Where do I send your free 30-minute audio ‘Do You Have Trouble Saying No?’
to show you how to assert firm boundaries with confidence PLUS your POWER List—over 1,200 words and phrases to add influence to your language and quickly attract attention? ALSO receive more tips in my bi-monthly eZine and unsubscribe at any time.
Positive Linking eZine: January 13, 2017
Volume 145 | 13 January 2017
Hello there %$firstname$%,
I don’t know about you but I’m finding it a little difficult to get into my ‘normal’ rhythm again after the Year End break. It’s less about not knowing what to do and more about where I really want to invest my energy. It’s not something I’m fretting about because I know we have seasons in our lives for things, we have fits and starts and we also need to sometimes just allow things to unfold. As someone who is used to making things happen and being an implementer, it’s not my natural state to just wait to see what happens. Instinctively though I know it’s the time to do that.
This weekend Snowy and I took off to the seaside and walking along the deserted beach together we saw 2 seals swimming close to the shore. Beautifully still water and these 2 seals, like submarine periscopes, bobbed about in the water and stared straight at us. They made me feel very calm and even more like questioning the pace I want to work at this year.
We came home via the BBC Radio Suffolk’s studios where I had been invited to be a guest on a show. You could say “Oh my Kay, on a Sunday you went onto a radio show?” but here’s the thing. Yes, I did and Yes, I wanted to. It was fun and the subjects were interesting – when/if confrontation has its place, wearing make up or not bothering, learning Mandarin as the language of the future and other such enquiring subjects. The whole thing was very relaxed and I’ve been invited on again soon. Georgina Wroe and I had many laughs and when I didn’t know what I was going to say exactly, I bought myself a little time. See below an article I’ve got for you on doing exactly that.
My sense is that I’m heading in the direction of TV and/or radio and that inspires me. I have an idea for a TV show and have already started talking to a producer about it. As the phrase goes, “where attention and intention goes, energy and results quickly flow”. Let’s see. I’m happy to wait for a little direction towards the next direction. In the meantime, plenty to offer you in terms of value-adds and see below about a complimentary call I’m hosting next Thursday 19th. I hope to host you live and in person on the call all about coming out and ASKING for what you want!
Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.
Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,
Let’s connect even more
PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.
Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™
3-Day LIVE Event 2017
I believe in setting an intention and going with it %$firstname$%. If you wished you could have been there with us this year and know you need to be there in 2017, here’s the date and it will be in London again. The contract for the room is close to being signed and, already, women are telling me “I’m coming next year – I know I need to be there”.
So. Just saying. If you do too, now you know the when. The ‘how’ will work itself out….. 5, 6, 7 October 2017.
Take a Pause & Boost Your Presence
Less speed, more grace and ease
Do you barrel from one thing to another at work? Do you find yourself finishing one meeting or phone call and then jumping straight into or onto the next? How about when you arrive at a meeting, do you like to get there early, settle in, suss out the terrain as it were – or do you clatter in and often find you’re wishing you had a couple of minutes to just gather yourself?
Well, if you’ve said “Yup” to any or all of the above, firstly you’re not alone. This is the M.O. as my friend Norman used to call it (modus operandi – way of working – I had to look it up when he told me) of so many women. We think we can fit one more call in or just five more minutes of attention on something before jumping to the next thing.
What’s interesting too is that in our desire to be ‘on it’ and be seen as being busy and in need, if you will, we sacrifice our precious state of mind. Our state.
When you look up ‘State’ in this context in the dictionary it offers “the particular condition that someone or something is in at a specific time” and when your particular condition is just rush, rush, rush then we miss out on preparing ourselves for the best state of mind to be in for the situation.
If you build in extra time to just prepare your state, to think about what you want to have happen, what you want to say, avoid, include, decide as you move through your day you’ll find you won’t be operating on the back foot. You’ll be ‘at choice’ as I’ve heard it called.
The difference it makes to your energy as you consider how you want to show up, how you want people to perceive you can make the difference between you getting the response you want. Or not.
We both know we pick up on others’ energy. Their breathing, their pausing, their demeanour. Well, they pick up on ours of course. Women tell me they rush from one thing to another and say they’re conscious of their heels being heard clattering down the hallway or stairs. This gives the impression we’re on the back foot. Hurried. Late.
So, as an idea for you if any or all of the above has made you nod, here are a few things to do instead:
– Take a breath when you put the phone down. Take just a moment – 30 seconds – to stare into space and consider what just happened. What was agreed. How was that person doing? What you noticed.
– Dial in to conference lines 3 minutes before you need to be there. Be the one who’s ready to be ready rather than scrabbling around finding the dial-in details.
– Even if you’re late, gather yourself in the lift or in the restrooms before. Just for a moment. Instead of running or bustling to where you’re going, try consciously striding with measured steps. It calms you down.
– Choose your state. Tell yourself how you’ll be as you move to your next meeting, call or engagement. Instead of “I hope I’ll get what I want” or “I must make this happen” try to be more specific with yourself. “I’m calm, open and committed” for example. Instead of “I must speak up and be heard at some point” try “I’m prepared and adding value by contributing”. It tells your brain what state you want to be in.
Personal presence is one of those ethereal things. People feel your energy, your gaze, your breathing, your pace and all those ingredients come from your state.
What’s your most effective state to go about your business? If you want any further clues about the importance of planning for your state, here’s a few words from Tony Robbins, the super successful author, motivational speaker.
“Put yourself in a state of mind where you say to yourself, “Here is an opportunity for you to celebrate like never before, my own power, my own ability to get myself to do whatever is necessary.”
Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?
Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it: “Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.
Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”
To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.
“My main ‘Aha’ is being able to articulate my professional value.”
“I can already think of some personal things which are going on with me as well and link them to my professional life.
As a Mentor Kay’s generous and her advice, tips and stories are practical and pragmatic. I know exactly how I’m going to be able to put what I’ve learned into practice.
I think you owe yourself the chance to be able to sit in a room full of like-minded, intelligent women in a non-competitive environment and share your and learn from others’ experiences.”
Pam C. Senior Executive, Global Bank, London and member of ‘The Sparkle Zone’ my on line coaching group for ambitious career women
Pis for Pam and Pertinent, Polished, Profound!
For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.
YOUR 2016 Year End Review & 2017 Planning Guide
Give yourself the gift of YOUR OWN Year-End Review.
It’s easy to just keep going and dive in to 2017 without taking the lessons, messages and developments from your 2016 with you.
I’ve created 2 special 2017 Career-Accelerating tools for you.
1. YOUR 2016 Year-End Review & 2017 Planning Guide. Carefully-crafted questions for you to capture your evolution and developments from 2016. Combine these with a way to plan for what you want in 2017. All together in one nifty, yours-to-keep document.
2. PLUS – NEXT THURSDAY, 19 January 2017, let me show you how to Ask for what you want. Take the goals and clarity you’ve achieved from the Planning Guide and put them into action by learning strategic ways to ask. Not wait, hint and hope. Ask and expect to receive.
I was so honoured to be one of the Guests on a section of Georgie’s popular show “Georgie’s Girls” and whilst I clearly am not a girl, it’s a term of affection for a portion of her show which is along the lines of Loose Women. The part where I’m interviewed is 1 hour 20 minutes in to the show and we had as much fun off air as we did on!
We often underestimate how far we’ve come in all the day-to-day rushing around ‘doing’. I’m much more mindful these days of where I am as opposed to where I was AND where I’m going. It guides me and keeps me grounded in what I’ve achieved rather than always looking for the next ‘goal’. What about you %$firstname$%? Do you notice and acknowledge how far you’ve come?
Let me share a little bit of ‘memory lane’ with you.
I launched my very first eZine in October 2010. It was a bit clunky and certainly less glittery and yet, as I look at it, it was still ‘good to go’. I took a leap long before I was ready and and now, 6 years on and nearly 150 issues later, I haven’t missed one.
It’s truly a commitment to show up and share with you every other week. What are you committing to starting and carrying on in 2017 without faltering or questioning yourself too much %$firstname$%?
Start where you are and, of course, keep going….
Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ‘sell their soul’.
Running her own multiple 6-figure coaching & mentoring business for over 10 years, Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity while being true to themselves.
Kay’s clients learn how to present themselves most effectively at work and to combine strategic, planned career move-making steps with influencing skills. She also teaches compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets around, for example, money, ambition and worthiness. She draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the male-dominated world of London insurance broking. Kay started her career at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own coaching business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.
Hosting an annual 3-day Live Event for corporate career women “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE” Kay encourages and shows women how to be the best, most valuable version of themselves so they’re ready to be paid what their worth and go for what they want with certainty. Crucially too, how to have more ease and more fun as you plan your way forward.
Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com
Living close to London with sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, lots of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside. Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he’s part of the pack.