Positive Linking eZine: March 13, 2015


Volume 106 | 13 March 2015  

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Hello there %$firstname$%,

Well, 2 weeks today we’ll be on Day 2 of my 3 day Live Event – Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard and now is all about preparation and planning.  Interestingly, to me that doesn’t mean lists and lists of things to do, more time to think, rest, walk with the hounds.   We so often push ourselves into last-minute rush mode and that’s something I can’t stand.  All the logistical pieces are already done and now it’s just the mental preparation and a bit of primping %$firstname$%.

My 19 year-old niece, Grace, and I went shopping for accessories and a cocktail dress for the cocktail party on Day 1.  She chose what I’ll be wearing and her first word when I came out of the changing room was “Wow Kitsy”.  Pretty cool coming from a 19 year old so I paid attention.

I often say to myself “slow down if you want to go faster” and it’s not really about going faster I realise but being more strategic.  Getting the right things done.  I know you know how easy it is to be busy being busy but feeling you’re not getting the real meaty ‘most bangs for your buck’ things done. So, 2 weeks today, with a room full of professional, ambitious women coming together to learn and share, there’s what I’ve planned and then there’s what actually happens.  They’re never the same thing of course.  So, “Stay open and loose, flexible and present”. Those are the main things on my list of ‘Things to Do’ now.

Warmly to you %$firstname$%.


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PS – Oscar Wilde said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™ LIVE Event –

Well – with just under 2 weeks to go now Registrations are coming in thick and fast!   We’re close to Sold Out.

Women from industries such as Banking, Insurance, IT, Asset Management, Hospitality, Accountancy, Law, Compliance are already joining us and – so can you whilst tickets are still available.

There’s never been a better time to be a woman in business stepping up and going for what you want.  To receive the recognition, rewards and opportunities you know you deserve, you need to take a stand for yourself and assert yourself – and you must do it in a way, which is true to yourself.   

Take some time for yourself and press ‘Pause’ on your day-to-day ‘To Do’ list by joining us, live and in London, to consider, plan and position yourself for more purposeful – and accelerated career success at work.  


Special Code Alert

Use the code: GLITTERBALL at Registration and take £200 off your seat.  They’re now £397 but you can join us for £197 whilst we still have seats.  

As Katy Perry herself says, “Baby you’re a firework, c’mon show ’em what you’re worth

You’re worth more than you think you are.  I know it.  Do you?

Or, in other words – Show Up; Sparkle and Be Heard LIVE.



“You don’t get this sort of thing on offer, anywhere.”

You don’t get this sort of thing on offer anywhere in Corporate so you can get lots of soft skills courses but there’s nothing like this out there at all. It was lovely to meet like-minded women. I’ve made lots of decisions so one is about letting go to help myself move forward more, there’s nothing wrong with being scared and having that fear but how to overcome it and that will be my next journey.

Kay has been excellent; she has been really a true host, never looks tired and so full of energy and keeps you engaged throughout. I will tell the truth, there wasn’t one moment where I looked at my watch these last 3 days!

I would say bite the bullet and just attend Kay’s event, you have absolutely nothing to lose and at the very least you will make a lot more new friends with a great new network as well because I can see that happening all around me.”

Sonal Shah, Project Manager, IT Consultancy

Here’s a Snapshot of all that’s on offer for you!


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Slow Things Down

Respond rather than react (and save time, money and energy)

Slow down to speed things up. Yes, I know – it’s a dichotomy (I had to look it up – a polar opposite, a contrariety) to say you have to slow down to speed things up. Well it’s true.

So often we think we have to decide on the spot; say “yes” or “no” in the moment and know all the answers to the questions we’re asked. Well, we’re actually making things harder for ourselves and harder on ourselves if we believe that to be true. Hitting things back like a tennis ball over the net isn’t a strategy – it’s more like survival and it wears you down.

I’ve learned we think faster than we think. It’s worth saying again to remind us both – we think faster than we think. Our brain processes the question; the decision; the issue in front of us quickly.

What we do is assume that we have to always be thinking on the spot and just because we’re asked a question we have to know the answer; respond straight away or act immediately. Well, we don’t. Even if we do know the answer, we don’t have to commit ourselves straight away. We can buy ourselves time and find subtle ways to make the other person wait – even if it’s for just a few seconds.

Clients say, particularly women, one of the big struggles they have when they’re promoted or as they take on more responsibility is the feeling of fear of having to know all the answers; of “making the right decision on the spot”. Well, “hello”- firstly who does know all the answers? Secondly, who knows what the right decision is? Only time tells us that. We make decisions taking into account what’s going on at the time; the information, insight and instinct we have and then, we wait to find out how it pans out.

kay whiteIt’s liberating – certainly it is for me – to know that you don’t have to know all the answers and you don’t have to do everything or decide everything “now” – even if it would suit others if you did.

People waste so much time, money and energy – our three most precious resources – by rushing into decisions; responding to emails in “shooting from the fingertip” mode; being asked questions and blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.

Clearing up or back-tracking from rushed decisions or responses just slows us down.

Here’s just 3 of the many ways to slow things down to speed things up for yourself when you’re asked a question:

  1. Repeat the question. Say it back to the person in a way that sounds thoughtful (it is) so you and your brain can process it. It also has the added bonus of making sure the person asking the question is actually asking what they want. (This is a great tip for interviews by the way.)
  2. Ask the person asking what they think first. You can literally say “hmm, now before I tell you what I think, what do you think?” This is especially powerful for someone working or reporting to you – why not make them do the thinking first?
  3. Ask another question. It sounds so elementary doesn’t it? Rather than answer what you’ve been asked; ask a few more questions about the background to the question to get clearer and, again, to buy you and your brain a few more seconds before – and if – you decide to answer. Pause.  

Now that’s something to think about, isn’t it?

As a strategic, savvy businesswoman, give yourself a bit more time and space to plan your reply. You know more than you think you know and sometimes, a few extra seconds to think about it gives you the chance to really show it.



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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:

“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.


Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”


To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, we’re always interested to hear from you. Please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right)

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Samar P.

Director, Global Bank in the UK & 2013 Event Participant (and attending in 2015)

I know I’m richer as a result of being here.

I was intrigued by the title of the Event! The idea of having access to all the like-minded professional women Kay attracts really motivated me to come. I didn’t want it to end!

I’ve learned so much about myself both from Kay and what she shares and from the generous sharing of other women in the audience. I would never have got access to the sorts of things I’ve learned if I hadn’t had the sense to come here.

I know I’m richer as a result of being here. I’ve opened up to how I can do things differently to realise my potential, be a better person, earn more money and really be much happier in myself.

Kay’s so thoughtful and understands what you need before you do and she’s very warm, real and really, really great fun! Be open – what have you got to lose? For a small investment you can get huge access to ways to be truly extraordinary – learn from Kay.”

Kay's OwlS is Strategic; Smart; Sparkly

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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Eat that FrogEat That Frog!  This classic book by Brian Tracy is a true get-going inspirational read with 21 ways to get over and blast through procrastination.

The idea being that if you had a selection of things on your plate and had to eat them all…and one of them was a frog, chances are that the frog is the last thing you’d want to eat.  Brian recommends, eat it first.

If you “Eat that Frog” and get the worst thing done first, you’re off and on your way to being more productive and inspired for the rest of your day.  OK, I’ve got a frog to go off and eat.  And you %$firstname$%?


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Note it down, even if you’re asleep!

Ever woken up in the middle of the night with a flash of inspiration or a gasp of “Oh blast, I must do that tomorrow”? What happens is you then lie there fretting you’ll forget or working out how to remember – or maybe stumble your way to a pen and paper in the dark.

Instead, try this.  I do this a lot.  Have a pad with a blank page open by your bedside.  A reliable pen close to it and then – easy – when those moments of clarity come to you in the night, just reach out and jot them down. 

Doesn’t have to look pretty but, in the dark,  I scribble down what came to me and then go back to sleep relaxed, knowing it’s there for when I wake up.   Sometimes I don’t even remember waking up and writing it and have a ‘Wow, that’s good’ moment when I first see it.  Try it!  It’s simple and it works %$firstname$%.


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About Kay White

Kay White works with experienced business women from all around the world (and some very smart men) and shows them – with a combination of language and strategic moves – how to own, position and speak of their value so their income, opportunities and confidence naturally increases.

Kay combines private, VIP mentoring with group mentoring, speaking and hosting her annual 3-day Live Event ’Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE”. She also hosts her weekly podcast radio show ‘Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard’ downloadable from her site or on iTunes.

Using insights from her own 20 year corporate career, Kay shows her clients how to plan out their next moves in their business or career. She also shows women how ‘accessorise’ and enhance their day-to-day interactions along the way making them more comfortable, compelling and engaging. They boost their income, prospects and attract more lucrative opportunities as a result as Kay shows her clients how to add true, personal sparkle. Both to themselves and to what they say.

Working with Kay, her clients discover how to be assertive, attract and keep attention and then ask for and get what they want. It’s a learnable skill to ask for what you want, to persuade, influence and get other people engaged and into action – both in writing and face-to-face. Kay’s developed step-by-step systems for her clients to learn, follow and use the steps every day and everywhere. 

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay is the Author of the international #1 bestseller ‘The A to Z of Being Understood’. She’s also a contributing Author in 4 other #1 best-selling books and annually hosts a 3-day Live Event in London for professional women:  Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE. With her straightforward and easy manner, Kay regularly features in magazines and publications. She’s a featured expert in GLAMOUR Magazine in “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Playing Hardball” and a regular guest blogger for We Are The City, a hub network and content site for professional women.

During her 20-year corporate career, Kay worked in the City of London and in Paris to Director level as part of a successful, mainly male, fast-paced team of global insurance brokers. Negotiating multi-million pound, industrial property insurance contracts around the world, she learned (often by her own mistakes along the way) how to – and crucially how not to – get heard, valued and noticed, for the right reasons. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently!

Kay and her husband live close to London with their 3 rescue sighthounds. A lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Find out much more at www.kaywhite.com

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Way Forward Solutions Ltd
3 London Wall Buildings
London EC2M 5PD

Way Forward Solutions Ltd
3 London Wall Buildings
London EC2M 5PD