Positive Linking eZine: February 27, 2015


Volume 105 | 27 February 2015  

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Hello there %$firstname$%,

Well, I’ve been well and truly “knocked for six” as we say.  Returning from our holiday a couple of weeks ago, I’d been suffering with a tickly, throaty cough.  I ignored it thinking the sunshine would sort it all out.  Wrong.  On holiday I felt fine.  When we came back, I think the plane ride brought it all out.

I’ve had the worst chest infection I think I can remember %$firstname$%.  Coughing until it hurt, blocked nose, shivers and all with a suntan!  Surreal.  After 2 courses of strong antibiotics I’m really on the mend now and finally have stopped barking like one of our hounds.

The lesson, as career women who often put ourselves way down the ‘self-care’ list, is this.  Pay attention to things when they’re not shifting.  I could have seen the Doctor before we went on holiday but didn’t make the time or make it important enough.   If this sounds any alarm bells for you %$firstname$%, however faint, do pay attention.  Our Doctor said I was a few days away from acute bronchitis.  Yikes.

So, resting and watching films in my PJs with hot lemon drinks has been on the agenda.  Miss DeeDee, our newest Lurcher, approves as she’s had a poorly paw from jumping over something.

How can you show up and sparkle if you’re not on fine form?  I’m being very patient and kind to myself, something else that’s not always easy for women like us, is it?  Let me leave you with a question someone asked me.  “How can you be more kind to yourself?”

Warmly to you %$firstname$%.


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PS – Oscar Wilde said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™ LIVE Event –

Well – with just under a month to go now Registrations are coming in thick and fast! Crikey – over 75% of tickets are sold already.  

Women from industries such as Banking, Insurance, IT, Asset Management, Hospitality, Accountancy, Law, Compliance are already joining us and – so can you!

There’s never been a better time to be a woman in business stepping up and going for what you want.  To receive the recognition, rewards and opportunities you know you deserve, you need to take a stand for yourself and assert yourself – and you must do it in a way, which is true to yourself.   

Take some time for yourself and press ‘Pause’ on your day-to-day ‘To Do’ list by joining us, live and in London, to consider, plan and position yourself for more purposeful – and accelerated career success at work. 


Special Code Alert

Use the code: GLITTERBALL at Registration and take £200 off your seat.  They’re now £397 but you can join us for £197 whilst we still have seats.  

As Katy Perry herself says “Baby you’re a firework, c’mon show ’em what you’re worth

You’re worth more than you think you are.  I know it.  Do you?

Or, in other words – Show Up; Sparkle and Be Heard LIVE.



“You don’t get this sort of thing on offer anywhere.”

You don’t get this sort of thing on offer anywhere in Corporate so you can get lots of soft skills courses but there’s nothing like this out there at all. It was lovely to meet like-minded women. I’ve made lots of decisions so one is about letting go to help myself move forward more, there’s nothing wrong with being scared and having that fear but how to overcome it and that will be my next journey.

Kay has been excellent; she has been really a true host, never looks tired and so full of energy and keeps you engaged throughout. I will tell the truth, there wasn’t one moment where I looked at my watch these last 3 days!

I would say bite the bullet and just attend Kay’s event, you have absolutely nothing to lose and at the very least you will make a lot more new friends with a great new network as well because I can see that happening all around me.”

Sonal Shah, Project Manager, IT Consultancy

Here’s a Snapshot of all that’s on offer for you!


Psychologies Magazine – Feature & Video

It was a real honour to be interviewed last month by Suzy Greaves, the Editor of the popular Psychologies Magazine.  I’ve bought it and read it for years and have been told a number of times “you should feature in Psychologies Kay”.  Well, now I’m thrilled to share I am.

You can watch the 18 min video here and hear me share with Suzy my thoughts on how to be more ‘out there’ and show up, even if you’re naturally more introverted.  I am too. You’ll also hear me share a few key things I see women do which holds them back and what to do instead.  

If you buy the April issue %$firstname$%, due out on the shelves on 27 February, you’ll see a surprise in there about my LIVE Event too.

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Say Yes Before You’re Ready

7 Words To Raise Your Game & Visibility at Work

What I know for sure is that people like certainty.  When someone steps up and says an assertive “Yes” to an idea or an opportunity there’s often a palpable sigh of relief.  

There are so many ways to say something and every way means something different to your listener as you say it.  Imagine you’re in a meeting and someone asks if anyone is able to take on a new project or put some figures together.  You think to yourself, ‘I could probably do that’ but you may sit on that thought and say nothing and wait for someone else to offer or you may put yourself forward.  The trick here is, if you do decide to step up and offer, it’s how you put yourself forward.

To use assertive, positive language when you’re going about your business sends a message, very clearly, to those around you that you’re someone who gets on with things and who can be trusted to do things.

A lot of people struggle with the difference between coming across as aggressive instead of assertive.  Assertive is ‘self-confident, self-assured, firm’ and aggressive ‘hostile, belligerent, forceful’ and there’s a different energy about the two, of course there is.

As a savvy communicator, you’re going to be far more effective if you come across as clear, firm and self-confident as you go about your business, rather than belligerent or, almost worse, wishy-washy using indecisive language.  It casts doubt.

Say ‘Yes’ before you’re ready is about trusting yourself and working out the details as you go.  Not waiting until you know everything.  By then, normally, someone else has jumped in and you’re still getting ready to get ready.

You could offer to help on this new project in so many ways and depending on how you say it, your message lands differently:

  • ‘I suppose I could do it’ – I suppose meaning I might be able to, if pushed.  I could meaning I can, but I’m not saying I will
  • I might have some capacity to do it’ – might doesn’t mean to say I will
  • I’ve got enough on my plate’ – unhelpful, defensive, bordering on stroppy
  • I’ll try to do it’ – I might be able to do it but I’m not really sure I’ll be able to
  • Leave it with me.  I’ll do it.’ – I’m able to do it and I will do it 

We all know which one of those simple phrases gives the most reassurance, gives the most credibility and which one you’d want to hear if you were asking for help.  There’s a completely different energy about the last phrase – you can feel that the person saying it is capable and certain. 

Being more assertive as you respond positions you with other people as someone who’s confident of their abilities, someone who can get things done, put forward for interesting projects, promotions, and then gets promoted.

Those 7 words ‘Leave it with me.  I’ll do it’ will raise your game.

Hedging your bets with ‘might be able to’ will only put doubt in other people’s minds about whether you will or won’t and whether you’re capable.

When you put yourself forward to do things you become someone who offers time, help and input, and to make it most effective for you use assertive, positive language.  Leave as little doubt in people’s minds as possible. 

I’ll leave that with you.


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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:

“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.


Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”


To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, we’re always interested to hear from you. Please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right)

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International UK-Based Charity

Moving from the corporate world of Financial PR in London, to the not for profit sector in the South West of the UK has been a sea change for me.

“Kay’s mentoring helped me get to grips with a totally different set of motivational drivers in the workplace, and build on my shared belief that reciprocation and communication are key to working life successes. The results continue to amaze me! She helped me land a senior role in an internationally active charity whose objectives I am an ardent supporter of.

Everyone can benefit from working with Kay and she’s a constant source of inspiration and insight into how you can make your day-to-day communication more effective to help you feel more confident and strong.”

Kay's OwlN is also for Nifty, Nimble, Natural

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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Change One Belief

Change One BeliefWe buy into our beliefs so deeply we think they’re real but in fact, the more we dig in and challenge them, we realise they are all made up and are just thoughts.  In most cases we’ve inherited our thoughts and beliefs from parents, coaches, teachers, TV and media, colleagues, friends.  Some with the best intention, some definitely not.

So what happens when you ‘Change One Belief?  Well, my friend and publisher, Bob Burnham’s book is a compilation of inspirational stories about how changing just one belief can transform your life.

Change One Belief quickly became a number 1 best-seller when it was released and my contributing story is called ‘Right Under My Nose’

My story “%$firstname$%” is about when I changed the belief that despite being 6 foot tall, I didn’t have to marry someone taller than me.  I could share my life and marry someone quite a bit shorter than me.  My life changed for the better in so many ways, right from the moment I changed that one belief.  My husband Snowy was, and happily always will be, ‘Right Under My Nose’.


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sparkly bit

ZipperDo you ever struggle with a zipper on either a handbag, purse or – in fact – any type of zipper? 

Stay with me. It can be such a pain and it wastes time and precious energy fighting with a zip.

I once took a bag back to a rather smart shop because the dratted zipper kept getting stuck.  The assistant just took a simple pencil from the drawer of her desk and, whilst chatting with me, moved the lead on the pencil over all the teeth of the zipper a few times.  She sharpened the pencil again and did it some more.  

SusannaBingo!  Shazam!  It worked a treat and the bag zip just opened with ease.  I was stunned.

Always one for liking small, subtle and simple changes to make things easier day-to-day,  this one’s for you.



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About Kay White

Kay White works with experienced business women from all around the world (and some very smart men) and shows them – with a combination of language and strategic moves – how to own, position and speak of their value so their income, opportunities and confidence naturally increases.

Kay combines private, VIP mentoring with group mentoring, speaking and hosting her annual 3-day Live Event ’Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE”. She also hosts her weekly podcast radio show ‘Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard’ downloadable from her site or on iTunes.

Using insights from her own 20 year corporate career, Kay shows her clients how to plan out their next moves in their business or career. She also shows women how ‘accessorise’ and enhance their day-to-day interactions along the way making them more comfortable, compelling and engaging. They boost their income, prospects and attract more lucrative opportunities as a result as Kay shows her clients how to add true, personal sparkle. Both to themselves and to what they say.

Working with Kay, her clients discover how to be assertive, attract and keep attention and then ask for and get what they want. It’s a learnable skill to ask for what you want, to persuade, influence and get other people engaged and into action – both in writing and face-to-face. Kay’s developed step-by-step systems for her clients to learn, follow and use the steps every day and everywhere. 

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay is the Author of the international #1 bestseller ‘The A to Z of Being Understood’. She’s also a contributing Author in 4 other #1 best-selling books and annually hosts a 3-day Live Event in London for professional women:  Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE. With her straightforward and easy manner, Kay regularly features in magazines and publications. She’s a featured expert in GLAMOUR Magazine in “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Playing Hardball” and a regular guest blogger for We Are The City, a hub network and content site for professional women.

During her 20-year corporate career, Kay worked in the City of London and in Paris to Director level as part of a successful, mainly male, fast-paced team of global insurance brokers. Negotiating multi-million pound, industrial property insurance contracts around the world, she learned (often by her own mistakes along the way) how to – and crucially how not to – get heard, valued and noticed, for the right reasons. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently!

Kay and her husband live close to London with their 3 rescue sighthounds. A lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Find out much more at www.kaywhite.com

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Way Forward Solutions Ltd
3 London Wall Buildings
London EC2M 5PD

Way Forward Solutions Ltd
3 London Wall Buildings
London EC2M 5PD