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Positive Linking eZine: June 2, 2017
Volume 152 | 2 June 2017
Hello there %$firstname$%,
Well, gracious me – here we are in June already! Mid-year and here we’re gearing up for Summer.
Recently I’ve been very much ‘up close and personal’ with clients having hosted both a one-day Event on presenting and then, the week after, hosting a 3-day Live Retreat for my Golden Circle Mastermind clients. Phew! It was exhilarating and exhausting but mainly exhilarating. There’s nothing like being in the same space with people – virtual works of course it does and yet, seeing the whites of each other’s eyes, sharing from the heart and soul because of the trust and connection, that is like nothing else.
During the Central London Retreat, as well as dedicated Mastermind time focussed on everyone’s career developments and ambitions, we also had our Retreat Treat. We went to see ‘Beautiful’ which is the Carole King story using her prolific writing and singing catalogue. It was stunning and we all cried and laughed at the same time.
We learned that Carole often said “yes” before she was ready – something I encourage my clients to do – and she also trusted herself to produce the music she loved and believed in (and didn’t take any notice of those who said her music was “fluffy”). She had the last laugh winning countless awards and being one of the most successful singer songwriters of all time. Go Carole!
So, if you know to your toes you’re good at something which you love to do, you owe it to yourself to follow your instinct and get up and personal with those who want to see you succeed. Not the naysayers. Focus where you’re wanted. As I’ve learned in my own business, what you do and dedicate yourself to has to light you up otherwise it’s all too much like hard work…
Remember %$firstname$%, always be true to yourself – no one else can be the unique, one-off, multi-faceted person you are! No one.
Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.
Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,
Let’s connect even more
PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.
Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™
3-Day LIVE Event 2017
Shall I keep you posted?
If you know you need to step up and accelerate your success at work AND allow yourself to be seen, valued and heard – do be there in 2017. Here’s the date and it will be in London again. Join me LIVE and learn with and from other ambitious, experienced women like you.
AND it will be the FINAL Event in this formation I host.
If you’ve been thinking about coming ‘some time’ well, this year in OCTOBER will be your last chance….
There’s no substitute for the ‘LIVE’ or personalised version of You
It’s easy to get lulled into this false sense of reality isn’t it?
Instead of picking up the phone to speak to someone, you drop them an email or send them a message or a text. Instead of dropping someone a note, you can instant message, Skype message or send them an eCard. Instead of going to a networking event, social gathering, exhibition or event, you can show up online. All of these ways of being in touch, of showing up on the radar, are virtually instant and take very little effort. They work too, to an extent. There’s also a darker side too, a sense of disconnectedness.
What I also know to be true is this. There is nothing like being there in-person, in-the-room and pressing the flesh with other people. The energy, the sense of connectedness, the opportunity to take yourself out of your environment and put yourself in another, all adds to the mix and what comes out of that is so very different than being ‘virtual’.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m the first to enjoy, leverage and actively revel in all the gizmos and ways of working with people virtually. It’s something I’ve come to love about working in this ‘small world’ way. Working with a client who was based in Melbourne and mentoring her to navigate herself successfully to a promotion proved the point. We never met and are unlikely to.
What is often underestimated though is how disconnected we can feel and be perceived, when we take ourselves, our personalised selves, out of the mix too much and too regularly – often without necessarily being conscious of it.
Let me ask you a few quick questions.
Have you ever emailed someone who’s in the same room/office as you because you can’t face or make time to go across and speak to them?
Have you ever emailed someone instead of calling them as an easy ‘get out’?
Have you ever texted someone a ‘round robin’ Thank You note instead of either calling or writing them a personal note?
Do you find yourself sending an ‘Apologies’ meeting alert rather than calling the person to say you can’t attend?
Have you ever wished you’d met up with someone in person sooner rather than wasting time going back/forth on email?
I know, like me, some – or all – of your answers will be a ‘Yes’. I ask myself, just before sending an email or text, is this the best way to be in touch today?
Clients constantly tell me that they can’t “get people to do what they want them to” or they struggle to get people to respond to them. When pressed, it’s often because they lack connection with the other person/s. That’s where the secret of ‘pressing the flesh’ or personalising can change things in an instant.
You don’t have to spend your life bouncing around the world on planes or being so busy going to meetings or writing notes you never give yourself time to implement or think. No, of course not. I don’t either.
Here are a few starters for you if you decide to show up ‘personally’ more than you are.
When you go to email someone, pick up the phone and call instead. Even if you leave a voicemail and send an email afterwards, you connected, you made the effort. They hear your ‘real life’ voice. It means something, to them.
Instead of sending an RSVP by email – call or drop a personal, hand-written note instead. Your voice, your writing all counts more as you being ‘in person’.
When you look at an invitation and think “No, too busy” – just ask yourself “How can I make it work so I can go?” so you let people see you and be with you, even for some of the time if not all of it, as you with them.
When you do decide to show up in person, instead of hanging with people you know, challenge yourself to meet and greet at least 5 people you’ve never met before. You only have to be open to asking them a few questions and, off you go!
When you’re with other people, be more interested in them, rather than being interested in them being interested in you. That’s where the true magic is – they magically become more interested in you anyway – aha!
Daniel Goleman who wrote the transformational – and much quoted – book ‘Emotional Intelligence’ says “When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection – or compassionate action.”
I believe he’s right. A big piece of that is coming forward to make a personalised – not impersonalised – connection. Go on, I dare you.
Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?
Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.
Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”
To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.
HELENA C., FINANCIAL SERVICES LAWYER, LONDON
“Learning about personal power, strategy and sparkle is a unique and winning formula for your career.”
“I love the fact that the focus is on communication in a number of forms; not just the spoken, but the impression one gives as a whole. I took so much away from Kay’s ‘Sparkle’ Event. What Kay shared with her strategies and stories has given me loads more confidence to put my point across in meetings, say ‘Yes’ before I’m ready, understand my worth and I’ve even given 3 client presentations (something I really used to struggle with or avoid completely).
The fact that Kay encourages women to be women and not to deny our “sparkly” side is also a major bonus – I learned why you MUST bring yourself to your work and how to stand strong in who and how you are. Recently I had the best appraisal I could have hoped for.
I’m still in contact with a lot of the women and we’ve all seen massive changes and developments in our lives thanks to what we learnt.
Too many events take on the ‘Grey Corporate image’ but it’s so refreshing – and vital – to have the opportunity to attend a much more “colourful” event which is no less professional for it. The amazing combination of learning about true personal power, strategy and sparkle from Kay and her speakers is a unique and winning formula for your career.”
Ps. Helena negotiated a career move soon after attending the Live Event. She also started speaking on stages big and small when she used to shy away from speaking opportunities. I wonder what you might dare yourself to do when you put yourself in our inspiring, safe and motivational Event space. Find out on 5, 6, 7 October!
His for Helena – and also for Healthy, Holistic, Hands-on
For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day.
His first book “The War of Art” surfaced the spectre of resistance. Resistance, according to Steven Pressfield is a force stopping us from doing our work, from stepping up, from claiming our space. Resistance – meaning to struggle, battle, confront – stops you in your tracks. Stops you from doing ‘your’ work. I know it when I come up against my own.
This book is about the difference between the amateur and the pro – the professional. The amateur tries, thinks about, does a bit, stops. The pro does it. Keeps doing it, keeps showing up to do the work. Rain or shine. Feeling good or feeling crappy. Keeps going.
Steven’s style is confronting, honest and if you – like so many women – know you hold yourself back, then let this book give you the swift ‘kick in the pants’ we all need sometimes. I know I do. Health Warning: He does ‘Eff and Jeff’ in the book and, it’s intentional. It’s a wake up call. I read this book annually. It gives the kick in the backside which I sometimes need too.
Or, put another way – pause, breathe, re-group, beat your resistance and keep going. I promise you %$firstname$%, I had my own big resistance moments crafting my live 3-day event AND the 2nd time around, even more so – there was more at stake. And, I remembered the need to push through the resistance and tell myself “just keep going”. So I have…
And if you need further reassurance %$firstname$%, here’s what Oprah has to say:
“The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.”
Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite
Wear your name badge where it can be seen!
Simple and so effective. When you go to an Event, a networking evening, a meeting and a name badge is given to you, which side do you pin it? If you’re like me – and most other people – you’ll normally pin it on your left side. I did until someone told me this simple step.
Pin it on your right-hand side instead. Just below your shoulder on your right. Why? Because when you extend your hand to greet someone and introduce yourself, their eyes are naturally heading towards your right shoulder, which is also naturally heading towards them. They can immediately see your name and hear your name at the same time. It’s easier for them to remember your name.
Aha, see. I told you it was simple and effective and %$firstname$% by helping other people to remember your name, it simply helps you to stay on their radar assuming, of course, you want to.
Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ‘sell their soul’.
Running her own multiple 6-figure coaching & mentoring business for over 10 years, Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity while being true to themselves.
Kay’s clients learn how to present themselves most effectively at work and to combine strategic, planned career move-making steps with influencing skills. She also teaches compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets around, for example, money, ambition and worthiness. She draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the male-dominated world of London insurance broking. Kay started her career at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own coaching business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.
Hosting an annual 3-day Live Event for corporate career women “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE” Kay encourages and shows women how to be the best, most valuable version of themselves so they’re ready to be paid what their worth and go for what they want with certainty. Crucially too, how to have more ease and more fun as you plan your way forward.
Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com
Living close to London with rescue sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, much of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside. Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he knows he’s part of the pack.