Positive Linking eZine: January 22, 2016

kay white enewsletter

Volume 126 | 22 January 2016  

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

Well it’s been a definitive, assertive start to 2016 around these parts! Having taken the first week of January to ease into things, a number of things have been presenting themselves including speaking engagements, half-day trainings in organisations, private clients with “Help, I need to make a move at work before I go mad” kind of alerts and – quite a bit of socialising. January is both my sister Claire and my niece Grace’s birthdays. They’re a day apart so it’s been party central for a couple of days this month. Grace being 20 now is something to get used to!

Claire hosted a drinks party and there’s always that sense of anticipation with questions about who will be there, how will it go and have I organised enough food and drinks etc? She needn’t have concerned herself – as we both know %$firstname$%, when you invite close friends who care for you and mix them together and add alcohol, atmosphere and good food, and then simmer in soft lighting, it’s a recipe for success. Being part of Claire’s life for almost all my own life is such a blessing and I can honestly say, being in her life and her being in mine is something I treasure. As we live much closer now and having lost both our parents, we do our best to stretch across and fill the gap. Who else is there now who remembers some of the naughty things we got up to when we were little – and, at times, still do?

This may sound very reflective and deep, if you will, but then sometimes the best things are. It’s easy to skim the surface in your relationships and avoid telling people how much they mean to you isn’t it? Or is it? The magic happens when the connections are strong and that often accelerates when you come forward and tell people how much they mean to you, first. As Brené Brown says in her amazing book Daring Greatly, “Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement.”

Oh and YAY talking of books – I’ve just heard from Audible who globally distribute Audiobooks that my best-selling book The A to Z of Being Understood has just been approved. It’s available to download NOW! It was quite an experience to sit in a recording studio for over 3 days last Summer to read it out aloud (with a few choice words edited out when I stumbled) but I know it will be worth it so, stay tuned for that!

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warmly to you %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™

3-Day LIVE Event 2016

Shall I keep you posted?

If you know you need to step up and accelerate your success at work AND allow yourself to be seen, valued and heard – do be there in 2016. Here’s the date and it will be in London again. Join me LIVE and learn with and from other ambitious, experienced women like you.

AND it may be the FINAL event like this which I host.

If you’ve been thinking about coming ‘some time’ well, this year in June might be your last chance….

>> 9, 10, 11 June 2016.

Here’s where you can let me know you want to be kept in the loop AND receive extra resources in advance.

Oh and below, here’s a quick video showing a little of what happened in March this year and what you’ve got in store in 2016. Take a few moments to see what comes up for ambitious women like you and what happens when you put yourself into an intentional space like this.

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Help People Find You!

Do you show up when you’re trying to be heard %$firstname$%?

How often do you attend a meeting, an event, a conference and this happens? Someone asks a question or requests some information and they don’t give you, the audience, their details.

When it comes to showing up at a networking event or an internal or external meeting, never underestimate the power of this simple strategy. Say your full name, your company and where you’re from.

Obvious when you read it? Yes. A waste of opportunity when you don’t do it? Definitely yes. Why? Well, here’s why and a key example.

As a woman, it’s something we don’t always feel comfortable with. Owning and expressing exactly who we are, where we’re from and then asking or sharing information in a group. It’s often a case of “let me just rattle off what I want to ask and then keep quiet again”. Well, I’m all for keeping things brief and to the point and, I’m also all for leveraging moments of influence.

MagnetWhen you speak up, when you ask a question or offer information, you have a moment of influence – a moment where yours is the only voice sharing or asking and everyone else is listening. You can assume so anyway.

So, why is it that so few women actually position themselves when they go to speak? I’ve lost count of how many times a really good question was asked and no one had a clue what the woman’s name, title or company was. If the facilitator doesn’t invite the woman to say who she is, then she’s lost a valuable moment for follow up and personal profile.

It often goes like this when the floor is open to questions. Let’s use my name and company as an example, so you can get a sense for what I mean about a moment of influence when you have an opportunity to draw people to you.

  • Hi, I work for ABC Ltd and I want to know …. (no personal information)

  • What’s the main reason why …..(no name or anything, just launching at the question)

  • Hi, I work for ABC Ltd and I want to know …. (no professional value-add) information)

Can you see what I mean? It doesn’t have to be you reading your CV out, It’s about just owning the moment and who you are assertively and clearly, along these lines:

  • Hi, I’m Kay White, Founder of Way Forward Solutions, London

  • Thanks, I’m Kay White, Communication Expert for Women In Business, London

  • I’m Kay White, author of The A to Z of Being Understood, London

Kay White Speaking

Now, when you look at the above you could say ‘Oh my, that’s a lot of information’ or ‘don’t you feel like you’re showing off?’ No. It’s all true and, you know what, it actually really helps both you and the audience lean in more closely and be drawn to your question or comment. You’ve positioned yourself and you own what you’re about. No apology. Facts.

This is why it’s so important and why you can miss out on opportunities and quick-routes to what you want.

3 quick observations I’ve actually experienced myself:

  1. If the question wasn’t fully answered, it gives people a way to find you to get in touch.

  2. If, at the networking afterwards, people want to carry on or talk to you about your question or comment, they can approach you knowing your name and information

  3. Who knows who else is noticing who is asking about what – they can find you to discuss further and, of course, give you what you want.

You tell everyone in the room you’re open to being known and in touch and, if you want even more impact in your moment, stand as you ask the question as well – now you’re really talking!

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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Here are a few soundbites from women who learned my secrets about ASKING for what you want at a Live Event I hosted.

I’m hosting a Teleclass this week on HOW to ask more assertively. These women now know! You can still Register here.

  Asking and expecting to receive is not a self centred position. Have had a number of opportunities to ask for outcomes / changes at work this week and almost without connecting it my position was this is what I need how can you make it happen with me and for me – bingo!”

  The model Kay shared is extremely useful and has many applications, I have some ideas in mind to put it into practice.”

  The model was really good and got me thinking about how I ask for things, both business and personal.”

  Kay articulates and demonstrates clearly understandable and practical techniques to build confidence and to guide you to think further about getting a Yes response. Very often business advice doesn’t work in the ‘real world’. Kay’s does.”

See below for how you can learn the structure and give yourself the confidence to ASK.

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A is for Ask, Assert, Aspire

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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2016 Planning Guide & How to Ask!

Give yourself the gift of YOUR OWN Year-End Review.

It’s easy to just keep going and dive in to 2016 without taking the lessons, messages and developments from your 2015 with you. It’s all very well taking part in your organisation’s Year End Reviews. What about You? What about what YOU want, now? Personally as well as professionally.

I’ve created 2 special 2016 Career-Accelerating tools for you.

YOUR 2015 Year-End Review & 2016 Planning Guide. Carefully-crafted questions for you to capture your evolution and developments from 2015. Combine these with a way to plan for what you want in 2016. All together in one nifty, yours-to-keep document.

PLUS – yesterday 21st January 2016 I hosted a Complimentary Teleclass to show you . Take the goals you have and put them into action by learning strategic ways to ask. Not wait, hint and hope. “Why Don’t You Just Ask?”

>>> The ENCORE is happening on Saturday 23rd January and you can still Register and be part of it.

I have a simple and effective structure to share for you to ‘back’ your asks in so it’s easy for people to say YES to you.

All the details are here for you.

As Idina Menzel sings in ‘Let It Go’ from the film Frozen, “It’s time to see what I can do, to test the limits and break through”. It is %$firstname$%.

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My Audiobook is available NOW!

After years of being asked “When are you going to turn your book into an audio book Kay?” I now have!

The interesting thing about making the decision to do this Kay is that when enough people tell you the same thing, pay attention. They’re on to something and see something for you which often you’ve not seen, yet.

You can now access all the information, from A to Z, in your car, on the running machine and – if you’re like me – when you’re walking the dog! The audio is carefully produced with music added and touches of musical fairy dust too.

You can hear me lay out strategies to accelerate connection, say what needs to be said, be more savvy in how you communicate and, crucially, you can hear my tone and intonation behind the messages. The audiobook is here

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite

I love digging in to and considering quotes from other people. They add credibility, another angle and more depth to your own message. This is my ‘Go To’ site. In fact, here’s a quote about Quotes from Ralph Waldo Emerson, if you need convincing.

Every book is a quotation; and every house is a quotation out of all forests, and mines, and stone quarries; and every man is a quotation from all his ancestors.

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About Kay

As a Career Moves Mentor, Kay White works with experienced, ambitious career women from all around the world (and some very smart men) and shows them – with a combination of language and strategic moves – how to get noticed, promoted, valued and rewarded at work.

Kay combines private one-on-one, VIP mentoring with group mentoring, live speaking and hosts her own annual 3-day Live Event ’Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE” in London. She also hosts her weekly Podcast Radio Show downloadable from her site or on iTunes.

Using insights from her own +20 year corporate career, Kay shows her clients how to plan out their next moves in their business or career. She also shows women how ‘accessorise’ and enhance their day-to-day interactions along the way making them more comfortable, compelling and engaging. They boost their income, prospects and attract more lucrative opportunities.

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay is the Author of the international #1 bestseller ‘The A to Z of Being Understood’. She’s also Founder of Way Forward Solutions Ltd, a multiple 6-figure private coaching & mentoring company. With her straightforward and easy manner, Kay regularly features in magazines and publications. She’s a featured expert in GLAMOUR Magazine in “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Playing Hardball” and a regular guest blogger for We Are The City, a hub network and content site for professional women.

During her 20-year corporate career, Kay worked in the City of London and in Paris to Director level as part of a successful, mainly male, fast-paced team of global insurance brokers. Negotiating multi-million pound, industrial property insurance contracts around the world, she learned (often by her own mistakes along the way) how to – and crucially how not to – get heard, valued and noticed, for the right reasons. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Kay and her husband live close to London with their sighthounds, DeeDee & Pharaoh. A lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Find out much more at www.kaywhite.com.

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