Positive Linking eZine: March 10, 2017

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Volume 148 |  10 March 2017 

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

Well – there’s what you expect and then there’s what happens! Just over 2 weeks ago I performed LIVE and in person for the first time ever on stage and with a band as a drummer! I’ve been learning the drums for just over a year and only really got focussed when I said “Yes” to being the guest drummer in a band. I played one track in a live set in front of 300 people – quite an introduction to live gigs wasn’t it %$firstname$%?

I learned so much by doing this and not only the track I played – Whiskey In The Jar by Metallica. The band were really supportive and excited to have me there, friends and clients came along to support me and – more than anything – I had a brilliant time. The nerves I may have had seemed to melt away as soon as I started playing and whilst it wasn’t ‘perfect’ and I missed a few drum fills (only my drum teacher Neil and I really noticed!) AND I loved every moment.

It would have been so easy to say “Oh No, I can’t do that” because when I was asked, I couldn’t. But saying “Yes” before you’re ready makes you get ready. I’ve already been asked if I’d be a guest drummer with another band and I’ve said “yes” to that too.

Do you do that? Dare yourself to do something you know you can’t – yet – and then get on and get ready. If you don’t, I do recommend it to you. When the lead singer, John, said to me “now you’ve tasted blood, what are you going to do?” which isn’t a phrase I’d use, I knew what he meant though. “Keep going” is what I said.

Learning to play the drums in my 50s has given me a special, secret sauce – something a bit different to talk about and to stretch my mind on. We have many secret sauces which make us who we are. See below about looking closely at what yours might be.

Remember %$firstname$%, always be true to yourself – no one else can be the unique, one-off, multi-faceted person you are! No one.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™

3-Day LIVE Event 2017

Shall I keep you posted?

If you know you need to step up and accelerate your success at work AND allow yourself to be seen, valued and heard – do be there in 2017. Here’s the date and it will be in London again. Join me LIVE and learn with and from other ambitious, experienced women like you.

AND it may be the FINAL event like this which I host.

If you’ve been thinking about coming ‘some time’ well, this year in June might be your last chance….

>> 5, 6, 7 October 2017.

Here’s where you can let me know you want to be kept in the loop AND receive extra resources in advance.

Oh and below, here’s a quick video showing a little of what happened in March this year and what you’ve got in store in 2016. Take a few moments to see what comes up for ambitious women like you and what happens when you put yourself into an intentional space like this.

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What’s your “unfair” advantage (and do you even know about it)?

StarWorking with career women keen to raise their visibility and influence at work, this is one of the first places I start with them. “Let’s find your unfair advantage or your Secret Sauce” I say. I start with this question.

“What is it about you or what has happened in your life that you’ve struggled with?” The reason I ask this question is that it’s often exactly these sorts of things that actually make us who we are and – if we recognise them – become an “unfair” advantage to us.

When I asked myself question, I knew what my “unfair” advantage is.

Being 6ft tall since I was 14. Growing up I was often teased and asked “what’s the weather like up there Lurch?” and “is there enough oxygen up there for you?” oh, and one of the best ones can still be “Ooooh, aren’t you tall?” – I’d often (and still do) say “oh, thank you for telling me, I hadn’t noticed!” In my teens, I used to get to parties and immediately take my shoes off saying my feet hurt. In reality, I wanted to be smaller, to blend in more.

Now I recognise being tall means I’m noticed, I’m remembered and often when growing up, was assumed to be either older or wiser (or both) than I was. My height gives me a natural presence, which, in business just as in life, helps. I had no choice; I was – and still am – 6ft and the choice was always how I deal with it – what I make it mean to me.

It could have been easy to have slouched, to have tried to hide it by wearing flat shoes all the time but actually, I really like being tall and wear high heels as and when I want to – oh, and I’m married to someone a fair bit shorter than me. So what? It’s all about your perception and how you perceive your “unfair” advantage.

I’ve asked a few other people recently, just off the cuff, what they’ve struggled with and now could be their “unfair” advantage. They’ve all been able to tell me what theirs is.

  • One friend – “Being Scottish – I’m remembered, I’m different and people like my accent”.

  • Another – “My dyslexia’s made me be so much more creative”.

  • My husband, Snowy – “My dad dying when I was so young helped me know how to look after myself and appreciate how hard my Mum worked and the value of relationships”.

Think about your “unfair” advantage. What is it that’s shaped you and how do you allow it to positively influence your life? If it doesn’t, how could it? What could you make it mean? People

A great way to find out if you don’t instinctively know is to ask 3 different people who know you well. Literally ask them “what do you think is my unfair advantage” and just stop and listen to what they say.

Often they’ll all come up with the same thing, my friends all did. Others often see – and appreciate – things in us, or about us, that we don’t.

When you become clearer about this, recognising if and how you allow it to be your “secret sauce” is a BIG part of communicating who – and how – you are, everywhere, you are.

As we all know, how you put yourself across is a key part in how others connect and respond to you and what you’re noticed/known and remembered for. Instead of hiding your secret sauce, celebrate it, embrace it, own it and work it in a way which works for you. It gives you unshakeable confidence in yourself because only you really know the path you’ve walked and the lessons you’ve learned. Only. You.

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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My approaches to the Sales Team were falling flat

“My approaches to the Sales Team were falling flat and I found it hard to get reactions and responses from them tothumbnail- include me in sales discussions and consider me as part of the core Sales Team. Before working with Kay I was at the point of frustration and it was affecting my confidence.

Kay quickly showed me how to hook and keep attention when I engaged with the Sales Team over email and when I present at Sales Meetings. I use her Email and Phone systems daily and really enjoy following the steps which make communicating much more clear, sensible and from the heart.

It’s SO much easier to get people’s attention and get them into action for me.

~ Thelma P. IT Organisation Sales, California

Kay's Owl

T is for Tenacious, Thoughtful, Tactical

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day.

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Are you ‘Fully Engaged’?

Let me recommend to you a book I’ve sent to all my mentoring clients recently. A book by Thomas Sterner, a friend and colleague and mentor to me.

Tom’s book lays out the mindset behind being present in the process and enjoying it. Not, as we so often are, always fixating and focussed on the outcome of what you’re trying to do, achieve, make happen.

He shares stories and practical steps to keep an eye on where you’re heading BUT, crucially, how to enjoy the process of learning and pay attention to how you’re doing what you’re doing. Or – how to be fully engaged.

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite

Gift eBook

Here’s an easy-to-read, downloadable treat!

Please help yourself to a copy of my eBook ‘Power Up; Speak Up & Be Heard’. I wrote the eBook over 5 years ago and it’s already been downloaded thousands of times.

Designed to give you an easy place to start, it’s packed with short, sparkly, use-straight away soundbites just like the Top Takeaway above.

As a professional, ambitious career woman %$firstname$%, would now be a good time to put your foot down at work and speak up and be heard?

Here’s where you can receive your copy.

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About Kay

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ‘sell their soul’.

Running her own multiple 6-figure coaching & mentoring business for over 10 years, Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity while being true to themselves.

Kay’s clients learn how to present themselves most effectively at work and to combine strategic, planned career move-making steps with influencing skills. She also teaches compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets around, for example, money, ambition and worthiness. She draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the male-dominated world of London insurance broking. Kay started her career at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own coaching business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Hosting an annual 3-day Live Event for corporate career women “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE” Kay encourages and shows women how to be the best, most valuable version of themselves so they’re ready to be paid what their worth and go for what they want with certainty. Crucially too, how to have more ease and more fun as you plan your way forward.

Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com

Living close to London with sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, lots of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside. Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he’s part of the pack.

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