Positive Linking eZine: December 5, 2014


Volume 100 | 05 December 2014  

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Hello there %$firstname$%,

Crikey!  I just realised this is Issue 100 of my eZine.  Every other week for over 4 years, without missing an issue, my VA Kristin and I have been sending out this brief, helpful missive.  Like so much which makes a positive difference in our lives, it takes commitment and comes with a decision and those 4 years have gone by so fast! Talking of just exactly that, it’s December already and I don’t know about you but, to me, it felt as if 2014 flew by.  Accelerated.  Logically I know there were 11 months with the normal number of days and hours in each and yet %$firstname$%, it has felt sped up.  It’s not just me either.  Anyone I’ve spoken to, from school children to us ‘grown ups’ say that it’s felt as if we were on Fast Forward.

Well, in the spirit of staying in the same metaphor, I took a group of my VIP Clients off on a Retreat. Two days of ‘Pause’ time.  Away from the office, the home, the ‘To Do’ list and we focussed on their ‘To Be’ list.  How to be when things get tough.  How to be when you’re stretched in different directions.  How to be when you don’t know what to do.  How to be comfortable being uncomfortable.  And, so much more %$firstname$%.  

That’s the thing about pressing ‘Pause’ when it seems counter-intuitive.  When you have too much to do.  To pause, stop and do something else for a while.  It re-boots you and your thinking.  As one of my clients said “it’s an experience that you cannot really find anywhere else, a group of women with a similar desire to grow, to expand and to be more of who we are and I feel to me that is very precious.  Being able to connect on different levels and in the process getting to know more about myself.”

Our Retreat Treat was also very special.  I took everyone off to a magical place behind Selfridges to a ‘Create Your Own Perfume’ workshop (or play-shop as it was).  Understanding the different tones and notes contained in perfumes and then we all created our own signature scent. 

I made some major decisions myself during the Retreat.  Just because I’m hosting it, doesn’t mean to say I’m not doing my own version of the work.  Stay tuned!

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™ LIVE Event –

Not long now! Yes, it’s already in the diary!  26, 27, 28 March 2015.  I’ll be hosting my annual 3-day Live Event again in London.  The room’s booked and, rather appropriately, it’s called The Royal Suite. Well, it is a VIP experience %$firstname$%!

Lots of changes to the content, structure and speakers planned as I go with the flow of things myself.  Oh and by the way, here’s something I’ve learned.  There’s what you plan and then there’s what happens in the room.  Always different, always magical.  Staying open is the key!

Do drop your details here if you want to have all the details first.

There’s never been a better time to be a woman in business stepping up and going for what you want.  To receive the recognition, rewards and opportunities you know you deserve, you need to take a stand for yourself and assert yourself – and you must do it in a way, which is true to yourself.  

Take some time for yourself and press ‘Pause’ on your day-to-day ‘To Do’ list by joining us, live and in London, to consider, plan and position yourself for more success at work.  Doors open shortly and half the seats are already ‘Reserved’.

As Katy Perry herself says “Baby you’re a firework, c’mon show ’em what you’re worth

Or, in other words – Show Up; Sparkle and Be Heard LIVE.

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Go On, I Dare You!

As part of my commitment to stretch and grow, one of the things I often do is ‘dare’ myself.  It’s a bit like we did at school.  “Go on Kay, I dare you” and off I’d go and scare myself but do something a bit out of character or outside the rules.  Well, why stop daring yourself as you stretch and grow at work?  I use daring as part of my work with my clients.  Daring them to try something new, stretch, expand.  Daring them to say ‘Yes’ before they’re ready.  To jump and do something different.

So, I dared a client, Sonal Shah, a Project Manager in the IT industry to write an article which would be relevant to you %$firstname$%, as someone interested in smart, savvy communication.   I said to Sonal that if she did, I’d feature it in this ezine which goes out to thousands of women (and a few very smart men) all around the world. 

So, below I’m delighted to share Sonal’s article on remote working.  How to be more efficient and thoughtful, effective and smart, as you work ‘remotely’ with colleagues around the world.  Your words and requests, explanations and asks have to be super-duper clear when you rely on the written word and don’t actually see the person in the flesh.  Go Sonal.

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How Connected Are You?

Effective remote and virtual working takes care and attention

Have you wondered how quickly ‘remote working’ seems to have become an industry standard?  Is it working in reality?  Many organisations seem to be afraid of ‘going away’ from traditional working practices.

Marissa Meyer the CEO and President of Yahoo surprised all in 2013 by ending Yahoo’s long running policy of remote working which caused much controversy.  Marissa Meyer is quoted to say “To become the absolute best place to work, communication and collaboration will be important, so we need to be working side-by-side that is why it is critical that we are all present in our offices.”

In bringing out the policy her view was to encourage ‘staff to work at the office because it generates a more collaborative atmosphere’.

Clearly Meyer thought it hard to make these connections when working remotely and it is reported these actions led to substantial backlash and loss of talented staff.  There is little doubt that a degree of remote working appeals to most employees.  There is flexibility, it cuts down time and money spent commuting and helps with childcare and it certainly helps mothers have a career while also being mothers, not to mention, many business benefits.  It attracts workers in a competitive market, increases retention and definitely improves staff morale.  When employees are allowed and encouraged to work from home this is a huge statement of confidence in staff and one that the vast majority of people will respond to.  Ultimately this comes down to trust of employees. 

However, remote working does create challenges in collaborating and it does make it harder to build a company, a team culture and working in project teams when delivery is priority.

Here are a few key suggestions to manage it effectively.  To keep that connection even when you’re not face-to-face often – if ever.

  • Ensure goals are defined, objectives and tasks understood by all, so less chance to misinterpret emails.  
  • Manage expectations and ensure all know exactly what is expected of them with clear Working Policies in place.  If part of a project team one could suggest core hours when you know all are available online during particular time periods or set an expectation that employees come into the office regularly i.e. on set days. 
  • Incentivise people such as returning to office for a regular team meeting (maybe followed by the pub afterwards!)
  • When communicating ensure that your emails and messages come across in the tone you intended.  Re-read them.  Ensure the recipient cannot misinterpret them – poor messaging can send misleading indications which in turn can disrupt an employee’s capacity to think clearly and communicate creatively and effectively.  Or just plain disconnect.
  • Only if necessary ‘copy’ people.  Make your email specific and follow up by voice content to avoid any mis-communication. 
  • Stay closely in touch to encourage everyone in building strong relationships and boost morale.  Ensure all have each other’s contact details to build productive relationships that last and avoid periods of non-communication.  
  • Checkpoints of deliverables are a very useful way of achieving and keeping on track. 
  • Managers should have ‘active involvement’ and be transparent by ensuring the team know exactly how the project or work is doing and what is planned for the future, which encourages trust.  A manager’s responsibility is to keep workers up to date of both good and bad developments.  Rough with the smooth.
  • Be available – to support – everyone should know how and when to contact the team and ensure everybody has access to the resources they need to support them with their work.
  • Give feedback – do not forget about remote workers with so much going on at a fast pace, so actively give feedback where relevant. 

It really needs strong and present management who understand the concept of remote working to ensure all can work in harmony and produce the best results. Trust builds trust.  It’s so worth taking the time to build it too.

Sonal Shah, PMO Lead.  You can connect with Sonal here. 


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S.P. was a Director in a major global bank who’d got stuck, frustrated and felt very undervalued at work.  Not anymore!  She attended Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE and fairly soon after, attracted a new role and is so thrilled and I’m so proud of her.

I was intrigued by the title of the event! The idea of having access to all the like-minded professional women Kay attracts really motivated me to come. I didn’t want it to end!

I’ve learned so much about myself both from Kay and what she shares and from the generous sharing of other women in the audience. I would never have got access to the sorts of things I’ve learned if I hadn’t had the sense to come here.

I know I’m richer as a result of being here. I’ve opened up to how I can do things differently to realise my potential, be a better person, earn more money and really be much happier in myself.

Kay’s so thoughtful and has a way of understanding what you need before you do and she’s very warm, real and really, really great fun! Be open – what have you got to lose? For a small investment you can get huge access to ways to be truly extraordinary – learn from Kay.

Kay's OwlS is also for Savvy;  Sparkly; Strategic

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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Turning Pro by Steven Pressfield

A ‘belter’ of a book

Steven Pressfield’s first book “The War of Art” surfaced the spectre of resistance. Resistance, according to Steven Pressfield is a force stopping us from doing our work, from stepping up, from claiming our space. Resistance – meaning to struggle, battle, confront – stops you in your tracks. Stops you from doing ‘your’ work.

This book is about the difference between the amateur and the pro – the professional. The amateur tries, thinks about, does a bit, stops. The pro does it. Keeps doing it, keeps showing up to do the work. Rain or shine. Feeling good or feeling crappy.  Keeps going.

Steven’s style is confronting, honest and if you – like so many women – know you hold yourself back, then let this book give you the swift ‘kick in the pants’ we all need sometimes. I know I do.  Health Warning:  He does ‘Eff and Jeff’ in the book and, it’s intentional.  It’s a wake up call.

Or, put another way – pause, breathe, re-group, beat your resistance and keep going. I promise you %$firstname$%, I had my own big resistance moments crafting my live 3-day event AND the 2nd time around, even more so – there was more at stake.  And, I remembered the need to push through the resistance and tell myself “just keep going”.  I am!

And if you need further reassurance %$firstname$%, here’s what Oprah has to say:

“The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.”


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Help Your Feet to Sparkle Too!

vasalineWith Festive parties on the horizon, if you wear sandals, high or otherwise and bare feet ie no tights or hose then this trick is for you!

Your feet get hot and then the sandals or shoes become uncomfortable or stick. So, pop in your bag a little tin of Vaseline or petroleum jelly. It’s MAGIC. When I wear sandals or new shoes, I have my feet, especially my toes, well and truly layered with it and had no bad-feet moments at all.

I’ve rescued women hopping about in pain at weddings, cocktail parties and events by discreetly handing them my handy handbag-sized tin. You may say it’s an ‘old wives’ tale’ %$firstname$% but, whatever, this wife knows it works. It’s hard to sparkle at a party when you only think about how your toes hurt.  Try this instead!

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About Kay White

Kay White works with experienced business women from all around the world (and some very smart men) and shows them – with a combination of language and strategic moves – how to own, position and speak of their value so their income, opportunities and confidence naturally increases. Kay combines private, VIP mentoring with group mentoring, speaking and hosting her annual 3-day Live Event ’Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE”. She also hosts her weekly podcast radio show ‘Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard’ downloadable from her site or on iTunes.

Using insights from her own 20 year corporate career, Kay shows her clients how to plan out their next moves in their business or career. She also shows women how ‘accessorise’ and enhance their day-to-day interactions along the way making them more comfortable, compelling and engaging. They boost their income, prospects and attract more lucrative opportunities as a result as Kay shows her clients how to add true, personal sparkle. Both to themselves and to what they say.

Working with Kay, her clients discover how to be assertive, attract and keep attention and then ask for and get what they want. It’s a learnable skill to ask for what you want, to persuade, influence and get other people engaged and into action – both in writing and face-to-face. Kay’s developed step-by-step systems for her clients to learn, follow and use the steps every day and everywhere. 

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay is the Author of the international #1 bestseller ‘The A to Z of Being Understood’. She’s also a contributing Author in 4 other #1 best-selling books and annually hosts a 3-day Live Event in London for professional women:  Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE. With her straightforward and easy manner, Kay regularly features in magazines and publications. She’s a featured expert in GLAMOUR Magazine in “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Playing Hardball” and a regular guest blogger for We Are The City, a hub network and content site for professional women.

During her 20-year corporate career, Kay worked in the City of London and in Paris to Director level as part of a successful, mainly male, fast-paced team of global insurance brokers. Negotiating multi-million pound, industrial property insurance contracts around the world, she learned (often by her own mistakes along the way) how to – and crucially how not to – get heard, valued and noticed, for the right reasons. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently!

Kay and her husband live close to London with their 3 rescue sighthounds. A lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Find out much more at www.kaywhite.com

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Way Forward Solutions Ltd
3 London Wall Buildings
London EC2M 5PD

Way Forward Solutions Ltd
3 London Wall Buildings
London EC2M 5PD