Positive Linking eZine: June 5, 2015

kay white enewsletter

Volume 111 | 5 June 2015  

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

Well, the word is ‘gratitude’ for me at the moment. So many things have been brought sharply into focus recently. In the last couple of weeks we’ve been told that our first ‘master hound’ Bolly has an inoperable mass in his tummy. Instead of having a low-chance-of-success operation, we’ve opted to let it play out. As a hound nearly 14 years old, all the time he has quality of life and is skipping about swimming and chasing squirrels and crows, the show must go on. I’m grateful for this time to really see and appreciate him as he buzzes about. Who knows for how long?

I’ve decided to take time each week for ‘Whatever’ and having been pedal to the metal with my business since 2010, give myself some time out. What’s interesting is how my business is ticking over nicely and that rather than pedalling all the time, things are coming to me instead. With half-term last week I popped over to see my niece and nephew and took them out for lunch. The next day I took my 6 year old god daughter Bea out for tea with the hounds and she was so gentle and kind with Bolly it made me teary.

It’s interesting isn’t it %$firstname$%. We know it intellectually but don’t always learn the lesson. Nothing is a given. Having had pneumonia recently (and still having a cough with an x-ray showing traces of it still) I’m reminded of a phrase a friend said to me, “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, which is why they call it the present”.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you to reflect and show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warmly to you,


Let’s connect even more

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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™ LIVE Event –

Shall I keep you posted?

If you know you need to be there in 2016, here’s the date and it will be in London again.

9, 10, 11 June 2016.

Here’s where you can let me know you want to be kept in the loop AND receive extra resources in advance.

Look at energy, the sparkle, the intentional women who joined me in March this year. Maybe you’ll be one of them next year?

The how will work itself out….. 9, 10, 11 June 2016.

Promotion. Recognition. Rewards.

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The Power of an Intentional Pause

It’s underestimated and strategic

I don’t know about you but it’s easy to find yourself on a ‘gabbling to no-where’. That’s a phrase a client used recently and it’s spot on for what can happen when you don’t give yourself time to breathe and – most importantly – it gives the other person time to process and really hear – what you’re saying.

Pausing is a great way for you to calm down, to consider what you’re actually saying and – as I call it – to really land your message. The pause is so key in fact, instead of it being something you suddenly remember to do try to make a powerful, purposeful pause part of your conversations.

There are so many benefits to slowing down. We can find ourselves gabbling and thinking as we speak when we’re not prepared or when we’re nervous. When we’re in the workplace where we’re really trying to land a message and get our point across, the power of pause is multifunctional. Let me explain.

  • It makes you regulate your breathing, you stop – take a breath, look around – if you have to, count to say 3 and then keep going.

  • It helps others keep up and – often – keep awake. It’s very easy to tune you out when everything merges together – giving your speech pauses and then, interspersing them with checking in phrases like “any questions so far?” or “what thoughts do you have so far %$firstname$%?” which also help calm you and show you that you actually care about the other person’s experience and it buys you time. Time to consider the route the conversation is going, time to gather your thoughts and take on feedback AND time to slow you pace of speech down if you know you speak – as so may women do – too quickly.

  • Taking a deep breath or just a breath itself gives you so many benefits – more oxygen helps your brain be more nimble – it helps you regulate your tone. I often take a sip of water, for example, not because I’m thirsty but because it’s a pause, it slows me down, it allows me, as it will you, those all important few seconds to consider what comes next.

You see here’s the thing – when you pause and make pausing part of your conversation, you appear more in control, more considered, calmer, more certain and these are all traits which point to leadership and responsibility rather than just a list-ticker.

If you want to hear me share more on this subject, head over to Podcast 17 of my weekly Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard podcast on either iTunes or my website.

Or put another way, “The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.” – Mark Twain

I’d love to hear what you think and if and how you use pausing as a part of your conversation. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, we’re always interested to hear from you. Please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right)

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Christine attended my March Event and was brought by her friend. Little did she know what was going to happen!

The Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard Event was a catalyst for me and spurred me on to look at my career and make the changes I’d been thinking of for some time but hadn’t the courage or the circumstances. As a result I’ve applied for a position recently, was successful and they’ve offered me the post with a salary of £5,000 above the upper limit.

My flabber was gasted, as they say. Thank you again Kay for the part you’ve played in enabling me to own my life and drive my own bus”. Christine H. Senior Exec, UK Government

Kay's Owl

C is for Christine and also for Confidence, Clarity, Chutzpah

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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People / Places / Products

Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard Podcast

Each week you can pick up tips, steps, strategies and mindsets from my snappy podcast “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard”.

They’re designed to give you instant ideas, tips and you can listen on the move, on the train or – as a client does – when swimming! They’re downloaded by women from the UK to Australia, from Vietnam to Venezuela.

If I can give you something which will help you straight away, wherever you are, an insight or a tip or two on something you’re struggling with at work, just drop a note here to support@kaywhite.com. I’ll look at crafting a podcast for you to help in the coming weeks.

You know me. I believe in asking for what I want. You?

Do you know (or are you yourself) a Rising Star?

WeAreTheCity, the women’s networking hub based here in London are looking for nominees for their Rising Star Awards. There are several categories across several industries to nominate (or nominate yourself) someone you see as a Rising Star. I have already a number on my list.

The woman must be someone making a difference, going the extra mile and not yet be in the management tier.

Have a look at what it’s all about here and take the time if you have someone in mind. You might just really make their year!

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Post A Note!

I always have in my handbag, or purse, a few sticky Post-It Notes! When you’re on the move, when you want to just pop a note on someone’s door or desk they’re so handy. I’ve left Post-It Notes on people’s windscreens to say “Hello” when I recognise their car, on my own bag or front door to remind me to do something or ask something.

It’s so simple %$firstname$% and, unlike just a slip of paper from your notebook, the stickiness means it doesn’t get lost. It’s more difficult for the person to ignore. As you know, I’m all about getting your message across and being heard.

Even though my handbag can be known as ‘Pandora’s Handbag’ i.e. who knows what’s in there for what occasion, this little sparkly and sticky tip pays off time and again.

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About Kay

About Kay White

Kay White works with experienced business women from all around the world (and some very smart men) and shows them – with a combination of language and strategic moves – how to own, position and speak of their value so their income, opportunities and confidence naturally increases. Kay combines private one-on-one, VIP mentoring with group mentoring, speaking and hosts her annual 3-day Live Event ’Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE”. She also hosts her weekly podcast radio show downloadable from her site or on iTunes.

Using insights from her own +20 year corporate career, Kay shows her clients how to plan out their next moves in their business or career. She also shows women how ‘accessorise’ and enhance their day-to-day interactions along the way making them more comfortable, compelling and engaging. They boost their income, prospects and attract more lucrative opportunities as a result as Kay shows her clients how to add true, personal sparkle. Both to themselves and to what they say.

Working with Kay, her clients discover how to be confident, assertive, attract and keep attention and then ask for and get what they want. It’s a learnable skill to ask for what you want, to persuade, influence and get other people engaged and into action – both in writing and face-to-face. Kay’s developed step-by-step systems for her clients to learn, follow and use the steps every day and everywhere.

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay is the Author of the international #1 bestseller ‘The A to Z of Being Understood’ and Founder of Way Forward Solutions Ltd, a multiple 6-figure private company. Kay annually hosts a 3-day Live Event in London for professional women: Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE. With her straightforward and easy manner, Kay regularly features in magazines and publications. She’s a featured expert in GLAMOUR Magazine in “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Playing Hardball” and a regular guest blogger for We Are The City, a hub network and content site for professional women.

During her 20-year corporate career, Kay worked in the City of London and in Paris to Director level as part of a successful, mainly male, fast-paced team of global insurance brokers. Negotiating multi-million pound, industrial property insurance contracts around the world, she learned (often by her own mistakes along the way) how to – and crucially how not to – get heard, valued and noticed, for the right reasons. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Kay and her husband live close to London with their 3 rescue sighthounds. A lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Find out much more at www.kaywhite.com.

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