Positive Linking eZine: February 13, 2015


Volume 104 | 13 February 2015  

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Hello there %$firstname$%,

Crikey – what a lot of change and changes.  Snowy and I’ve just returned from a cheeky break in Barbados.  It’s a treat we try to make happen each year to celebrate Snowy’s birthday and we’ve met and made so many friends there over the years.  We go to the same hotel and yes, even stay in the same room. It truly feels like arriving home, even though the pace is wonderfully slow and there aren’t many palm trees or crystal clear, bright blue waters where we live in England. Snowy was away in the US on business so I flew on my own and had a night and day doing my own thing too.  A testament to the friendly, family feel of the place we stay (and yes, I actually really like being on my own for a little of the time).

We skied most mornings with Ron who has been teaching us to waterski for a while now.   I realised again this year is how many similarities there are between how you approach learning a new skill and the success you achieve in your business or career. Sometimes you have spectacular wipeouts with a face full of salt water but it’s how – and if – you get up and keep going which makes the difference. I skied one morning in the pouring rain and suddenly, the rain stopped and I was skiing under a rainbow. Now that’s special but I had to keep going in the rain to have that rainbow moment!

Having made so many friends over the years by meeting at the same time, same place – some have also turned into clients %$firstname$%.  It just shows again about showing up and being open to what, and who, crosses your path.   I’ve been asked to speak at a Barbados Women’s Group when we go there next year.  I think I might wear a bit more that day than I usually do.

Remember %$firstname$%, always be true to yourself – no one else can be the unique, one-off, multi-faceted person you are!  No one.

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™ LIVE Event –

Well – the gates are officially OPEN and we already have Registrations coming in thick and fast! Crikey – over half the seats are sold already.

You can now reserve your seat at my 3-day LIVE Event “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE”.   March 26, 27, 28. (less than 6 weeks) 

There’s never been a better time to be a woman in business stepping up and going for what you want.  To receive the recognition, rewards and opportunities you know you deserve, you need to take a stand for yourself and assert yourself – and you must do it in a way, which is true to yourself.   

Take some time for yourself and press ‘Pause’ on your day-to-day ‘To Do’ list by joining us, live and in London, to consider, plan and position yourself for more purposeful – and accelerated career success at work.   Learn from and with other women like you who are ready to really step up at work and don’t want to have to plan it all by yourself.  Let’s do it together.

Earlybird BONUS Alert

Use the code:  CONNECTION25 at Registration and take 25% off the Earlybird tickets. 
(Earlybird tickets increase by £150 on 16th February

As Katy Perry herself says “Baby you’re a firework, c’mon show ’em what you’re worth

You’re worth more than you think you are.  I know it.  Do you?

Or, in other words – Show Up; Sparkle and Be Heard LIVE.



“I’m going to take back the driving seat in my career.”

Kay brings together an amazing group of women from all different industries and backgrounds and it now feels like we’re a team, we’re a community and we’ve all helped each other out and she did that for us. Everyone in the room has gelled, even if they’re perhaps naturally a little bit shy, by the end of the first morning people are able to put their hands up and ask questions and you know no idea, no question is a stupid one.

One of things that we’ve talked about over the three days is to be clear on where you are on your bus and I feel as if I’ve actually been in the driving seat in my bus for the past year which is brilliant but I’m getting pushed out; someone else wants that seat. I just want some ideas on how to cope with that and lots of the exercises and lots of the topics we’ve covered these three days have really helped me.

As a result of being at the Event, I’m going to take back the control in my career, get back in the driving seat of my own bus. The Event has really given me the motivation to do that but also given me some really practical tips and techniques that I can start to use straight away.

If you’re thinking about coming to this Event in future years, then you just have to do it. It has been so much better than I ever imagined it would be. I’ve absolutely loved the three days and been raving about it to anyone I’ve spoken to!”

Alison Gr. Senior Associate, Global Bank

Psychologies Magazine – Feature & Video

It was a real honour to be interviewed last month by Suzy Greaves, the Editor of the popular Psychologies Magazine.  I’ve bought it and read it for years and have been told a number of times “you should feature in Psychologies Kay”.  Well, now I’m thrilled to share I am.

You can watch the 18 min video here and hear me share with Suzy my thoughts on how to be more ‘out there’ and show up, even if you’re naturally more introverted.  I am too. You’ll also hear me share a few key things I see women do which holds them back and what to do instead.  

If you buy the March issue %$firstname$%, due out on the shelves at the end of February, you’ll see a surprise in there about my LIVE Event too.

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Go off and do something else instead

(and notice what you notice)

That expression “busy doing something else” is where your ideas and inspiration often comes from.  It gives you the sense of being absorbed, concentrating, focused on something so other thoughts are put aside or take a back seat.  It’s something to be encouraged, especially when you’re scratching your head looking for the answer to a tricky issue or ticklish situation.  Go off and do – or absorb yourself – in something else.  It’s often where the answer lies for you.

Sometimes the full-on focus we give to something means we miss some of the subtleties of what’s actually really happening.   I hear people saying things like “I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall” or “I can’t stop thinking about ABC” or “I can’t leave it until I’ve sorted it, I’m like a dog with a bone”.  Often that’s exactly the problem.  Go off.  Do something else instead.  Leave it.

When you give yourself permission to leave it – and I do mean give yourself permission – because it’s an active, energetic decision (rather than a sign of defeat) – by saying “OK, let’s just park this for now, I’m going to go off and do something else” this is often where the ‘aha’ moment is waiting for you.   You know I’m not suggesting you toss and turn inside a question for ages and use up time and energy fretting.  Of course not.  

Buy yourself some time and take yourself away from the thinking, just for a while.  A day.  Overnight.  A week.  You know your deadlines but it’s the action of parking it and staying open to what comes up in your thinking whilst you’re otherwise engage I’m talking about.  Let me explain.

Waterskiing.  I’ve skied for years and love it – the speed, the sensation, the ‘hey I might fall off’ feeling at times (sometimes, a lot of the time).

What I realise though, is how many similarities and insights there when you compare improving ‘something else’ with building and expanding your business or your career.

Look and see these 5 quick lessons to learn about business and career success from being busy waterskiing:

  1. Keep flexible and relaxed as much as you can.  There are forces at work, which you can’t see, and they’ll help you.   You don’t have to force it, go with where you’re being pulled.  Stay loose.
  2. Expect there will be bumps in the water and the current can pull you off course but keep your eyes on the water where you’re going.  Stop watching and worrying about the bumps all the time; watch the water where you’re going instead.
  3. Let go when you have to.  When you decide to – or have to – sometimes it’s best to just let go, have a face full of water for a moment and then get up again and get back on. Hanging on too tightly doesn’t do much for your style or your peace of mind.
  4. Listen to the advice of your mentor/instructor.  Other people can often see what you can’t when you’re in action.  It might be just a simple tweak and it’s too close to the end of your nose for you to see it.  Study and listen for what the experts do and then model it.  Make it a style of your own.
  5. Rest up and regroup.  Remember it’s about the ride too and it’s more of a marathon than a sprint. Take breaks, limber up and enjoy the scenery along the way.

Ron, our ski instructor, uses a great expression, which is helpful to remember whilst you’re busy doing something else “keep your legs loose, your tush in and reeeelaaaax”.

To enjoy the creative ways your mind works when you’re busy doing something else, ask yourself these 3 quick questions to help you with your decision:

  1. What is it that most concerns me about this decision.  
  2. How will I handle that and what skills will I need to bring into the mix to handle this?
  3. What lessons are there for me to use and then share with my colleagues, friends or clients, which could help the situation we’re scratching our heads with?

Interestingly, I sat for 48 hours with a decision on holiday.  I knew I needed to land on a decision before moving forward on plans which affect my clients, my team and my lifestyle.  Using the exact steps and the waterskiing as a distraction, I stayed loose, kept my tush in and landed on my decision.  More about that soon.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:

“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.


Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”


To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, we’re always interested to hear from you. Please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right)

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Pam C.


My main ‘Aha’ is being able to articulate my professional value.

“I can already think of some personal things which are going on with me as well and link them. As a Mentor Kay’s generous and her advice, tips and stories are practical and pragmatic. I know exactly how I’m going to be able to put what I’ve learned into practice.

I think you owe yourself the chance to be able to sit in a room full of like-minded, intelligent women in a non-competitive environment and share your and learn from others’ experiences.”

Kay's OwlP is also for Pertinent, Polished, Profound

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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Steve Cozart is the official photographer at my 3-day Live Event in March!  Booking and flying Steve to London from California for the Event is an easy, strategic decision for me.  Steve’s known as ‘The Camera Guy for the Camera Shy’ and he speaks on Day 1 giving you instantly usable tips for you to be natural and comfortable on camera and the difference it makes when you have a great photographer working with you.  You can find out more about Steve here.

You’ll instantly be able to update your social media photos and your LinkedIn bio (you do have a photo on there, don’t you?  And not one cut out from when you were at a wedding?)

Steve CozartWhile Steve’s here in London, he’s got a great offer for you to be able to have your own photographs done or updated with him privately and it’s all so easy.  Just email Caroline@kaywhite.com, our Event Concierge, and she’ll let you know about it.  I only ever recommend people to you who I know and trust.  Steve’s definitely one of those. 

Story:  One of my clients, Ali, hated having her photo taken and it upset her family when she’d insist on deleting photos of her.  After Steve’s talk at my Event, all that changed.  Her husband Nick, personally emailed Steve to thank him for helping her as she’s now cool as a cucumber about having her photo taken! 

If that sounds familiar in any way to you%$firstname$%, join me at Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE.


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37 Seconds to ‘Perfection’ – Yeah, Right

Talking of photographs, do you ever look at magazines or TV adverts and think to yourself “Oh my, I’ll never look like that…my X is too Y, my Y is too Z, I’m too X etc etc” or “Oh, I’d love to look like that”?

I know I used to.  Recently, more and more, women are being tweaked and ‘photoshopped’ in advertising to the extent their images aren’t just tidied up, they’re almost unreal.  And I mean, unreal.  Are we supposed to all want to look like Barbie?  What about younger women – the pressure to look ‘perfect’ is immense.

Realising you rarely see an un-enhanced photograph of a celebrity or model, look at the photos knowing they’re just not real instead of thinking that you’re not X enough.

Look here and see what I mean.


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About Kay White

Kay White works with experienced business women from all around the world (and some very smart men) and shows them – with a combination of language and strategic moves – how to own, position and speak of their value so their income, opportunities and confidence naturally increases.

Kay combines private, VIP mentoring with group mentoring, speaking and hosting her annual 3-day Live Event ’Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE”. She also hosts her weekly podcast radio show ‘Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard’ downloadable from her site or on iTunes.

Using insights from her own 20 year corporate career, Kay shows her clients how to plan out their next moves in their business or career. She also shows women how ‘accessorise’ and enhance their day-to-day interactions along the way making them more comfortable, compelling and engaging. They boost their income, prospects and attract more lucrative opportunities as a result as Kay shows her clients how to add true, personal sparkle. Both to themselves and to what they say.

Working with Kay, her clients discover how to be assertive, attract and keep attention and then ask for and get what they want. It’s a learnable skill to ask for what you want, to persuade, influence and get other people engaged and into action – both in writing and face-to-face. Kay’s developed step-by-step systems for her clients to learn, follow and use the steps every day and everywhere. 

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay is the Author of the international #1 bestseller ‘The A to Z of Being Understood’. She’s also a contributing Author in 4 other #1 best-selling books and annually hosts a 3-day Live Event in London for professional women:  Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE. With her straightforward and easy manner, Kay regularly features in magazines and publications. She’s a featured expert in GLAMOUR Magazine in “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Playing Hardball” and a regular guest blogger for We Are The City, a hub network and content site for professional women.

During her 20-year corporate career, Kay worked in the City of London and in Paris to Director level as part of a successful, mainly male, fast-paced team of global insurance brokers. Negotiating multi-million pound, industrial property insurance contracts around the world, she learned (often by her own mistakes along the way) how to – and crucially how not to – get heard, valued and noticed, for the right reasons. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently!

Kay and her husband live close to London with their 3 rescue sighthounds. A lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Find out much more at www.kaywhite.com

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Way Forward Solutions Ltd
3 London Wall Buildings
London EC2M 5PD

Way Forward Solutions Ltd
3 London Wall Buildings
London EC2M 5PD