Positive Linking eZine: May 25, 2018

kay white enewsletter

Volume 173 | 25 May 2018

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

Well, this week is all about re-entry following a 3 day Mastermind Retreat I hosted for my VIP Golden Circle clients. Crikey – it’s always special when we gather together but this time it seemed just that bit extra special! Each woman had time for her own Mastermind experience and we, myself and the other Circle members become her Board of Directors. We offer guidance, input, insights, strategies and are, at times, confronting in a caring way.

We went to a boutique countryside hotel and had time enjoying the scenery as well as focussing on the Mastermind topics which were SO diverse.

Enjoying a private room dinner together, the dress code was Bring The Bling so, of course, we did. What I realise %$firstname$% in all this focussed, special time is how much every woman appreciates being up close and personal with each other.

We all work, in one way, shape or form, remotely these days with many people never seeing, in the flesh, their team or team leader. It’s the way the world works and, for connection, there still is that extra magic which comes from meeting together. Our Golden Circle members join up 3 times per month on a telephone call to focus on a specialist subject, to discuss the subject and implement and apply it and then to discuss personal status and goals at work – and at home. It’s special and yet, when we meet LIVE it’s even more special.

It’s easy to underestimate and I really encourage you – as I do myself – to get out from behind your computer and show up in the flesh. I’m doing just that today when I’m honoured to lead a session on Be More Assertive at the We Are Future Leaders Conference in London. Show up and sparkle? Well, of course I will %$firstname$%.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,


Let’s connect even more

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PS – Oscar Wilde said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR)

Depending where you are in the world, you’ve probably heard of GDPR which is a long-overdue and comprehensive update of the way personal data is gathered, stored and then used.

Just to reassure you, I never share any information held about you to any third parties. We hold your email, your first and last name (if you supplied it when you registered to receive information from me) and, if you’ve been or are an investing client, your address.

I send this eZine out to you every fortnight and only ever send you information about career strategies and relating to career progress and life success centered around your career moves.

If you would prefer not to receive them now or at any time in the future, please just unsubscribe and you’ll be removed from our records.

You’ll find the Unsubscribe button at the bottom of this email which is where it’s always been. You, like me %$firstname$%, always have a choice to stay in touch.

Here’s our newly revised Privacy Policy which makes things clearer and more secure for us all.


My 2nd Book is In The Mix! – In the Design Studio

Whilst a number of beady-eyed Editors are on the case at the moment, The Official Book Launch Party in London is booked and confirmed for the evening of Thursday 4th October I’d LOVE you to be there- just jot the date for now and it will be in London, in the City.

The Launch Party venue is so cool too. We finalised it this week and it makes me squeal with excitement – only clue I can give you at the moment is “it’s high in the sky” and it involves a circle.

Like everything, you get out what you put in and I’ve poured my experience, client’s stories, strategies and inspirations into this book about continual, strategic career success for women. Stay tuned!

One of my own mentors and women I look to for inspiration is Dr Lois Frankel has already given me her testimonial to support the book after she read manuscript:

“In her inimitable way, Kay White provides career guidance you can really use and it does it with intelligence, humour, and heart. Real-time examples, tangible tools and tips, and tons of encouragement along the way makes this book the one that will coach you to your next career move – and the one after that.”

Dr. Lois Frankel, author of the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling business bible for women, Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office

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How Often Are You Up Close – and Personal?

There’s no substitute for the ‘LIVE’ or personalised version of You

It’s easy to get lulled into this false sense of reality isn’t it?

Instead of picking up the phone to speak to someone, you drop them an email or send them a message or a text. Instead of dropping someone a note, you can instant message, Skype message or send them an eCard. Instead of going to a networking event, social gathering, exhibition or event, you can show up online. All of these ways of being in touch, of showing up on the radar, are virtually instant and take very little effort. They work too, to an extent. There’s also a darker side too, a sense of disconnectedness.

What I also know to be true is this. There is nothing like being there in-person, in-the-room and pressing the flesh with other people. The energy, the sense of connectedness, the opportunity to take yourself out of your environment and put yourself in another, all adds to the mix and what comes out of that is so very different than being ‘virtual’.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m the first to enjoy, leverage and actively revel in all the gizmos and ways of working with people virtually. It’s something I’ve come to love about working in this ‘small world’ way. Working with a client who was based in Melbourne and mentoring her to navigate herself successfully to a promotion proved the point. We never met and are unlikely to.

What is often underestimated though is how disconnected we can feel and be perceived, when we take ourselves, our personalised selves, out of the mix too much and too regularly – often without necessarily being conscious of it.

Let me ask you a few quick questions.

  • Have you ever emailed someone who’s in the same room/office as you because you can’t face or make time to go across and speak to them?

  • Have you ever emailed someone instead of calling them as an easy ‘get out’?

  • Have you ever texted someone a ‘round robin’ Thank You note instead of either calling or writing them a personal note?

  • Do you find yourself sending an ‘Apologies’ meeting alert rather than calling the person to say you can’t attend?

  • Have you ever wished you’d met up with someone in person sooner rather than wasting time going back/forth on email?

I know, like me, some – or all – of your answers will be a ‘Yes’. I ask myself, just before sending an email or text, is this the best way to be in touch today?

Clients constantly tell me that they can’t “get people to do what they want them to” or they struggle to get people to respond to them. When pressed, it’s often because they lack connection with the other person/s. That’s where the secret of ‘pressing the flesh’ or personalising can change things in an instant.

You don’t have to spend your life bouncing around the world on planes or being so busy going to meetings or writing notes you never give yourself time to implement or think. No, of course not. I don’t either.

Here are a few starters for you if you decide to show up ‘personally’ more than you are.

  • When you go to email someone, pick up the phone and call instead. Even if you leave a voicemail and send an email afterwards, you connected, you made the effort. They hear your ‘real life’ voice. It means something, to them.

  • Instead of sending an RSVP by email – call or drop a personal, hand-written note instead. Your voice, your writing all counts more as you being ‘in person’.

  • When you look at an invitation and think “No, too busy” – just ask yourself “How can I make it work so I can go?” so you let people see you and be with you, even for some of the time if not all of it, as you with them.

  • When you do decide to show up in person, instead of hanging with people you know, challenge yourself to meet and greet at least 5 people you’ve never met before. You only have to be open to asking them a few questions and, off you go!

  • When you’re with other people, be more interested in them, rather than being interested in them being interested in you. That’s where the true magic is – they magically become more interested in you anyway – aha!

Daniel Goleman who wrote the transformational – and much quoted – book ‘Emotional Intelligence’ says “When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection – or compassionate action.”

I believe he’s right. A big piece of that is coming forward to make a personalised – not impersonalised – connection. Go on, I dare you.

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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“Being a member of the Circle is simply amazing.”

“My fellow members are extremely encouraging and supportive, cheering me all the way when I make my moves and I can tap into a support network 24/7. What’s surprising is that we all have similar fears and concerns though we are on very different career paths. The strength of the Circle is the close-knit group of career women, providing support and constructive challenge and all led with care and experience by Kay and her team.

During my time inside the VIP Golden Circle, I have become a Non-Executive Director, because I dared to step out. I’m also working in sectors which, previously, I have thought myself ineligible to work in. It’s all about having the confidence and the tools with which to be impactful in your career and to trust yourself as you make assertive moves in your life.

My message to anyone considering joining Kay’s VIP Golden Circle is simply that this amazing mentorship group is a supportive and challenging circle, enabling you to power up the career you truly deserve and have a lot of fun and strategy at the same time.


Kay's Owl

D is for Driven, Dynamic, Deserving

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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Nice Girls Don’t Get The Corner Office

Dr Lois Frankel wrote her original book in 2004 and 10 years later she wrote a follow up book entitled Nice Girls Still Don’t Get The Corner Office. I really recommend it to you.

Dr Frankel is of course right. To get and stay in ‘the corner office’ you have to make tough decisions, you must choose sometimes between being liked and being respected, you have to trade your time wisely and balance your personal and professional life as if your life depends on it – it does. You’re required to step up in a way which often demands you develop and display different skills from the ones that got you into the so-called corner office in the first place.

Lois’ book helps you understand what they are and my 2nd book, due in October this year, will show you what to look for and do, and stop and start to keep your career moving without losing yourself.

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite

Shoe Trees!

If you’ve ever (I know I have) bought shoes you couldn’t resist because of the price or the simple “oh my” beauty of them and then wondered HOW you’ll walk in them, I have something for you!

Having feet which are tricky to find shoes for (I’m a 43 when most UK shoes go to a 42) when I find shoes which fit me I also use shoe trees to make them more comfortable if they’re a little tight or the leather feels hard.

After a couple of days with the shoe trees inside them – bingo, 95% of the time they’re softer and more comfortable. Just find shoe trees in your size and off you go %$firstname$%.

It’s SO uncomfortable feeling you have feet on fire and these help you avoid that.

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About Kay

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ‘sell their soul’.

Running her own multiple 6-figure coaching & mentoring business for over 10 years, Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity while being true to themselves.

Kay’s clients learn how to present themselves most effectively at work and to combine strategic, planned career move-making steps with influencing skills. She also teaches compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets around, for example, money, ambition and worthiness. She draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the male-dominated world of London insurance broking. Kay started her career at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own coaching business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Comfortable on her feet, Kay regularly hosts Live Events (for 5 years, her annual 3-Day Live Event – Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE – has shown corporate career women how to attract promotion, recognition and rewards, all without selling their souls). Stay tuned for news about a suite of Day of Magic Experience Events for 2018.

Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com

Living close to London with rescue sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, much of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he knows he’s part of the pack.

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