Positive Linking eZine: February 19, 2016

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Volume 127 | 19 February 2016  

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

Crikey – what a lot of change and changes. Snowy and I’ve just returned from a cheeky break in Barbados. It’s a treat we try to make happen each year to celebrate Snowy’s birthday and we’ve met and made so many friends there over the years. We go to the same hotel and yes, even stay in the same room. It truly feels like arriving home, even though the pace is wonderfully slow and there aren’t many palm trees or crystal clear, bright blue waters where we live in England. Snowy was away in the US on business so I flew on my own and had a couple of nights doing my own thing too. A testament to the friendly, family feel of the place we stay (and yes, I actually really like being on my own for a little of the time).

We skied most mornings with Ron who has been teaching us to waterski for a while now. I realised again this year is how many similarities there are between how you approach learning a new skill and the success you achieve in your business or career. Sometimes you have spectacular wipeouts with a face full of salt water but it’s how – and if – you get up and keep going which makes the difference.

Having made so many friends over the years by meeting at the same time, same place – some have also turned into clients %$firstname$%. It just shows again about showing up and being open to what, and who, crosses your path. It’s also an example of sticking to what works for us rather than paying attention to those who say “Oooh, don’t you want to try somewhere new?”

Remember %$firstname$%, always be true to yourself – no one else can be the unique, one-off, multi-faceted person you are! No one.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,


Let’s connect even more

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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™

3-Day LIVE Event 2016

Shall I keep you posted?

If you know you need to step up and accelerate your success at work AND allow yourself to be seen, valued and heard – do be there in 2016. Here’s the date and it will be in London again. Join me LIVE and learn with and from other ambitious, experienced women like you.

AND it may be the FINAL event like this which I host.

If you’ve been thinking about coming ‘some time’ well, this year in June might be your last chance….

>> 9, 10, 11 June 2016.

Here’s where you can let me know you want to be kept in the loop AND receive extra resources in advance.

Oh and below, here’s a quick video showing a little of what happened in March this year and what you’ve got in store in 2016. Take a few moments to see what comes up for ambitious women like you and what happens when you put yourself into an intentional space like this.

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Go off and do something else instead

Stimulate your creative flow with something different

That expression “busy doing something else” is where your ideas and inspiration often comes from. It gives you the sense of being absorbed, concentrating, focused on something so other thoughts are put aside or take a back seat. It’s something to be encouraged, especially when you’re scratching your head looking for the answer to a tricky issue or ticklish situation. Go off and do – or absorb yourself – in something else. It’s often where the answer lies for you.

Sometimes the full-on focus we give to something means we miss some of the subtleties of what’s actually really happening. I hear people saying things like “I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall” or “I can’t stop thinking about ABC” or “I can’t leave it until I’ve sorted it, I’m like a dog with a bone”. Often that’s exactly the problem. Go off. Do something else instead. Leave it.

When you give yourself permission to leave it – and I do mean give yourself permission – because it’s an active, energetic decision (rather than a sign of defeat) – by saying “OK, let’s just park this for now, I’m going to go off and do something else” this is often where the ‘aha’ moment is waiting for you. You know I’m not suggesting you toss and turn inside a question for ages and use up time and energy fretting. Of course not.

Buy yourself some time and take yourself away from the thinking, just for a while. A day. Overnight. A week. You know your deadlines but it’s the action of parking it and staying open to what comes up in your thinking whilst you’re otherwise engage I’m talking about. Let me explain.

Waterskiing. I’ve skied for years and love it – the speed, the sensation, the ‘hey I might fall off’ feeling at times (sometimes, a lot of the time).

What I realise though, is how many similarities and insights there are when you compare improving ‘something else’ with building and expanding your business or your career.

Look and see these 5 quick lessons to learn about business and career success from being busy waterskiing:

  1. Keep flexible and relaxed as much as you can. There are forces at work, which you can’t see, and they’ll help you. You don’t have to force it, go with where you’re being pulled. Stay loose.

  2. Expect there will be bumps in the water and the current can pull you off course but keep your eyes on the water where you’re going. Stop watching and worrying about the bumps all the time; watch the water where you’re going instead.

  3. Let go when you have to. When you decide to – or have to – sometimes it’s best to just let go, have a face full of water for a moment and then get up again and get back on. Hanging on too tightly doesn’t do much for your style or your peace of mind.

  4. Listen to the advice of your mentor/instructor. Other people can often see what you can’t when you’re in action. It might be just a simple tweak and it’s too close to the end of your nose for you to see it. Study and listen for what the experts do and then model it. Make it a style of your own.

  5. Rest up and regroup. Remember it’s about the ride too and it’s more of a marathon than a sprint. Take breaks, limber up and enjoy the scenery along the way.

Ron, our ski instructor, uses a great expression, which is helpful to remember whilst you’re busy doing something else “keep your legs loose, your tush in and reeeelaaaax”.

To enjoy the creative ways your mind works when you’re busy doing something else, ask yourself these 3 quick questions to help you with your decision:

  1. What is it that most concerns me about this decision?

  2. How will I handle that and what skills will I need to bring into the mix to handle this?

  3. What lessons are there for me to use and then share with my colleagues, friends or clients, which could help the situation we’re scratching our heads with?

Interestingly, I sat for 48 hours with a decision on holiday. I knew I needed to land on a decision before moving forward on plans which affect my clients, my team and my lifestyle. Using the exact steps and the waterskiing as a distraction, I stayed loose, kept my tush in and landed on my decision. More about that soon.

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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Pam C.


“My main ‘Aha’ is being able to articulate my professional value.”

“I can already think of some personal things which are going on with me as well and link them. As a Mentor, Kay’s generous and her advice, tips and stories are practical and pragmatic. I know exactly how I’m going to be able to put what I’ve learned into practice.

I think you owe yourself the chance to be able to sit in a room full of like-minded, intelligent women in a non-competitive environment and share your and learn from others’ experiences. Then, go off and implement with more confidence and clarity.”

Kay's Owl

P is for Pam and also for Pertinent, Polished, Profound

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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My Audiobook is available NOW!

After years of being asked “When are you going to turn your book into an audio book Kay?” I now have!

The interesting thing about making the decision to do this Kay is that when enough people tell you the same thing, pay attention. They’re on to something and see something for you which often you’ve not seen, yet.

You can now access all the information, from A to Z, in your car, on the running machine and – if you’re like me – when you’re walking the dog! The audio is carefully produced with music added and touches of musical fairy dust too.

You can hear me lay out strategies to accelerate connection, say what needs to be said, be more savvy in how you communicate and, crucially, you can hear my tone and intonation behind the messages. The audiobook is here. I checked the ‘back end’ and it’s already been downloaded a myriad of times and a woman in Melbourne emailed me to say I’ve been adding to her commute with the strategies in the book. I always wanted to be able to support women even when I’m sleeping! With the Podcast and the Audiobook, I do. 

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite

Stop faffing and box yourself in!

Do you often do everything else but the thing you know you really want to (and should) be doing? I know how easy it is to tidy your cupboards, empty the dishwasher, call a friend and avoid doing ‘the thing’.

This is something I try which works for me. I give myself a chunk of time on my handy iPhone timer – say 45 minutes, which is enough time to get going but not too long to overwhelm yourself – and that’s all I do. No emails, calls, tidying – just starting or continuing with the task I’ve been avoiding!

I find it helps me to box myself in like this. I remember when I created my website for my 3-Day Live Event back in 2013 – I had to do this a number of times. Saying to Snowy, “Whatever you hear, however bad the language, don’t let me out!” As it turned out it was easier than I thought but only because I boxed myself in and committed to getting it done. See if or how it helps you %$firstname$%. And, GO!

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About Kay

As a Career Moves Mentor, Kay White works with experienced, ambitious career women from all around the world (and some very smart men) and shows them – with a combination of language and strategic moves – how to get noticed, promoted, valued and rewarded at work.

Kay combines private one-on-one, VIP mentoring with group mentoring, live speaking and hosts her own annual 3-day Live Event ’Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE” in London. She also hosts her weekly Podcast Radio Show downloadable from her site or on iTunes.

Using insights from her own +20 year corporate career, Kay shows her clients how to plan out their next moves in their business or career. She also shows women how ‘accessorise’ and enhance their day-to-day interactions along the way making them more comfortable, compelling and engaging. They boost their income, prospects and attract more lucrative opportunities.

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay is the Author of the international #1 bestseller ‘The A to Z of Being Understood’. She’s also Founder of Way Forward Solutions Ltd, a multiple 6-figure private coaching & mentoring company. With her straightforward and easy manner, Kay regularly features in magazines and publications. She’s a featured expert in GLAMOUR Magazine in “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Playing Hardball” and a regular guest blogger for We Are The City, a hub network and content site for professional women.

During her 20-year corporate career, Kay worked in the City of London and in Paris to Director level as part of a successful, mainly male, fast-paced team of global insurance brokers. Negotiating multi-million pound, industrial property insurance contracts around the world, she learned (often by her own mistakes along the way) how to – and crucially how not to – get heard, valued and noticed, for the right reasons. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Kay and her husband live close to London with their sighthounds, DeeDee & Pharaoh. A lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Find out much more at www.kaywhite.com.

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