Positive Linking eZine: May 22, 2015

kay white enewsletter

Volume 110 | 22 May 2015  

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

As someone who loves variety in my life it’s one of the reasons I started my own business in 2006. Having worked my way up, for over 20 years, in the City of London via a number of roles to divisional Director level, I had a nagging feeling it was time to change the structure of my life. Less time commuting and sitting in meetings, less overseas travel and targets and more time outside and taking a chance at being my own boss. Whatever that might look like. It was a leap I took to let go of that identity, of that comfy salary, company BMW and all the other bells and whistles. Or was it?

Last week I realised a dream. I hadn’t thought about it for a while but as I sat in the City years ago I dreamt about running my own business, having hounds and walking out with them daily and – if it happened – sharing my life happily and in partnership with someone I love and who loves me. As someone who’d been around the block a few times in the love life department, that seemed a stretch but hey, it was a dream right? Or was it? Last week I walked with our 3 hounds in bluebell woods, worked with my VIP client group who are making expansive, assertive career moves and then took a day off to do ‘whatever’. Snowy and I then took off for the weekend and sat by a river bank planning some of our own next moves via a black tie dinner that evening with great friends.

Even though there have been real twists and turns and highs and lows in both my business and my personal life – and there truly still are (crashing and burning with pneumonia recently, being a great example, at the same time as hosting my most rocking event yet) – the ride of it all came from letting go of one identity to be able to find out about the next one.

I’m telling you this %$firstname$%, not to impress you but to share with you that you have to take a leap and be prepared to let go of some ‘stuff’ to make room and make way for the next chapter to unfold. Calculated, tactical move-making is part of what I work on with my clients for acceleration in their careers. And also we work on trusting ourselves.

So – pay attention to those dreams of yours and be prepared to let go, leap and trust.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine and that the ideas and suggestions help you to show up, sparkle and be heard more at work. Remember, always be true to yourself – no one else can be the unique, one-off, multi-faceted person you are. No one.

Warmly to you,


Let’s connect even more

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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™ LIVE Event –

Date for Your 2016 Diary

I believe in setting an intention and going with it %$firstname$%. If you know you need to be there in 2016, here’s the date and it will be in London again. The contract for the room is close to being signed and, already, women are telling me “I’m coming next year – I know I need to be there”. So. Just saying. If you do too, now you know the when.

Look at one of our participants this year who, since the end of March, has made this happen!

“The Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard Event was a catalyst for me and spurred me on to look at my career and make the changes I’d been thinking of for some time but hadn’t the courage or the circumstances. As a result I’ve applied for a position recently, was successful and they’ve offered me the post with a salary of £5,000 above the upper limit.

My flabber was gasted, as they say. Thank you again for the part you’ve played in enabling me to own my life and drive my own bus”. Christine H. Senior Exec, UK NHS

Look at energy, the sparkle, the intentional women who joined me in March this year. Maybe you’ll be one of them next year?

The how will work itself out….. 9, 10, 11 June 2016.

Promotion. Recognition. Rewards.

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Connect and Compel As You Write

Write to engage and keep people’s attention

Think about how you write? Think about how you think about other people as you write – if you think about other people as you write?

It’s one of the easiest things to do – just quickly type or write what you ‘think’ needs to be said and give a ‘shoot from your fingertip’ response and assume that the other person/s will work it out. Well they may – and they may also get confused, upset, hurt or just ignore your message.

As successful professionals, everyday we’re writing – emails / promotional material / website updates / reports / executive summaries / slides / letters.

I’ve noticed something which really jumps out and it’s something you can easily take notice of as you write. People think that because they’re writing something it has to be written in a more formal, often ‘wooden’ style just because it’s in writing. Well it does – and it doesn’t.

Context is everything – most of the things we send out day-to-day can be written in a style closer to how you speak. Now you may speak in a “To Whom It May Concern” and “Notwithstanding the aforementioned” kind-of way. Well good luck if you do. I also understand that we still need to be respectful and make sure all the ‘meaty’ information is in there.

Most of the time, if you write letters, emails, website and marketing documents in this style then you’ve lost the reader at ‘Hello – or, if that’s your style, then you’ve lost them at “To Whom It May Concern”. You’d lose me, that’s for sure.

Something happens when someone starts to write, that often sends them in to using ‘you are’ instead of ‘you’re” and ‘we’re’ becomes ‘we are’ – it becomes more formal and less compelling because of it. Also, the crucial connecting words of you, your, our, suddenly turn into me, my, I, us and ‘we’. The reader feels excluded or talked-down-to or bored (or all 3).

I put it to you, if you can hold a conversation, if you can get your point across as you speak, chat – then you can write in the same way, there’s a style you have that’s yours and that’s how you can write. It is far more compelling to your reader than all the ‘stuffy’ stuff.

How can you do this easily?

Here’s how: Warren Buffet

The great investor Warren Buffet of Berkshire Hathaway is renowned (apart from his billions of dollars) for putting together Annual Reports for his company investors which are easy to read and easy to understand.

There has to be formal layout in certain sections but in the parts where he tells the reader about developments, he says he writes as if he’s speaking to his sisters. He says “they’re intelligent but are no experts in finance or accounting – I don’t need to be Shakespeare; I must, though, have a sincere desire to inform.”

  • Who can you use in your head to speak to as you write? A client you know well, a friend of yours who’s interested in what you do, your partner or sibling? Just write it out as if you were chatting to them so you get it out of your head, then you can tweak and adjust to make sure you’ve got your point across. The key is to get it out of your head in a conversational way first

  • Think about what you’d want to read and the way you’d like to read it as if you were on the receiving end – what’s the difference?

  • Watch out for too many I, me, my – notice how you can flip them and make them your, you, you’re, our. It’s far more engaging to read and it helps you get into that crucial groove of thinking about the other person and what it is they want. Less about you, more about them.

Notice how you’re drawn in to certain people’s writing or companies’ websites and the effects they have on you; writing more like you speak and less like a competitor for the Formal Writing Trials is a skill. A skill which will mean more people read and connect with what you write and, the crucial bit, respond to you and what you want. Write on.

If you’d like to add a comment or tell me what you think, please hop over here to my blog and let me read you over there.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, we’re always interested to hear from you. Please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right)

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Adrianna. H. is a Project Manager in a global energy company. She took part in my small group mentorship ‘Present & Express Your Best, Most Valuable Self in Business’ as she was struggling to be recognised and rewarded at work:

“Kay really delivers on what it says on the tin! Her ability to assimilate information about people and almost provide a diagnostic within one call is truly phenomenal.

There are three R’s that I would use to describe the content of our mentorship alone:

Relevant Always current and cutting edge, Kay incorporates up to date examples, references, people and thought leadership to help build immediate understanding to her concepts.

Rich Her style is absolute class, and her ability to pierce through the surface of her cohorts was at times quite scary. Kay provided some in depth food for thought, asking us to question and confront some of (mine at least) the deepest fears I have carried with me since I started my career. I truly feel transformed without them and it shows in my results day-to-day.

Resonate Time and time again, Kay’s words pop into my mind when I need them. It’s like I have been hypnotised into believing in my own superpowers now – thank you!”

Kay's Owl

A is for Adrianna and also for Astute, Assertive, Alternatives

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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People / Places / Products

Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard Podcast

Each week you can pick up tips, steps, strategies and mindsets from my snappy podcast “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard”.

They’re designed to give you instant ideas, tips and you can listen on the move, on the train or – as a client does – when swimming! They’re downloaded by women from the UK to Australia, from Vietnam to Venezuela.

If I can give you something which will help you straight away, wherever you are, an insight or a tip or two on something you’re struggling with at work, just drop a note here to support@kaywhite.com. I’ll look at crafting a podcast for you to help in the coming weeks.

You know me. I believe in asking for what I want. You?

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Tip the balance between You & I

As you know, if you listen to someone and every other word they say is ‘I, me, my, mine’ then, like a successful hypnotist, they’re going to make you drift off and tune them out.

Notice how many times you go to say ‘Well, I would’ or ‘I think’ or ‘When I did that etc’ and remember this.

To be engaging to other people, to hook and keep their attention on you and what you want, you need to be less I, me, my and more you, your, yours.

It’s magical and simple, if you want to accelerate and build connection. Your choice!

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About Kay

About Kay White

Kay White works with experienced business women from all around the world (and some very smart men) and shows them – with a combination of language and strategic moves – how to own, position and speak of their value so their income, opportunities and confidence naturally increases. Kay combines private one-on-one, VIP mentoring with group mentoring, speaking and hosts her annual 3-day Live Event ’Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE”. She also hosts her weekly podcast radio show ‘Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard’ downloadable from her site or on iTunes.

Using insights from her own +20 year corporate career, Kay shows her clients how to plan out their next moves in their business or career. She also shows women how ‘accessorise’ and enhance their day-to-day interactions along the way making them more comfortable, compelling and engaging. They boost their income, prospects and attract more lucrative opportunities as a result as Kay shows her clients how to add true, personal sparkle. Both to themselves and to what they say.

Working with Kay, her clients discover how to be confident, assertive, attract and keep attention and then ask for and get what they want. It’s a learnable skill to ask for what you want, to persuade, influence and get other people engaged and into action – both in writing and face-to-face. Kay’s developed step-by-step systems for her clients to learn, follow and use the steps every day and everywhere.

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay is the Author of the international #1 bestseller ‘The A to Z of Being Understood’. She’s also a contributing Author in 4 other #1 best-selling books and annually hosts a 3-day Live Event in London for professional women: Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE. With her straightforward and easy manner, Kay regularly features in magazines and publications. She’s a featured expert in GLAMOUR Magazine in “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Playing Hardball” and a regular guest blogger for We Are The City, a hub network and content site for professional women.

During her 20-year corporate career, Kay worked in the City of London and in Paris to Director level as part of a successful, mainly male, fast-paced team of global insurance brokers. Negotiating multi-million pound, industrial property insurance contracts around the world, she learned (often by her own mistakes along the way) how to – and crucially how not to – get heard, valued and noticed, for the right reasons. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently!

Kay and her husband live close to London with their 3 rescue sighthounds. A lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Find out much more at www.kaywhite.com.

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