Not wait, hint and hope. Ask and expect to receive. Register for both these 2018 career-accelerating tools below.
It’s like your own personalised, intentional GPS. How do you know where you’re going if you don’t review and understand where you are AND where you’ve been. Let’s do this together. I do this every single year….
Do you really show them what you’re made of?
Remember to know AND show your brilliance so others can reward you for it.
If you’ve ever heard yourself say any of the following, it gives us a sign you’ve forgotten some of the things that you’re really good at or you’ve forgotten some of the key pieces of your career and life journey.
If you ever think these things and then you don’t speak, you’ll know you’re undervaluing yourself or being undervalued or underselling yourself.
“I want to be taken more seriously”
“I’m often treated like a secretary rather than a director”
“I end up undercutting myself – I give people a price for my services or the salary I want and then I undercut myself and backtrack or apologise”
Are you able to hear one or more things you’ve either said or thought in there? I can promise you I’ve heard these phrases so many times in different formats, in different ways and places. I know just like I’m sure you do, that it’s because that person saying those things doesn’t own or express the value, the importance, the difference that their work makes. So, by definition, other people don’t appreciate it, feel how they value it or how valuable it is. How they think about it is SO key. It also tells me that they don’t recognise it for themselves. And by definition, they don’t recognise or ‘market’ their worth. Aha.
Now, in general, we don’t like to think about marketing ourselves but, let’s be honest – you do need to be offering yourself and putting yourself forward in the workplace. Showing people what you’re about. So, try this.
If you want to think about it in a marketing sense, think about a four-bedroom house an estate agent is selling and one of the bedrooms is being used as a study. If you’re going to try sell the house, you have to turn that study-style bedroom into a bedroom again because people will look at your house and value it as a three-bedroom house with a study rather than what it is that you’re truly offering which is a four-bedroom house.
They kind of know it on one level, but one of the bedrooms is a study and they’re not seeing it as a four-bedroom house. They have to see it. And an estate agent said to me, “Never underestimate how people need to be shown that fourth bedroom rather than have to imagine it or be told about it.”
It’s the same with you and me.
Never underestimate or assume people get how special and valuable what you do really is. They have to see it or experience it or have it shown to them. Clearly. Don’t assume they can see it for you. They rarely can.
Show them what you’re made of. Consider the impact of your work. Not your ‘To Do’ list.
Consider the impact of your work. Not your ‘To Do’ list.
What does what you do then go on to do?
How does it affect others and what they’re able to do? << that’s where your value is to be found…
You owe it to yourself. Why wouldn’t you maximise the opportunities which are so close sometimes you don’t see them? If you help others see your value, they help guide you towards the opportunities too.
My ex-colleague James saw my gifts more clearly than I did and guided me on to the path to where I am now. He asked if I’d heard of coaching back in 2005 when it was virtually unheard of here in the UK. He said I’d always been approachable, smart-thinking, curious and able to connect with people quickly. He guided me to take that first step to what I’m doing now. Pay attention to what people see for you and how they value what you naturally do. It’s often pure gold!
Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?
Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it: “Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.
Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”
To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.
J is a team-leader in a UK-based corporate and we started working together as her Director was concerned at how J was expressing herself in both meetings and in emails and the negative effects it was having on her team. She was described as “muddled and unsure”.
“Kay’s style is really informative and participative and within the first half an hour together she started to highlight to me some of the ways I was expressing myself which was really holding me back. Instead of making me feel in the wrong or uncomfortable, she immediately put me at my ease. I knew I needed to speak more slowly and with more volume to make people sit up and listen AND it gave me more time to think by doing this.
Together we worked on ways I could handle situations and difficult people differently and she really highlighted the power of my language and how it can be used for effect. I’m now much more aware of how I speak and what I write and how to structure what I say so it has more effect. I’m much more confident now and I think and plan what I’m going to say. My team has noticed the difference in me and how I’m more convincing and confident.”
Jis for Jovial, Joyful, JollyGood
For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day.
Eat That Frog!
This classic book by Brian Tracy is a true get-going inspirational read with 21 ways to get over and blast through procrastination. As we had for 2018 it’s a great way to give yourself another prod in the back to ‘get on with things’.
The idea being that if you had a selection of things on your plate and had to eat them all…and one of them was a frog, chances are that the frog is the last thing you’d want to eat. Brian recommends, eat it first.
If you “Eat that Frog” and get the worst thing done first, you’re off and on your way to being more productive and inspired for the rest of your day. OK, I’ve got a frog to go off and eat. And you %$firstname$%?
Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite
37 Seconds to ‘Perfection’ – Yeah, Right
As we head to Christmas Party Land and wondering what to wear or ‘does my bum look big in this?’ and all that – do you ever look at magazines or TV adverts and think to yourself “Oh my, I’ll never look like that…my X is too Y, my Y is too Z, I’m too X etc etc” or “Oh, I’d love to look like that”?
I know I used to. Not anymore though. Recently, more and more, women are being tweaked and ‘photoshopped’ in advertising to the extent their images aren’t just tidied up, they’re almost unreal. And I mean, unreal. Are we supposed to all want to look like Barbie? What about younger women – the pressure to look ‘perfect’ is immense.
Realising you rarely see an un-enhanced photograph of a celebrity or model, look at the photos knowing they’re just not real instead of thinking that you’re not X enough. The SuperModel Cindy Crawford famously once said “I wish I looked like Cindy Crawford”. Enough Said.
Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ‘sell their soul’.
Running her own multiple 6-figure coaching & mentoring business for over 10 years, Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity while being true to themselves.
Kay’s clients learn how to present themselves most effectively at work and to combine strategic, planned career move-making steps with influencing skills. She also teaches compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets around, for example, money, ambition and worthiness. She draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the male-dominated world of London insurance broking. Kay started her career at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own coaching business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.
Comfortable on her feet, Kay regularly hosts Live Events (for 5 years, her annual 3-Day Live Event – Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE – has shown corporate career women how to attract promotion, recognition and rewards, all without selling their souls). Stay tuned for news about a suite of Day of Magic Experience Events.
Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com
Living close to London with rescue sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, much of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside. Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he knows he’s part of the pack.