Positive Linking eZine: November 11, 2016

kay white enewsletter

Volume 142 |  11 November 2016  

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

Well, it’s a time of great change and evolution on so many levels. This week has been a little emotional and discombobulating in places – especially in the U.S. – and it’s always good to slow things down a little and examine what makes you feel ‘off’ if you do. I have.

We have so much change surrounding us at the moment and affecting us – we all do if you look closely. We saw our niece, Grace, this weekend who was back from Uni on a flying visit and – as it should be – she loves her new City (Bath) and home doesn’t feel like home in the same way anymore. We all have to adjust to that and let her go. Our nephew the same.

With so much polarising of opinions with the U.S. elections this week and the emotional outpouring difficult to avoid, that too has an effect. What I do realise though, when considering these evolutions is that it’s not that change happens, it’s how you meet it and respond to it that counts. I have a little something for you to use which will help you assess and plan based on evolutions this year. See below.

It was 15 years ago this week when I voted in Snowy White as my husband. It was a great decision and it’s been an amazing ride together – including births, deaths, marriages, divorces, hounds, resignations, business building, illness, health you name it, it’s touched us in some way and we’ve ridden it so far. There are no guarantees though, are there %$firstname$%? I never take it all for granted.

Someone wisely told me recently that “it takes a certain set of skills to get married and it takes a completely different set of skills to stay married”. In my experience, I know they’re right.

As you can see, Snowy and I had very different hairstyles 15 years ago but – so far – he’s the only one who’s chosen to grow a beard!

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™

3-Day LIVE Event 2017

I believe in setting an intention and going with it %$firstname$%. If you wished you could have been there with us this year and know you need to be there in 2017, here’s the date and it will be in London again. The contract for the room is close to being signed and, already, women are telling me “I’m coming next year – I know I need to be there”.

So. Just saying. If you do too, now you know the when. The ‘how’ will work itself out….. 5, 6, 7 October 2017.

Lights, Camera, ACTION!

This weekend I’m going into a recording studio in London to be a featured guest on a TV Programme “A Different Kind Of Woman”. I met with the Producer earlier this week to discuss my responses to some of the questions they want to pose about ‘Coping With Rejection’. What was interesting was being very clear with what I want to get across without any prompting or notes – it’s always good to be prepared AND to stay loose in that you follow the energy of the conversation.

It’s exciting and a little nerve-wracking and the programme airs on SKY TV on 27 November.

Psychologies – December 2016 Issue

Having worked with one of the Editing team of Psychologies Magazine, Ellen Tout, during the Summer, the December 2016 Issue (due out on 28th October 2016) will feature Ellen and my work together. Ellen was struggling to step forward, make herself heard and bring her ideas to the table at work.

Many things seemed to change for the better for Ellen as we worked together and she’s written up her experience and the results in the magazine.

You can see what she has to say in this “Climb Every Mountain” piece.

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How to Embrace the Challenge of Change

Go with the flow of the opportunities

It’s one of my go-to books. Each year I read ‘Who Moved My Cheese’ by Ken Blanchard which reminds me how to recognise change and expect it. Not to sit like a rabbit in the headlights and hold my head saying things aren’t fair.

Well, one of the only things you can rely on is that everything is shifting and changing all the time.

Relationships, market conditions, policies, who’s who, technology and why are we surprised?

When you consider what was important to you when you were 5, 15, 25, 35, 45 and so on – you can tell that for the most part, the key drivers for you have changed.

At 5 you probably wanted to have the newest popular toy, at 15 a boyfriend or girlfriend and good grades, at 25 more money to buy your own place, 35 a child or a partner (or a new partner) and so on. Your landscape changed, your desires changed or, as it says in the book, your cheese naturally moved.

When you take a look then at your workplace or industry these days, where companies have to be nimble and respond to market conditions to be able to stay in business, why would it be any different? One of the things I’ve learned is that there is no ‘job for life’ anymore and on some levels that’s a good thing.

Companies can’t offer the certainty of it and nor can we, or should we, rely on it. That, in itself, gives us walk-ability. The essence being keeping your eyes and ears open to what’s going on as well as your mind open to how it works for you. Not if, but how? If you don’t believe you want to make it work then that’s where your opportunities to move your cheese lie. They lie with you.

As it says in the book “Every company wants to survive in the future but also stay competitive. While in the past we may have wanted loyal employees, today we need flexible people who are not possessive about ‘the way we do things around here’”.

Here’s a simple set of incisive questions I ask myself and my clients when we see change (another) on the horizon:

  • Where are the opportunities in here for you?

  • What will you have to let go of to embrace the opportunities?

  • What will be the threats?

  • What’s the worst that can happen and how will you handle it?

  • What would you tell me to do if we swapped places?

We all know intuitively it’s an inside job. Change. It’s an inside job. How you think about it, approach it, what you make it mean, how you talk about it, how you embrace it and how you allow it to stretch you so you grow with the flow of it.

When you come up against yourself resisting the flow of change either inside of you or external to you, remind yourself of how much change you’ve encountered, handled and benefitted from. Then remind yourself to choose how to approach it. Choose to approach change. Always. All ways.

There’s a Native American quote I love which is “It is always best to ride the horse the direction it’s going.” Indeed.

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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Sam S. is a Manager in a large UK public organisation and she joined one of my private small groups to work on her confidence in managing her team and in preparing herself for in-house interviews.

We also worked together one-to-one as a VIP client.

“Before I worked with Kay I just assumed everyone would appreciate what I was doing and kept a fairly low-profile day-to-day. I’d been passed over for a promotion and was pretty down when I met Kay. She helped me get really clear about how to own and sell my abilities and talk about them easily – it paid off in a recent interview. I was much more prepared this time and I hit all the key points I wanted to in my interview and got the job!

My boss even said the Board was very impressed with me saying I came across as a ‘friendly, relaxed, good all-rounder’” Go Sam!

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S is also for Strategic, Smart, Salary increase

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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YOUR 2016 Year End Review & 2017 Planning Guide

Give yourself the gift of YOUR OWN Year-End Review.

It’s easy to just keep going and dive in to 2017 without taking the lessons, messages and developments from your 2016 with you.

I’ve created 2 special 2017 Career-Accelerating tools for you.

YOUR 2016 Year-End Review & 2017 Planning Guide. Carefully-crafted questions for you to capture your evolution and developments from 2016. Combine these with a way to plan for what you want in 2017. All together in one nifty, yours-to-keep document.

PLUS – in January 2017, let me show you how to Ask for what you want. Take the goals and clarity you’ve achieved from the Planning Guide and put them into action by learning strategic ways to ask. Not wait, hint and hope. Ask and expect to receive.

All the details are here for you.

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite 

Stop faffing and box yourself in!

Do you often do everything else but the thing you know you really want to (and should) be doing? I know how easy it is to tidy your cupboards, empty the dishwasher, call a friend and avoid doing ‘the thing’.

This is something I try which works for me. I give myself a chunk of time on my handy iPhone timer – say 45 minutes, which is enough time to get going but not too long to overwhelm yourself – and that’s all I do. No emails, calls, tidying – just starting or continuing with the task I’ve been avoiding!

I find it helps me to box myself in like this. I remember when I created my website for my 3-Day Live Event back in 2013 – I had to do this a number of times. Saying to Snowy, “Whatever you hear, however bad the language, don’t let me out!”

As it turned out it was easier than I thought but only because I boxed myself in and committed to getting it done. See if or how it helps you %$firstname$%. And, GO!

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About Kay

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ‘sell their soul’.

Running her own multiple 6-figure coaching & mentoring business for over 10 years, Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity while being true to themselves.

Kay’s clients learn how to present themselves most effectively at work and to combine strategic, planned career move-making steps with influencing skills. She also teaches compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets around, for example, money, ambition and worthiness. She draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the male-dominated world of London insurance broking. Kay started her career at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own coaching business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Hosting an annual 3-day Live Event for corporate career women “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE” Kay encourages and shows women how to be the best, most valuable version of themselves so they’re ready to be paid what their worth and go for what they want with certainty. Crucially too, how to have more ease and more fun as you plan your way forward.

Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com

Living close to London with sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, lots of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside. Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he’s part of the pack.

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