Positive Linking eZine: March 28, 2018

kay white enewsletter

Volume 169 | 28 March 2018

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

Good grief! Can you believe it’s Easter this week and we’re all limbering up here in the UK for two 4-day weeks and a long, 4-day weekend. You may feel the same that this first quarter of 2018 has been on ‘fast forward’? We’ve had extreme weather here for the UK and Snowy and I have had a combination of social and professional commitments which have kept us on our toes and, at one point, I knew I’d taken on too much. Do you get that sense at times %$firstname$%? You think you can do things back to back and then you suddenly realise you’re running on empty. Well, for someone who is fierce about her clients avoiding doing that, I felt I did it myself BUT that period has come to a close now and I’m exercising my ‘No Thank You’ muscle now.

When I reflect %$firstname$%, 3 Events, 2 weekends away and a virtual teles-eminar I hosted this last weekend (it was a CV Surgery where 8 women came together, guided by me, to create a cracking, opportunity attracting CV/Resume and they, and I, were on fire!) it was all brilliant and yet they were too closely packed together. Why do we do this to ourselves %$firstname$%? Is it FOMO – fear of missing out? Is it overestimating what we can do in a week? It’s probably a bit of both but all I know is that it’s been a lot of fun and I’m pleased to be going quieter. To settling down and picking up writing my book again. My book is packed with stories and stories make us sit up and remember, they make us think, they add weight to your message. Do you use your story-telling skills? See below for inspiration if you know you want to sharpen them up.

Amongst all this we had a weekend in London with our niece and her boyfriend – getting to know him and seeing them together was fun and they went off museum viewing and Snowy and I went off to an antiques fair – everyone was happy!

I wish you, as I wish for myself, a healthy, happy and restful time over the Easter break – family and friends where and when you want them and quiet, refreshing time for you and your mind too. I’m definitely carving some of that out!

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Writing My Second Book – Title TBA

Accountability is something I value myself – someone keeping an eye on your progress, paying attention to how you’re developing things you want to make happen – and I have a few Accountability Buddies now I’m writing my second book. You are one of them %$firstname$%!

I started writing the book on holiday on 28th January at 6.30am. The plan is to finish it on 4th July (no coincidence it’s Independence Day) and officially launch it on 4th October.

I’ve already booked the Launch Party for the evening of 4th October and will invite clients, connections, friends, family to celebrate. Maybe that will include you?

Do you box yourself in and set a date for what you want to make happen %$firstname$%? I find it’s the most effective and inspiring (and kick-in-the-pants way) to keep me focussed and inspired. My beady-eyed Editor is reviewing the first few chapters now and clearly, there will be ‘comments’ and suggestions and chops but hey, that’s what she’s about!

Like everything, you get out what you put in and I’m pouring my experience, client stories, strategies and inspirations into this book about continual, strategic career success for women. Stay tuned!

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How To Get Your Message Across with a Story

A Simple Question to Ask Yourself

Think of any film you’ve seen that grabbed you. What about a TV series you follow, or a book you read and re-read or share? They’ll all have grabbed your attention and kept it with a story. The story that’s threaded and woven throughout any attention-grabbing book or film is what we remember, long after the titles and credits.

Stories have the power to move us and make us act. We all tell stories – to ourselves, to our friends and families and to our clients, customers and colleagues. That phrase “so what’s the story on that?” – we want to know the story. The facts are just that, basically a list of details or information. The story is what makes the difference, how the facts are all pulled together and the ‘meaning’. It sways people and is often the turning point as to if – and how – they take on and accept your message.

When you work with clients, customers or colleagues, or when you’re simply chatting with friends we’re always looking for stories to be able to use to convey a message.

Here’s a key question to ask yourself which helps pull out a story to use. ‘If you had to compare your message to something you’ve done in life, what’s it like?’ An analogy – ‘a comparison between two things, typically on the basis of their structure and for the purpose of explanation or clarification’ is a great way to start to build a story. Always ask yourself “what’s this like?” and up will come the potential for your story.

3 quick examples for you:

  • A career – it’s like a journey – if you know where you’re going when you start out, it’s easier to get there. If you just set off in any-old-direction, who knows where you’ll end up?

  • Running a business – it’s like bringing up a child – it’s a creation of your very own and you invest passion and love, boundaries and rules into the relationship. You nurture it and want it to flourish and yet be independent of it sometimes too.

  • Preparing a presentation – it’s like putting on a show – a clear message and a purpose must be brought out quickly, the audience needs to be attracted to that message and know what’s in it for them and they want to be entertained by you.

Using stories to describe a message, to help people understand is one of the most time-tested ways of engaging others. The facts stick and become more powerful when they’re used in a story. If you think about the audience and what you know about them, then express yourself with the “it’s like when you….” using something you know they do or experience, then you’re always going to be more engaging, memorable and influential than the person who lists a load of facts.

Think how as children we loved being told stories, ‘read me a story’ ‘tell me a story please’ – if you have children they probably ask you that now and remembering being a child, you’ll have loved hearing, reading and learning stories. Why stop? In truth, if you think about it, we still love being told a story and so does everyone else too.

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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K is for Kathy Stover, Social Media & Internet TV Expert, of kathystover. com

kATHY sTOVERKathy was really struggling to tell a client something she knew they wouldn’t want to hear when it felt like they were taking advantage of her.

“It was time to tell her “enough is enough” but I just didn’t know how to say it without breaking the relationship and upsetting her.

Kay helped me formulate what I was going to say in a way I wouldn’t normally think about. I was able to create a clear boundary with that person in a positive and very firm way. Kay helped me make it feel smooth and comfortable – whilst being “right between the eyes” at the same time. I firmly and positively closed the door on that sensitive issue and we’ve all moved on.”

Kay's Owl

K is also for Karma, Kindred, Know-how

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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The 5 Love Languages

BookI’ve recommended this book for years %$firstname$%. If you and your partner seem to be locking horns or have more than a few moments of ‘hmm, what just happened there?’ then this is for you. It helps define what you truly seek and value in a relationship which may or may not be the same as what your partner does.

Those moments of ‘disconnect’ become fewer when you understand your and your partner’s ‘love language’. My husband, Snowy, and I both value ‘high’ on Quality Time.

It helps to know this as we realised recently, we’d had little of it and were becoming a bit scratchy with each other. We both knew why!

You can call it ‘poppycock’ if you want to. Your choice of course %$firstname$%.

Or, you can take a look at this book and have a lot of ‘aha’ moments and then really surprise your partner in a good way… Snowy and I are about to celebrate 17 years of marriage this year. Not always plain sailing but easier because we understand what we both value and why.

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite

Wear your name badge where it can be seen!

Simple and so effective. When you go to an event, a networking evening, a meeting and a name badge is given to you, which side do you pin it? If you’re like I used to – and most other people – you’ll normally pin it on your left side. I did until someone told me this simple step.

Pin it on your right-hand side instead. Just below your shoulder on your right. Why? Because when you extend your hand to greet someone and introduce yourself, their eyes are naturally heading towards your right shoulder, which is also naturally heading towards them. They can immediately see your name and hear your name at the same time. It’s easier for them to remember your name.

Aha, see. I told you it was simple and effective and %$firstname$% by helping other people to remember your name, it simply helps you to stay on their radar assuming, of course, you want to!

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About Kay

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ‘sell their soul’.

Running her own multiple 6-figure coaching & mentoring business for over 10 years, Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity while being true to themselves.

Kay’s clients learn how to present themselves most effectively at work and to combine strategic, planned career move-making steps with influencing skills. She also teaches compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets around, for example, money, ambition and worthiness. She draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the male-dominated world of London insurance broking. Kay started her career at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own coaching business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Comfortable on her feet, Kay regularly hosts Live Events (for 5 years, her annual 3-Day Live Event – Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE – has shown corporate career women how to attract promotion, recognition and rewards, all without selling their souls). Stay tuned for news about a suite of Day of Magic Experience Events for 2018.

Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com

Living close to London with rescue sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, much of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he knows he’s part of the pack.

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free-gift-bubblegift-bubble-darkWhere do I send your free 30-minute audio ‘Do You Have Trouble Saying No?’

to show you how to assert firm boundaries with confidence PLUS your POWER List—over 1,200 words and phrases to add influence to your language and quickly attract attention? ALSO receive more tips in my bi-monthly eZine and unsubscribe at any time.

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