Positive Linking eZine: March 24, 2017

kay white enewsletter

Volume 149 |  24 March 2017 

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

So, in the spirit of drinking my own medicine, I’ve been on the radar recently, more than I am normally! In the last month I’ve been invited to speak at 4 different City institutions and have shared my message about communicating with more influence to over 300 women. What I realise as I share my message to different audiences (sometimes more than once in a day) is that I never say the same thing.

The structure of my message is there to keep me on track but each time I find another story or example to share, a question to ask or respond to which changes the content. The audience, landscape and I change all the time. And here’s the thing I’ve really learned of late. If you are too rigid and ‘prepared’ you can’t be in the moment. You can’t pick up on the audience and what’s going on for them. I’m often asked if I’d like a lectern and to me that’s the ‘kiss of death’ for a natural, engaging talk. To stand behind a lectern is to put a barrier between you and your audience (and the speaker often gets white knuckles clinging on to it for dear life).

As I prepare to host my 3-day Live Event in October plus a One-Day Event in May focussing on presenting skills, this is what I know will be part of my preparation. Structure, intention, masterminding time and then, staying loose in the room. You can’t do that if you’re too focussed on saying exactly this, that and the other.

Notice what you notice about how you prepare when you present. Maybe you’d like to be with us in May in Central London? For now, just jot 11th May in your diary and let me get in touch again a little nearer the time.

I will share with you though %$firstname$%, after the day when I spoke at a City bank at 8am and then the London Stock Exchange at 1pm I did go home and go straight to sleep for an hour. To engage and be engaging, to share from your heart and your head – as well as commuting there and back – takes super-duper amounts of energy. It does for me anyway. Building in time to reboot was key!

So, if you see your landscape changing around you, as it does all the time, and you’re fighting it or pretending it’s not happening, have a read of the article below and also the book recommendation I have for you. The one thing you can rely on (apart from death and taxes) is change. In fact, when things seem to stay the same, it’s an illusion anyway. We change, the atmosphere, market, key players are changing all the time.

Remember %$firstname$%, always be true to yourself – no one else can be the unique, one-off, multi-faceted person you are! No one.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™

3-Day LIVE Event 2017

Shall I keep you posted?

If you know you need to step up and accelerate your success at work AND allow yourself to be seen, valued and heard – do be there in 2017. Here’s the date and it will be in London again. Join me LIVE and learn with and from other ambitious, experienced women like you.

AND it may be the FINAL event like this which I host.

If you’ve been thinking about coming ‘some time’ well, this year in June might be your last chance….

>> 5, 6, 7 October 2017.

Here’s where you can let me know you want to be kept in the loop AND receive extra resources in advance.

Oh and below, here’s a quick video showing a little of what happened in March this year and what you’ve got in store in 2016. Take a few moments to see what comes up for ambitious women like you and what happens when you put yourself into an intentional space like this.

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How to Embrace the Challenge of Change

Go with the flow of the opportunities

It’s one of my go-to books. Each year I read ‘Who Moved My Cheese’ by Ken Blanchard which reminds me how to recognise change and expect it. Not to sit like a rabbit in the headlights and hold my head saying things aren’t fair.

Well, one of the only things you can rely on is that everything is shifting and changing all the time.

Relationships, market conditions, policies, who’s who, technology and why are we surprised?

When you consider what was important to you when you were 5, 15, 25, 35, 45 years old and so on – you can tell that for the most part, the key drivers for you have changed.

At 5 you probably wanted to have the newest popular toy, at 15 a boyfriend or girlfriend and good grades, at 25 more money to buy your own place, 35 a child or a partner (or a new partner) and so on. Your landscape changed, your desires changed or, as it says in the book, your cheese naturally moved.

When you take a look then at your workplace or industry these days, where companies have to be nimble and respond to market conditions to be able to stay in business, why would it be any different? One of the things I’ve learned is that there is no ‘job for life’ anymore and on some levels that’s a good thing.

Companies can’t offer the certainty of it and nor can we, or should we, rely on it. That, in itself, gives us walk-ability. The essence being keeping your eyes and ears open to what’s going on as well as your mind open to how it works for you. Not if, but how? If you don’t believe you want to make it work then that’s where your opportunities to move your cheese lie. They lie with you.

As it says in the book “Every company wants to survive in the future but also stay competitive. While in the past we may have wanted loyal employees, today we need flexible people who are not possessive about ‘the way we do things around here’”.

Here’s a simple set of incisive questions I ask myself and my clients when we see change (another) on the horizon:

  • Where are the opportunities in here for you?

  • What will you have to let go of to embrace the opportunities?

  • What will be the threats?

  • What’s the worst that can happen and how will you handle it?

  • What would you tell me to do if we swapped places?

We all know intuitively it’s an inside job. Change. It’s an inside job. How you think about it, approach it, what you make it mean, how you talk about it, how you embrace it and how you allow it to stretch you so you grow with the flow of it.

When you come up against yourself resisting the flow of change either inside of you or external to you, remind yourself of how much change you’ve encountered, handled and benefitted from. Then remind yourself to choose how to approach it. Choose to approach change. Always. All ways.

There’s a Native American quote I love which is “It is always best to ride the horse the direction it’s going.” Indeed.

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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A is a Director, Private Health Care Company, UK. When we started working together she felt alienated from her team and unappreciated by her senior management.

“Before working with Kay I thought communication mentoring was counselling and that I certainly did not need it. Working with Kay couldn’t be more different – inter-active, thought-provoking, confronting and good fun at the same time. I was feeling an outsider with my team as I had such a short fuse and my frustration kept bubbling up. I’m so much more open-minded and willing to learning new ways of approaching problems. It’s as if Kay’s a secret member of my team in fact and helps me plan my moves with care.

I’ve learned how my behaviour can make things happen and I modify my approach and my language. People notice the difference in me. Kay’s style is fun and challenges you and with Kay’s thoughtful questioning and strategy, I’ve been promoted twice since we’ve been working together.”

Kay's Owl

A is for Assertive, Attentive, Astute

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day.

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Who Moved My Cheese?

I mentioned above. I recommend it to you on so many levels. To give you another angle on inevitable change, to find yourself in the book and see how you characteristics surface when confronted with change AND to give you a place to find yourself as you embrace change.

Like it or not, you either move with the cheese or change ‘happens’ to you. You choose.

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite

Carrying Post-It Notes!

This is one of those silly and so simple things which mean you can leave a message, a reminder, a ‘touch’ for someone when you’re on the move. I always carry sticky notes because you can, for example:

  • Leave yourself a prompt stuck at eye height at the front door or the hall mirror “Remember XYZ”

Post it Notes

  • Stick a note on someone’s windscreen if you see their car and want to say ‘Hello’

  • Pop a note on the front of your phone to remind you to call someone

  • Download ideas with someone and then sort them into some form of an order

  • Use them to stick something else in place

A small thing to keep in your bag or wallet and an easy way to prompt yourself or inspire yourself or someone else – oh, and the colours always attract attention too!

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About Kay

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ‘sell their soul’.

Running her own multiple 6-figure coaching & mentoring business for over 10 years, Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity while being true to themselves.

Kay’s clients learn how to present themselves most effectively at work and to combine strategic, planned career move-making steps with influencing skills. She also teaches compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets around, for example, money, ambition and worthiness. She draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the male-dominated world of London insurance broking. Kay started her career at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own coaching business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Hosting an annual 3-day Live Event for corporate career women “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE” Kay encourages and shows women how to be the best, most valuable version of themselves so they’re ready to be paid what their worth and go for what they want with certainty. Crucially too, how to have more ease and more fun as you plan your way forward.

Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com

Living close to London with sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, lots of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside. Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he’s part of the pack.

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