Positive Linking eZine: July 3, 2015

kay white enewsletter

Volume 113 | 3 July 2015  

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

You know sometimes how you just ‘need to get away’? Well, I know that feeling and so do many of my clients. One of the private VIP mentoring groups I lead ‘Retreated’ together last week and wow, what an experience. A change of scenery is one thing and a break from the routine is part of it and – there’s what comes up when you focus on yourself and others like you. 11 of us came together in a boutique hotel in the countryside and I laid out a buffet of style, strategy, sparkle, community, sharing and true, purposeful introspection. How often do you indulge in and enjoy that for yourself %$firstname$% in corporate life? I know the answer is mainly ‘rarely Kay’.

As well as planning out moves, next steps, angles for promotion and increased visibility and recognition at work, we went and had their colours analysed and some to have them refreshed. We laughed at the fact that one minute we were focusing on their career paths and next savvy steps they’ll be taking and then, later the same day, we were in our underwear together trying on clothes and bling and looking, well, fabulous.

Here we are just before having a private meal together where the conversation flowed way past my planned bedtime! It was magical on so many levels.

Snowy joined us for lunch on the Saturday and said “it was like being with women who’ve come on fire” – it was %$firstname$%. They have, now they’ve really got how personally powerful and valuable they truly are. What about you? See below for a little guidance.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warmly to you %$firstname$%,


Let’s connect even more

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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™ LIVE Event –

Shall I keep you posted?

If you know you need to be there in 2016, here’s the date and it will be in London again.

9, 10, 11 June 2016.

Here’s where you can let me know you want to be kept in the loop AND receive extra resources in advance.

Look at energy, the sparkle, the intentional women who joined me in March this year. Maybe you’ll be one of them next year?

The how will work itself out….. 9, 10, 11 June 2016.

Promotion. Recognition. Rewards.

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Do you show them what you’re made of?

Remember your brilliance so others can reward you for it.

If you’ve ever heard yourself say any of the following, it gives us a sign you’ve forgotten some of the things that you’re really good at or you’ve forgotten some of the key pieces of your career and life journey.

If you ever think these things and then you don’t speak, you’ll know you’re undervaluing yourself or being undervalued or underselling yourself.

  • “I want to be taken more seriously”

  • “I’m often treated like a secretary rather than a director”

  • “I end up undercutting myself – I give people a price for my services or the salary I want and then I undercut myself and backtrack or apologise”

Are you able to hear one or more things you’ve either said or thought in there? I can promise you I’ve heard these phrases so many times in different formats, in different ways and places. I know just like I’m sure you do, that it’s because that person saying those things doesn’t own or express the value, the importance, the difference that their work makes. So, by definition, other people don’t appreciate it, feel how they value it or how valuable it is. how they think about it. It also tells me that they don’t recognise it for themselves. And by definition, they don’t recognise or ‘market’ their worth. Aha.

Now, I never really like to think about marketing myself but, let’s be honest – you do need to be offering yourself and putting yourself forward in the workplace. Showing people what you’re about. So, try this.

If you want to think about it in a marketing sense, think about a four-bedroom house an estate agent is selling and one of the bedrooms is being used as a study. If you’re going to try sell the house, you have to turn that study-style bedroom into a bedroom again because people will look at your house and value it as a three-bedroom house with a study rather than what it is that you’re truly offering which is a four-bedroom house.

They kind of know it on one level, but one of the bedrooms is a study and they’re not seeing it as a four-bedroom house. They have to see it. And an estate agent said to me, “Never underestimate how people need to be shown that fourth bedroom rather than have to imagine it or be told about it.”

It’s the same with you and me.

Never underestimate or assume people get how special and valuable what you do really is. They have to see it or experience it or have it shown to them. Clearly. Don’t assume they can see it for you. They rarely can.

Show them what you’re made of. You owe it to yourself. Why wouldn’t you maximise the opportunities which are so close sometimes you don’t see them? If you help others see your value, they help guide you towards the opportunities too.

My ex-colleague James saw my gifts more clearly than I did and guided me on to the path to where I am now. He asked if I’d heard of coaching back in 2005 when it was virtually unheard of here in the UK. He said I’d always been approachable, smart-thinking, curious and able to connect with people quickly. He guided me to take that first step to what I’m doing now. Pay attention to what people see for you. It’s often pure gold!

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, we’re always interested to hear from you. Please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right)

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Nick Wharmby of Wharmby Agencies Ltd and I worked privately together on his next moves. After setting up and running a successful +£20million business for over 30 years Nick felt he’d come to a cross-roads and was ready to take stock and see where he could really add value next. So – as a smart and open-to-change man – Nick took a leap of faith!

“Kay and I worked through the areas in question – worked on strengths and weaknesses as well as hopes and aspirations– and gradually came to some conclusions. Working privately with Kay was a great way of starting to look at what I was doing – and what I wanted to do going forward – and we uncovered some things I hadn’t thought of to consider. She’s intuitive, firm and really listens.

What surprised me was the ease with which I could go through the thought process with her and the suitability of the conclusions drawn to my lifestyle and what I want to do going forward. Go me!”

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N is for Nick and: Natural, Nurture, Natty-dresser!

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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People / Places / Products

Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard Podcast

Each week you can pick up tips, steps, strategies and mindsets from my snappy podcast “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard”.

They’re designed to give you instant ideas, tips and you can listen on the move, on the train or – as a client does – when swimming! They’re downloaded by women from the UK to Australia, from Vietnam to Venezuela.

If I can give you something which will help you straight away, wherever you are, an insight or a tip or two on something you’re struggling with at work, just drop a note here to support@kaywhite.com. I’ll look at crafting a podcast for you to help in the coming weeks.

You know me. I believe in asking for what I want. You?

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Do you know (or are you yourself) a Rising Star?

WeAreTheCity, the women’s networking hub based here in London and founded by Vanessa Vallely (see above) are looking for nominees for their Rising Star Awards. There are several categories across several industries to nominate (or nominate yourself) someone you see as a Rising Star. I have already nominated 3. Closing date for nominations: Friday, July 3rd, 2015.

The woman must be someone making a difference, going the extra mile and not yet be in the management tier.

Have a look at what it’s all about here and take the time if you have someone in mind. You might just make her year!

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The Practicing Mind

The Practicing Mind is an easy read reminder of enjoying the process of learning and being present in the process, not always seeking to get to the goal. I interviewed the Author, Tom Sterner for one of my mentoring groups – The Sparkle Zone – and Tom’s as fascinating a speaker as he is a writer. We used his book as our Bookclub Month book with every member of the group of over 40 receiving a copy so we could discuss it. A number of clients have taken it into their organisations to share the principles of the book.

The idea that we’re so focused on the goal we forget to enjoy being in the process is such an inspiring one. It frees you to be present and ever-present to learning and not ‘waiting’ until the goal to enjoy getting there. Have you got a practicing mind %$firstname$%?

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Move your mood with music!

Remember the power of music when you’re stuck, frustrated or just feeling a bit plain ‘meh’.

DancerA woman asked me what I do to pick myself up or motivate myself when I’m a bit down or stuck, especially as I work from home without a team around me.

My instinctive answer was ‘play loud dance music very loudly’. And it’s true %$firstname$%, I do.

When I’ve either had a long stretch of concentrated silence, back-to-back client mentoring sessions or just a day when I feel a bit low-key, I put on music – loudly – and it lifts me, virtually instantly. It’s easily underestimated. 

As I said this to the audience when I was asked about what it is I listen to, I’ve got two instant Oldies but Goldies ‘go to’ tracks.

Sandstorm by Darude if I want move-me music without singing and then it’s Good Feeling by Flo-rida if I want to sing it out too.

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About Kay

About Kay White

Kay White works with experienced business women from all around the world (and some very smart men) and shows them – with a combination of language and strategic moves – how to own, position and speak of their value so their income, opportunities and confidence naturally increases. Kay combines private one-on-one, VIP mentoring with group mentoring, speaking and hosts her annual 3-day Live Event ’Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE”. She also hosts her weekly podcast radio show downloadable from her site or on iTunes.

Using insights from her own +20 year corporate career, Kay shows her clients how to plan out their next moves in their business or career. She also shows women how ‘accessorise’ and enhance their day-to-day interactions along the way making them more comfortable, compelling and engaging. They boost their income, prospects and attract more lucrative opportunities as a result as Kay shows her clients how to add true, personal sparkle. Both to themselves and to what they say.

Working with Kay, her clients discover how to be confident, assertive, attract and keep attention and then ask for and get what they want. It’s a learnable skill to ask for what you want, to persuade, influence and get other people engaged and into action – both in writing and face-to-face. Kay’s developed step-by-step systems for her clients to learn, follow and use the steps every day and everywhere.

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay is the Author of the international #1 bestseller ‘The A to Z of Being Understood’ and Founder of Way Forward Solutions Ltd, a multiple 6-figure private company. Kay annually hosts a 3-day Live Event in London for professional women: Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE. With her straightforward and easy manner, Kay regularly features in magazines and publications. She’s a featured expert in GLAMOUR Magazine in “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Playing Hardball” and a regular guest blogger for We Are The City, a hub network and content site for professional women.

During her 20-year corporate career, Kay worked in the City of London and in Paris to Director level as part of a successful, mainly male, fast-paced team of global insurance brokers. Negotiating multi-million pound, industrial property insurance contracts around the world, she learned (often by her own mistakes along the way) how to – and crucially how not to – get heard, valued and noticed, for the right reasons. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Kay and her husband live close to London with their 3 rescue sighthounds. A lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Find out much more at www.kaywhite.com.

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