Positive Linking eZine: March 9, 2018

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Volume 168 | 9 March 2018

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

Well, it’s been quite a ride of late. Not only have I hosted a half-day Event on influence at a London-based Insurer, the same day I was a guest drummer at a gig playing live for only the second time. 2 days later we went to St Moritz in Switzerland where Snowy, my husband, fulfilled an ambition and did the head-first skeleton bobsleigh ride known as ‘The Cresta Run’. Individually, each of those events were brilliant, they stretched us and challenged us and, when combined into an intense week, it was something of a blur. At times, too much.

What I learned though as I experienced the thrill of the Event, theexcitement of the gig and the extreme nature of -22C in St Moritz was this. Rather than think of all that’s coming up or all that you’ve got to do, take moments of focussed preparation (packing / practicing / reading up etc) and then let go. Enjoy the moments. I found when I let go of having to know exactly what was happening next, I enjoyed everything so much more. The essence is “stay present and keep going”.

Playing the drums wearing, as I was, my Thin Lizzy t-shirt, I got a further lesson in this mantra. I got lost and – just like jump rope skipping – had to find my way into the beat again. Instead of throwing my sticks in the air, I shook my head and my hair with frustration (like a rock drummer) and got in again. Everyone thought I was rocking like a drummer instead of being lost! It’s a lesson %$firstname$% – just keep going. It gives you the edge or advantage when you don’t let things stop you in your tracks.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,


Let’s connect even more

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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Writing My Second Book

Accountability is something I value myself – someone keeping an eye on your progress, paying attention to how you’re developing things you want to make happen – and I have a few Accountability Buddies now I’m writing my second book. You are one of them %$firstname$%!

I started writing the book on holiday on 28th January at 6.30am. The plan is to finish it on 4th July (no coincidence it’s Independence Day) and officially launch it on 4th October.

I’ve already booked the Launch Party for the evening of 4th October and will invite clients, connections, friends, family to celebrate. Maybe that will include you?

Do you box yourself in and set a date for what you want to make happen %$firstname$%? I find it’s the most effective and inspiring (and kick-in-the-pants way) to keep me focussed and inspired. I’ll let you know as it evolves but I’m about to complete Chapter 2 of 8.

6 to go and then there’s the editing, cover and design process which takes ages but it’s all part of the ride of it all.

Like everything, you get out what you put in and I’m pouring my experience, client stories, strategies and inspirations into this book about continual, strategic career success for women. Stay tuned!

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What’s your “unfair” advantage (and do you even know about it)?

Working with career women keen to raise their visibility and influence at work, this is one of the first places I start with them. “Let’s find your unfair advantage or your Secret Sauce” I say. I start with this question.

“What is it about you or what has happened in your life that you’ve struggled with?” The reason I ask this question is that it’s often exactly these sorts of things that actually make us who we are and – if we recognise them – become an “unfair” advantage to us.

When I asked myself question, I knew what my “unfair” advantage is.

Being 6ft tall since I was 14. Growing up I was often teased and asked “what’s the weather like up there Lurch?” and “is there enough oxygen up there for you?” oh, and one of the best ones can still be “Ooooh, aren’t you tall?” – I’d often (and still do) say “oh, thank you for telling me, I hadn’t noticed!” In my teens, I used to get to parties and immediately take my shoes off saying my feet hurt. In reality, I wanted to be smaller, to blend in more.

Now I recognise being tall means I’m noticed, I’m remembered and often when growing up, was assumed to be either older or wiser (or both) than I was. My height gives me a natural presence, which, in business just as in life, helps. I had no choice; I was – and still am – 6ft and the choice was always how I deal with it – what I make it mean to me.

It could have been easy to have slouched, to have tried to hide it by wearing flat shoes all the time but actually, I really like being tall and wear high heels as and when I want to – oh, and I’m married to someone a fair bit shorter than me. So what? It’s all about your perception and how you perceive your “unfair” advantage.

I’ve asked a few other people recently, just off the cuff, what they’ve struggled with and now could be their “unfair” advantage. They’ve all been able to tell me what theirs is.

  • One friend – “Being Scottish – I’m remembered, I’m different and people like my accent”.

  • Another – “My dyslexia’s made me be so much more creative”.

  • My husband, Snowy – “My dad dying when I was so young helped me know how to look after myself and appreciate how hard my Mum worked and the value of relationships”.

Think about your “unfair” advantage. What is it that’s shaped you and how do you allow it to positively influence your life? If it doesn’t, how could it? What could you make it mean?

A great way to find out if you don’t instinctively know is to ask 3 different people who know you well. Literally ask them “what do you think is my unfair advantage” and just stop and listen to what they say.

Often they’ll all come up with the same thing, my friends all did. Others often see – and appreciate – things in us, or about us, that we don’t.

When you become clearer about this, recognising if and how you allow it to be your “secret sauce” is a BIG part of communicating who – and how – you are, everywhere, you are.

As we all know, how you put yourself across is a key part in how others connect and respond to you and what you’re noticed/known and remembered for. Instead of hiding your secret sauce, celebrate it, embrace it, own it and work it in a way which works for you. It gives you unshakeable confidence in yourself because only you really know the path you’ve walked and the lessons you’ve learned. Only. You.

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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My approches to the Sales Team were falling flat 

“My approaches to the Sales Team were falling flat and I found it hard to get reactions and responses from them tothumbnail- include me in sales discussions and consider me as part of the core Sales Team. Before working with Kay I was at the point of frustration and it was affecting my confidence.

Kay quickly showed me how to hook and keep attention when I engaged with the Sales Team over email and when I present at Sales Meetings. I use her Email and Phone systems daily and really enjoy following the steps which make communicating much more clear, sensible and from the heart.

It’s SO much easier to get people’s attention and get them into action for me.

~ Thelma P. IT Organisation Sales, California

Kay's Owl

T is for Tenacious, Thoughtful, Tactical

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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Are you ‘Fully Engaged’?

Let me recommend to you a book I’ve sent to all my mentoring clients recently. A book by Thomas Sterner, a friend and colleague and mentor to me.

Tom’s book lays out the mindset behind being present in the process and enjoying it. Not, as we so often are, always fixating and focussed on the outcome of what you’re trying to do, achieve, make happen.

He shares stories and practical steps to keep an eye on where you’re heading BUT, crucially, how to enjoy the process of learning and pay attention to how you’re doing what you’re doing. Or – how to be fully engaged.

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite

Gift eBook

Here’s an easy-to-read, downloadable treat!

Please help yourself to a copy of my eBook ‘Power Up; Speak Up & Be Heard’. It’s been downloaded thousands and thousands of times.

Designed to give you an easy place to start, it’s packed with short, sparkly, use-straight away soundbites just like the Top Takeaway above.

As a professional, ambitious career woman %$firstname$%, WHEN would now be a good time to put your foot down at work and speak up and be heard?

Here’s where you can receive your copy.

A final thought for you %$firstname$%.

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About Kay

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ‘sell their soul’.

Running her own multiple 6-figure coaching & mentoring business for over 10 years, Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity while being true to themselves.

Kay’s clients learn how to present themselves most effectively at work and to combine strategic, planned career move-making steps with influencing skills. She also teaches compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets around, for example, money, ambition and worthiness. She draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the male-dominated world of London insurance broking. Kay started her career at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own coaching business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Comfortable on her feet, Kay regularly hosts Live Events (for 5 years, her annual 3-Day Live Event – Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE – has shown corporate career women how to attract promotion, recognition and rewards, all without selling their souls). Stay tuned for news about a suite of Day of Magic Experience Events for 2018.

Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com

Living close to London with rescue sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, much of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he knows he’s part of the pack.

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