Where do I send your free 30-minute audio ‘Do You Have Trouble Saying No?’
to show you how to assert firm boundaries with confidence PLUS your POWER List—over 1,200 words and phrases to add influence to your language and quickly attract attention? ALSO receive more tips in my bi-monthly eZine and unsubscribe at any time.
Positive Linking eZine: January 5, 2018
Volume 165 | 5 January 2018
Hello there %$firstname$%,
So, we’re in 2018 and on the precipice of embracing and getting going in to another year. That’s how it feels to me anyway. After a really intentional slow-down over Christmas and New Year there’s a sense of anticipation, expectation and possibility as we start another year.
Having had our Christmas break by the Suffolk seaside with our extended family (which included 10 humans and 6 hounds) Snowy and I decided that New Year’s Eve was going to be quiet. Really quiet. We literally said we were “pulling up the drawbridge and putting down our backsides”. Three days of quiet pottering, TV (The Crown which we gobbled like a box of chocs) and hanging out together. It’s not always what you think you want – we’d planned to be 6 of us at a restaurant with an Abba themed-dinner – but it’s often what you need when plans change. I suppose with the benefit of a few more grey hairs and laughter lines I’ve learned to hang loose with plans and stay open to what actually happens. Things change, people change their minds and they catch the flu and a myriad of other unexpected developments.
You must notice how people keep banging on about New Year’s Resolutions which is just, in my opinion, an unhelpful and uninspiring phrase. I have a spin on it which I find to be more inspiring, more realistically grounded and achievable – it’s based on your evolution. How you’ve changed, how things have evolved. See what you think below %$firstname$%.
Wishing you and a your family a happy and healthy 2018 full of the things you want and hope for. Go. On. Go. For. It…
Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.
Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,
Let’s connect even more
PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.
YOUR 2017 Year End Review & 2018 Planning Guide
Give yourself the gift of YOUR OWN Year-End Review.
It would be easy to just keep going and dive in to 2018 without taking the lessons, messages and developments from your 2017 with you.
2 special 2018 Career-Accelerating tools for you.
1. YOUR 2017 Year-End Review & 2018 Planning Guide. Carefully-crafted questions for you to capture your evolution and developments from 2017. Combine these with a way to plan for what you want in 2018. All together in one nifty, yours-to-keep document.
This is you giving yourself your own Year End Review – not your company’s, nor your boss’s. Yours %$firstname$%.
2. PLUS – On Thursday 18th in January 2018, let me show you how to Ask for what you want. Take the goals and clarity you’ve achieved from the Planning Guide and put them into action by learning strategic ways to Ask. Not wait, hint and hope. Ask and expect to receive. I’ll be live on the line with you and will open the lines to hear your questions or comments.
It’s like your own personalised, intentional GPS. How do you know where you’re going if you don’t review and understand where you are AND where you’ve been. Let’s do this together. I do this every single year…. personally AND with my Client Groups. Join us by doing it too.
Tweak 2 Letters And Change Everything
Planning 2018 for how and where you are NOW
“Mind your Language” is a great piece of advice, truly mind it. Think about it. Think about the effect it has on you and then on those around you as you use it. As a self-confessed WordNerd it’s one of my passions that my clients really “get” how important the words and phrases are they choose and then use. If you already have a sense you could be more influential, more engaging and inspiring to other people, then changing and updating your ‘script’ transforms the way you connect with people.
A few years ago, I read an article by John La Valle http://www.purenlp.com/ and John is, I believe, a true word-nerd. A real wizard with the use of language and the difference it makes. He wrote an article about changing our New Year’s Resolutions and swapping them for New Year’s Evolutions.
Every year when someone asks me “so Kay, are you making any New Year’s Resolutions?” I take John’s advice and tell them “yes, but I make New Year’s Evolutions”.
Think about the word Resolution – looking in my trusty dictionary, it means “a firm decision to do or not to do something. The action of solving a problem, dispute or contentious matter.”
When you pull it apart, re-solution becomes a solution, redone. You know when you say it there’s a bit of resistance there. Something you should be doing as opposed to something you want to do. Something you’ve tried to do before and are trying to do again.
It’s so common to make a resolution to eat less, exercise more, spend less, save more, work less, be with family more – or sometimes the opposite! You get the idea, though.
Now, think about the word Evolution – When you think of planning and committing to New Year’s Evolutions, there’s a different feel, a different energy about them with that word. Again, from my trusty dictionary “Evolution – the gradual development of something. Current senses stem from a notion of “opening out” and “unfolding” giving a rise to a general sense of development”. Open yourself up to who you are now and what you want, now.
Now with the word Evolution (remember, we only tweaked 2 letters) there’s a more forward motion to it, more of a sense of “Ok, for where I am now and for how I’ve developed now and what I want in my life now, this is what I want for my life in 2018”.
Try putting down 5 New Year’s Evolutions for yourself and before you do, take a moment with these 5 steps to think about how you are “opening out”, “unfolding” and “developing”.
Think about how your life was 2 years ago – at the beginning of 2016 – then think about what’s going on now and how things have evolved for you.
What are the major changes that have happened? (pssst – there will be some major changes, I promise you. It’s one of the few things we can guarantee in life, that things change. We choose how we respond to those changes.)
Next, consider what’s happening in each of these areas of your life – home / work / relationships /career / finances and ask yourself “what do I want to have more of AND less of in these areas now?”
Here’s where your “New Year’s Evolutions” start to form. From where you are now, for the person you are now, for what you’re doing now.
Put down the following words and then finish the sentence at least 5 times “For who I am now and what I want now, in 2018 I will….”.
So, with two letters tweaked your Resolutions have become your 2018 Evolutions. Oh, and even if you don’t think you’ve changed much, around you the landscape will have, you industry, market, colleagues will have. That changes you anyway. How have you evolved though, that’s the question?
As Oprah Winfrey says: “The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be.”
Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?
Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it: “Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.
Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”
To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.
Adrianna H. is a Project Manager in a global energy company. She participated in my small group mentorship ‘Present & Express Your Best, Most Valuable Self in Business’ as she was struggling to be recognised and rewarded at work:
“Kay really delivers on what it says on the tin! Her ability to assimilate information about people and almost provide a diagnostic within one call is truly phenomenal.
There are three R’s that I would use to describe the content of our mentorship alone:
Relevant Always current and cutting edge, Kay incorporates up to date examples, references, people and thought leadership to help build immediate understanding to her concepts.
Rich Her style is absolute class, and her ability to pierce through the surface of her cohorts was at times quite scary. Kay provided some in depth food for thought, asking us to question and confront some of (mine at least) the deepest fears I have carried with me since I started my career. I truly feel transformed without them and it shows in my results day-to-day.
Resonate Time and time again, Kay’s words pop into my mind when I need them. It’s like I have been hypnotised into believing in my own superpowers now – thank you!”
—ADRIANNA H., PROJECT MANAGER, GLOBAL ENERGY COMPANY.
Ais for Adrianna AND for Accomplished, Achievement, Admirable
For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day.
Tweak Your Language & Change Your Responses
As a quick tip to broaden your language and add some spice, depth and variety to it, one of the most useful – and simple – things is to use more of is your Thesaurus! I use mine all the time. Really – all the time.
It sounds so obvious and in some ways antiquated but if you right-click on your mouse on any computer, it will bring up either the Dictionary or the Thesaurus. Just by using this more you’ll get the meaning behind the words you use and may over-use, find others and juice up your language. It’s a big piece of being noticed and of being more engaging to others. And notice how they respond to you differently when you express yourself differently. We get used to saying – and hearing – the same old ‘blah’ language.
As a regular business traveller and – when possible – a pleasure traveller too I always roll, rather than fold my clothes. It works on so many levels.
They take up less room so you can take more things with you, they unroll without fold marks and it’s actually quicker and easier to prepare them for your case. Folding can be fiddly and time-consuming. Rolling is quick and easy. Two great words to recommend something.
Try rolling your clothes %$firstname$%, it really, really works hence it being your savvy style and sparkly soundbite for this Edition.
Snowy didn’t believe me until I rolled his clothes for a whistle stop tour he did to Australia and back in 4 days. He’s a convert now with no crumpled clothes, even if he feels a bit crumpled himself!
Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ‘sell their soul’.
Running her own multiple 6-figure coaching & mentoring business for over 10 years, Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity while being true to themselves.
Kay’s clients learn how to present themselves most effectively at work and to combine strategic, planned career move-making steps with influencing skills. She also teaches compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets around, for example, money, ambition and worthiness. She draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the male-dominated world of London insurance broking. Kay started her career at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own coaching business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.
Comfortable on her feet, Kay regularly hosts Live Events (for 5 years, her annual 3-Day Live Event – Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE – has shown corporate career women how to attract promotion, recognition and rewards, all without selling their souls). Stay tuned for news about a suite of Day of Magic Experience Events.
Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com
Living close to London with rescue sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, much of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside. Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he knows he’s part of the pack.