Positive Linking eZine: June 16, 2017

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Volume 153 |  16 June 2017 

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

It’s easy isn’t it? Easy to forget we were a 5 year old once upon a time. “Oh for goodness sake grow up” and “Act your age and not your shoe size” etc. These kind of phrases directed at people to behave differently and, of course, being a grown up, as it were, comes with responsibilities, choices, decisions and the expectation of behaving in a certain way. What I realised recently is how easy it is to forget to allow the child in yourself to come out! And this week is my birthday too so even more appropriate as a reminder to us both.

Grace, my 21-year old niece, and I had lunch together earlier this week and then we went on to pick up my 8-year old Goddaughter Beatrice from school. We had some time to play with so, we decided to play with it. We played Hopscotch in the playground and spent some time on the swings in the little park nearby. It was fun and really funny at the same time. It would have been easy to have just sat and chatted on a bench, all grown up.

Here’s the thing %$firstname$% and this is what I know to be true. When you lose that child-like fun side to yourself – your practical joker, the person who giggles when someone trips (even though you know you shouldn’t) or who plays Pictionary instead of Chess or scrolling on their phone – when you lose that side of yourself you tend to take things so seriously. You can forget to see the funny side or you use language which people roll their eyes at.

I worked with a client who spoke in Corporate BS. No other way to describe it and apologies if it makes you wince. All I know is I was bored listening to her and I was being paid to listen to her. Imagine her team, her colleagues, her clients. Let me show you below what we did instead and what difference it made. Next time someone says to you “Oh grow up %$firstname$%” you can say “Yes, and maybe I don’t want to be grown up all the time”…

Remember %$firstname$%, always be true to yourself – no one else can be the unique, one-off, multi-faceted person you are! No one.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™

3-Day LIVE Event 2017

Registration opens in 14 days…

If you know you need to step up and accelerate your success at work AND allow yourself to be seen, valued and heard – do be there in October. Here’s the date and it will be in London again. Join me LIVE and learn with and from other ambitious, experienced women like you.

AND it will be the FINAL Event in this formation I host. 

If you’ve been thinking about coming ‘some time’ well, this year in OCTOBER will be your last chance….

>> 5, 6, 7 October 2017.

Here’s where you can let me know you want to be kept in the loop AND receive extra resources in advance.

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Be a 5 year old again. I dare you.

A quick question to get to the heart of what’s going on.

This was one of a few key questions I asked a group of CEOs and senior directors I worked with recently as we focused on communicating with influence. This question, as basic as it sounds, really helps people boil down what’s actually going on and separate it from the “stuff”. It’s one of the secrets of great communication – keeping things simple.

Here’s the question. “If I was only 5 years old and you had to explain this to me, what’s going on?

It took quite a bit of head-scratching (and a few laughs too) to translate some of the expressions below into a 5 year old’s language.

Confusion and unease – not to mention boredom – is often the main result of rambling on using a combination of too much detail AND corporate “gobbledygook” or BS. Listeners/readers tune out, switch off and often miss vital bits of information as it’s wrapped up in “blah” language – which actually confuses the person saying/writing it too!

We worked with the KISS principle – Keep It Simple and Straightforward. Leonardo de Vinci himself said “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication” and it’s true. Anyone you think of as a great speaker or inspiring leader communicates in simple, clear, accessible language as much as possible. Translating the “blah” language when they can.

Encouraging clients to use clearer and more “down-to-earth” language, as part of their day-to-day emails/presentations/meeting messages is just as important. This is one of the questions I often ask to get clients to the nub of what’s going on. You build it up from there but it gets you to the core of the message. If you don’t have a 5 year old in your life to use as a reference, remember you were a 5-year old yourself.

We worked on the following expressions together and we came up with a variety of translations for a 5 year old to understand:

  • Key Performance Indicators (ways of being able to tell how you’re getting on)

  • Optimisation (making the best of things)

  • Strategic implementation (doing things we’ve said we will do in our plan)

  • Blue-sky thinking (having big, different ideas)

Once you’ve boiled the message down to this 5 year old sort of language you can then start building it up a bit BUT still keep the essence in there.

The group all agreed that the corporate “lingo” is necessary at times – legal language, corporate messages that are already being used – but to use the “if I were 5, what’s going on?” or “if I were 5, what are we talking about?” with your colleagues, team – even clients is a really powerful question. Trust me.

I asked this question to a recently-promoted Director when she was gradually going cross-eyed trying to explain the twists and turns in a story about her team. Along the lines of “the KPIs are all being missed because no-one’s interacting in a strategic way and we’re out of alignment because there’s unrest amongst the troops”. Crikey. “Excuse me, if I were 5 years old, what’s going on?” I actually said that.

After looking at me with a combination of shock and bemusement, she had to sit for a while to be able to boil this down. I said “I don’t understand KPIs, strategy, corporate stuff ‘cos I’m only 5”.

Finally, after quite a lot of head-scratching, we knew what was going on. She told me “some naughty people are playing some nasty games ‘cos they think we’re going to take their toys away”. NOW you’re talking. Now we can brainstorm ideas together.

  • Try this question.

  • Try it on yourself if no-one else and, I dare you…

  • Try it with your colleagues/team/clients

You’ll help yourself AND your colleagues to get to the core of what’s going on, and you can start to understand together from the same place.

If you need any more encouragement, try some from Albert Einstein “Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler”.

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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Sarah is a Business Development Manager at a UK University who recently put together a 2-day suite of workshops for a group of public sector senior executives and CEOs. Sarah was very much involved in ensuring the content was, as she said “high end” as the participants had particularly high expectations of getting value for their time away from their desks. Green Men

Delivering and designing the Masterclass for Sarah’s clients entitled “Communicating with Influence in the Public Sector” Sarah gives the following feedback:

“Having participated in this workshop myself I highly recommend Kay – I learned a lot and came away with tools and ideas to use straight away to help me communicate more clearly, effectively and influentially.

We received excellent feedback from the participants following Kay’s Executive Masterclass – some saying it was one of the highlights of the two days with us.

Kay is an engaging, credible and creative facilitator, who really knows her stuff – she’s also good fun!”

If you’d like to discuss if or how I can contribute at your Organisation with a Masterclass on Presenting or Communication with Impact & Influence, do get in touch with Caroline Humphries, my Client Concierge. caroline@kaywhite.com. I’m always open to seeing if we’re a fit for supporting you and your colleagues.

Kay's Owl

S is for Sarah – with her savvy, subtle, skillset.

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day.

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Keep Calm & Say The Tough Stuff

Do you tippy toe around people and end up getting tongue-tied and frustrated when you have a sensitive situation and should be addressing things head on?

Are you fed up of being at everyone’s beck and call and know you’re either too flexible or easy-going OR scared to say what needs to be said?

So many women are %$firstname$% and that’s why I’ve created a BRAND NEW Teleclass I’m bringing to you on Wednesday, 28th June at 8pm UK / 3pm EST.

“How On Earth Do I Tell Them THAT?”

Let me show you how to address those tricky situations which can have you fretting at night, so you say what needs to be said, assert yourself and your opinion AND maintain your composure and the relationship at the same time.

Here’s where you can Register for the call AND the Handy Handout which comes with it.

One of my gifts is breaking things down into manageable, understandable and implementable chunks. I have 7 Steps to share with you which spell the word ‘RESPECT’. No more hiding out for you or missing out on things because others who speak louder or push themselves forward get the glory.

Be assertive, considered AND respectful and still get what you want. Let me show you have to make ‘saying the tough stuff’ easier for you.

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite

Back Up (Your Computer Hard drive)

It’s so easy to think you’ll be OK and that you’ve got nothing to worry about. I learned the hard way a few years ago that my hard drive needs regularly backing up.

When I think of the precious intellectual property I’ve created over the years, let alone the thousands of photos I have on my various machines, I must have been mad to have just assumed all was always OK.

Having had a coffee blowout all over my Dell at the time, since 2010 I’ve regularly backed up my Mac in 2 different ways and one of them outside of my home office.

When I worked in the insurance industry, we used to say buying extra insurance cover was investing in ’stronger underwear’ or ‘a belt and braces’ and it is %$firstname$%.

Why would you want to ‘go Commando’ when it involves your precious data, musings, photos and information.

Back. It. Up.

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About Kay

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ‘sell their soul’.

Running her own multiple 6-figure coaching & mentoring business for over 10 years, Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity while being true to themselves.

Kay’s clients learn how to present themselves most effectively at work and to combine strategic, planned career move-making steps with influencing skills. She also teaches compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets around, for example, money, ambition and worthiness. She draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the male-dominated world of London insurance broking. Kay started her career at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own coaching business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Hosting an annual 3-day Live Event for corporate career women “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE” Kay encourages and shows women how to be the best, most valuable version of themselves so they’re ready to be paid what their worth and go for what they want with certainty. Crucially too, how to have more ease and more fun as you plan your way forward.

Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com

Living close to London with rescue sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, much of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside. Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he knows he’s part of the pack.

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