Positive Linking eZine: December 18, 2014

 

Volume 101 | 18 December 2014  

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Hello there %$firstname$%,

So, as well as being married to a man whose nickname is Snowman, (Snowy – our name is White after all) he is also now a ‘Freeman’.  A Freeman of The City of London.  It was all very special last week when Snowy had his ceremony to install him as a Freeman.  We went, together with a few close buddies, to The Guildhall which has been a City powerhouse since the 12th Century.  During this time, the Lord Mayor of London rivaled the monarch for influence and power.  Whilst less influential these days, becoming a Freeman of the City of London is part of the path to becoming Lord Mayor of London.  Let’s see %$firstname$%!  As you know, you have to show up and put your name in the hat to take part in so many things in life.

What I realised in all this pomp and circumstance was just how easy it is to forget the importance of ceremony.  The hustle and bustle of today and how we seem to live our lives bouncing from one engagement to another means it’s easy to underestimate the power of our history.  Of respecting the lessons learned – and often forgotten.

Lord Nelson, Florence Nightingale, Winston Churchill and Margaret Thatcher were all Freeman of the City of London and their lives, contribution and influence are still being felt today.  Joan Collins is one too – maybe less of an influencer but hey, she rocks being 80-something and is happily married to a man more than 30 years younger than her.  Influence, of course, comes in many forms %$firstname$%.

Well, here we are signing off for 2014 and wishing you and your family a festive holiday time full of the things you love the most. 

More in 2015.  Much more….

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,

 

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PS – Oscar Wilde said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™ LIVE Event –

Yes, it’s already in the diary!  26, 27, 28 March 2015.  I’ll be hosting my annual 3-day Live Event again in London.  The room’s booked and, rather appropriately, it’s called The Royal Suite. Well, it is a VIP experience %$firstname$%!

Lots of changes to the content, structure and speakers planned as I go with the flow of things myself.  Oh and by the way, here’s something I’ve learned.  There’s what you plan and then there’s what happens in the room.  Always different, always magical.  Staying open is the key!

Do drop your details here if you want to have all the details first.

There’s never been a better time to be a woman in business stepping up and going for what you want.  To receive the recognition, rewards and opportunities you know you deserve, you need to take a stand for yourself and assert yourself – and you must do it in a way, which is true to yourself.  

Take some time for yourself and press ‘Pause’ on your day-to-day ‘To Do’ list by joining us, live and in London, to consider, plan and position yourself for more purposeful career success at work.  Doors open and half the seats have ‘Reserved for VIP Guest’s on them.

As Katy Perry herself says “Baby you’re a firework, c’mon show ’em what you’re worth

You’re worth more than you think you are.  I know it.  Do you?

Or, in other words – Show Up; Sparkle and Be Heard LIVE.

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Short, snappy soundbites on the GO!

Stay Tuned – iTuned

My weekly podcast:  Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard on iTunes.  Weekly savvy communication sound bites and strategies to help you navigate the waters at work and delivered straight to your computer, tablet, iPod – whatever device you use to access audios.  Here’s where you can Subscribe AND leave a Review.

With downloads from Taiwan, Australia, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Spain, Romania, India, Germany, New Zealand, France, USA, Canada AND the UK to name just some of the territories, it’s fair to say we’ve “gone global” here at Sparkle Central!  Please take a moment to Subscribe (so much juice in there for you) and to leave a Review. It makes all the difference AND you know how I believe in asking.

Stars by HelenaC2276 from UK on July 8, 2014 

Brilliant snippets of advice and hints and tips on how to progress in both your professional and personal life all wrapped up in short and easy to listen to podcasts. Anyone who knows Kay or has heard her speak will recognise her clear and practical insight into how to be successful with confidence, ease and a lot of sparkle. I listen to these on my way to work and they set me up for the day. Highly recommended. 

 

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Stop shooting from the lip

How to zip-it and give yourself breathing space

This is a tricky one for so many of us.  Wait.  Pause.  Think a bit.  Choose if Moneyyou’re going to act; to respond.  To ‘Zip it’ is such a useful little phrase and it’s easy to remember.

It’s so easy to assume we have to respond, to fire back after receiving a message, a phone call, and an email and just respond – straight away.  Either ‘shooting from the lip’ or, when writing, ‘shooting from the fingertip’.

So, instead of the flaming arrow you might send which can end up costing a lot of time and money in confusion and back-tracking, why not try a bit of ‘Masterful inactivity’, which is zipping it in action, or really in chosen and considered inaction.  One of my clients named it that and it’s perfect as a mindset.  Masterful inactivity in action.

There’s a difference you see.  Ignoring things has no energy to it.  It’s passive.  Whereas  ‘Masterful inactivity’, has some energy about it.  It’s a decision to wait; to pause; to Zip-It; sometimes to just wait and see how things pan out before responding or acting.  Other times just to breathe or to sleep on it.  Other times to just let it be and let the other person go or certainly let their ‘vibe’ quieten down.

Instead of responding to those flaming-arrow types of email or urgently urgent phone calls, wait. We have to recognise an emergency and act on it, of course, but most of the time others’ urgencies don’t have to become ouremergencies, do they?

Often the person sending the message will either chase you up or – more often than not – call you to follow up or apologise.  They often sort out the thing that they pounced on you to do and, if they don’t, then you now have a choice.  By waiting, pausing – even if it’s just for 5 minutes – you also give yourself time to breathe.  Take time to consider and you often take the energy, frustration and heat out of your own response. 

shhhWhen someone says something to you and you feel the ‘arrrgghh’ of frustration rise up or, often worse, the sarcastic voice which is so easy to use for your response, instead of going with it, wait.  Pause.  Sometimes you don’t even have to comment and it’s often far more powerful if you don’t.   You remember to breathe and you wait. It’s like letting the air go out of it!

If you decide in that moment that you will adopt a bit of ‘masterful inactivity’ then you’ve made a decision as opposed to reacted.  Different.  The other person will often be surprised by your silence.  Also as their own heat dissipates, they may re-think their decision or opinion.  You, on the other hand, decided to just park it for a while.

3 tips to take on and try

  1. Be on the lookout for opportunities to adopt masterful inactivity today. When you open an email, read it and then maybe put it into a file you create called ‘Masterful Inactivity’.  You can then keep an easy eye on when and how you respond, and it’s easy to keep track of any you decide to file here. 
  2. Decide if you’re going to respond to someone or something. Notice how you decide.  Are you thinking things through?  Are you reacting to someone else’s crisis or demand at the price of your own concentration, your own flow? You may just decide to zip it.
  3. Notice other people and how they react or respond. You’ll realise that a lot of people do zip it and watch, wait and see.  Watch how they do it and, depending on how you feel, ask them about it.   

Not a new idea I know but it’s one that works. Seneca, the Roman philosopher (5BC – 65AD) said “It is a great thing to know the season for speech and the season for silence.” “It is a great thing to know the season for speech and the season for silence.”

Enough said %$firstname$%.

This article is extracted from my number 1 best-selling book ‘The A to Z of Being Understood.  Z is for Zip-It.

 

 
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Hannah P.

Family Lawyer, UK Practice

I was moving jobs and thought it the Event was a good opportunity to have some ‘me time’ to think about how I wanted to shape my new role and I went with an open mind.”

“I learnt so much! Everything from the importance of ‘driving your own bus’ in your career to how to justify your reassuringly expensive charges – and even how to comfortably pose for photos! I felt ready to start my new role with a more positive attitude – and how to add a bit of bling.

It was amazing to speak to so many interesting and inspiring women and everyone instantly felt like old friends.

I realised how easy it is to lose your personality whilst building your career and how crucial it is to avoid that if you want to progress.

You’ll be amazed by how much you’ll learn, how much confidence it will give you to go for what you want in your career – and just how much fun this Event is. Be there!

Kay's OwlH is also for Happy, Heartfelt, Hands-on

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

 
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People/Places/Products

Thrive – Arianna Huffington

In Thrive, Arianna Huffington, the co-founder and editor-in-chief of the Huffington Post and one of the most influential women in the world, has written a passionate call to arms, looking to redefine what it means to be successful in today’s world.  I loved this book.  She writes about the need for quality sleep and since reading it I’ve made a true commitment to go to bed earlier.  It’s like magic having 8+ hours and feeling like WonderWoman in the morning as a result.

She likens our drive for money and power to two legs of a three-legged stool. It may hold us up temporarily, but sooner or later we’re going to topple over. We need a third leg – a Third Metric for defining success – in order to live a healthy, productive, and meaningful life.

 

 
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Consider your workspace!

Do you look around you when you’re working and feel inspired or pleased, comforted by what you see?  Few people do and it’s like magic when you place objects which please you, calm you, ground you in your work area.

You don’t have to overdo it but just a couple of pictures, a calendar which you like to look at, move piles of paper and er, crap, which might clutter up your workspace. If it’s your personal office then you can do what inspires you.  Wallpaper, lighting, mirrors, all to please you.  If it’s your corporate space, you can still make it more pleasing on the eye and on your energy.  

When I revamped mine I changed my working day.  I truly love Sparkle Central now.  Before it was just an office I ‘had’ to be in, now it’s an experience and such a calm space to be.  Oh, and it is a Corner Office too (and, if you need convincing, I trebled my income the year I upgraded everything in it, including myself.)

Here’s a picture of the kind of space which inspired me when I remodelled Sparkle Central.  I wonder what will inspire your office space %$firstname$%?  It’s a good time to declutter and change things around.

   
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About Kay White

Kay White works with experienced business women from all around the world (and some very smart men) and shows them – with a combination of language and strategic moves – how to own, position and speak of their value so their income, opportunities and confidence naturally increases. Kay combines private, VIP mentoring with group mentoring, speaking and hosting her annual 3-day Live Event ’Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE”. She also hosts her weekly podcast radio show ‘Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard’ downloadable from her site or on iTunes.

Using insights from her own 20 year corporate career, Kay shows her clients how to plan out their next moves in their business or career. She also shows women how ‘accessorise’ and enhance their day-to-day interactions along the way making them more comfortable, compelling and engaging. They boost their income, prospects and attract more lucrative opportunities as a result as Kay shows her clients how to add true, personal sparkle. Both to themselves and to what they say.

Working with Kay, her clients discover how to be assertive, attract and keep attention and then ask for and get what they want. It’s a learnable skill to ask for what you want, to persuade, influence and get other people engaged and into action – both in writing and face-to-face. Kay’s developed step-by-step systems for her clients to learn, follow and use the steps every day and everywhere. 

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay is the Author of the international #1 bestseller ‘The A to Z of Being Understood’. She’s also a contributing Author in 4 other #1 best-selling books and annually hosts a 3-day Live Event in London for professional women:  Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE. With her straightforward and easy manner, Kay regularly features in magazines and publications. She’s a featured expert in GLAMOUR Magazine in “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Playing Hardball” and a regular guest blogger for We Are The City, a hub network and content site for professional women.

During her 20-year corporate career, Kay worked in the City of London and in Paris to Director level as part of a successful, mainly male, fast-paced team of global insurance brokers. Negotiating multi-million pound, industrial property insurance contracts around the world, she learned (often by her own mistakes along the way) how to – and crucially how not to – get heard, valued and noticed, for the right reasons. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently!

Kay and her husband live close to London with their 3 rescue sighthounds. A lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Find out much more at www.kaywhite.com

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Way Forward Solutions Ltd
3 London Wall Buildings
London EC2M 5PD

Way Forward Solutions Ltd
3 London Wall Buildings
London EC2M 5PD