Positive Linking eZine: November 20, 2015

kay white enewsletter

Volume 122 | 20 November 2015  

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

I can sometimes be a bit of a bull in a china shop, as the phrase goes, when I decide to take action on something. I look at the angles, assess what I want to have happen and then jump in to action. It’s something I advocate with my clients who, as career women, can hold themselves back by ‘getting ready to get ready’. Often the opportunity goes to someone else who was ready to say ‘Yes’. I do, however, also advocate preparation and planning.

These last couple of weeks I’ve been doing a fair bit of both. I put myself in the position of being the learner again and invested in a 2 day workshop led by Brené Brown. She became hugely popular as a result of her TED Talk filmed in 2010 and watched now over 22 million times. “The Power of Vulnerability” is the title and I truly recommend it to you. Preparing to go took a little thought and consideration with hound-care, husband-care and business-care in mind! It was so worth it. How often do you invest in yourself and put yourself in the position of being the learner? At the event, I met with Jeanette and Alison, both of whom attended my own annual 3-Day Live Event and it was special to be in the audience with them too.

So many people wait for their companies to tell them “I think you should go on a course about XYZ” rather than deciding for themselves they want to improve, learn, expand in an area and choosing where to do that. I did a lot of that when I was navigating my own corporate career – I took myself off to Nice in the South of France and paid for my own 2-week intensive French course. My boss at the time, then paid for the flights and accommodation because he could see my commitment. It was because I took action for myself, that it happened.

Another thing I’ve also planned for is a clothing cull! A client recommended a book to me (see below in the Sparkly Soundbite) about the magic that happens when you brutally tidy up. Not just move a few things but really pull everything out of every cupboard, drawer, nook and cranny. Talk about liberating and, ironically, despite the lorry load of charity shop bags, I have so much more to wear!

What are you preparing and planning for which will make a big difference to your life %$firstname$%? I recommend preparing and then I recommend jumping into action and trusting the outcome.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warmly to you %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™

3-Day LIVE Event 2016

Shall I keep you posted?

If you know you need to step up and accelerate your success at work AND allow yourself to be seen, valued and heard – do be there in 2016. Here’s the date and it will be in London again.

9, 10, 11 June 2016.

Here’s where you can let me know you want to be kept in the loop AND receive extra resources in advance.

Oh and below, here’s a quick video showing a little of what happened in March this year and what you’ve got in store in 2016. Take a few moments to see what comes up for ambitious women like you and what happens when you put yourself into an intentional space like this.

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Releasing an Audio Book – Soon!

After years of being asked “When are you going to turn your book into an audio book Kay?” I now have!

The interesting thing about making the decision to do this Kay is that when enough people tell you the same thing, pay attention. They’re on to something and see something for you which often you’ve not seen, yet.

You’ll be able to access all the information, from A to Z, in your car, on the running machine and – if you’re like me – when you’re walking the dog! The audios are now in production with music being added, coughs and trip ups being removed (and the odd swear word) and touches of musical fairy dust too.

We’re just about to introduce it on Audible and iBooks, Barnes & Noble and other global outlets and also it will be accessible via my website at kaywhite.com with a few added extras! Stay tuned. 

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Move on when you’re ready %$firstname$%

How to avoid being stuck in a conversation

We’ve all been there haven’t we? You’re at a social function, a networking event, a business conference and your intention is to circulate, meet new people, catch up with colleagues and friends – and then you get stuck. You feel you can’t move or it’s rude to and often you end up apologising for even wanting to.

What started off as an exchange of ideas can then turn into a one-way or dead end street where someone goes from being interesting and helpful, for example, to dull and droning on.

Maybe they don’t value their time; they certainly don’t value yours. It’s an interesting conundrum. If you know you’re ready to move on and it’s time to get going, how do you politely, assertively and intentionally wind up that conversation and move on to your next one?

Firstly I put to you, there’s the ‘mind’ piece. If you know your intention is to meet people, to find out how people are doing, to contribute where you can and to show up in a way that means people remember you were there, well then that’s the first thing to keep in mind. You can also assume other people will have a positive intention similar to that. No-one’s ever going to say to you “Oh no, I only came here to bang on about myself, to tell people how great I think I am, try and sell everyone something and then to leave having met as few people as possible” – they just won’t ever say that, even if it is their intention.

Unfortunately, some people, unconsciously or otherwise, do have that very intention and when you find yourself stuck it can be really tricky to move on without being rude or finding yourself apologising.

To respectfully and assertively steer yourself away – and this works just as well socially as it does professionally – you need to be able to say a couple of things really clearly. So, I’ve chosen for you, from my extensive ‘Treasure Chest’ of ways and words, phrases and angles, a simple example you can use straight away. Plus of course, the behind-the-curtain thinking in saying it.

It goes like this:

Well, it’s been great chatting with you Jane/John and I know you’ll be wanting to chat with other people too so I won’t monopolise you any more and ABC etc.

Behind-the-curtain thinking:

  • The word ‘Well’ immediately implies a change in rhythm or tempo is about to occur.

  • “It’s been great chatting with you” – you’re firmly putting it in the past tense i.e. it’s over.

  • “I know you’ll be wanting” tells the other person what you assume to be true and you’re presuming that their intention is to “chat with other people too”.

  • “I won’t monopolise you anymore” – this is where you take the responsibility for what could be happening but in reality, you’re ready to disengage. It’s both assertive and self-deprecating at the same time. A simple, savvy combination.

  • “and ABC…” is where you say what happens next – if anything. “and I’ll call you next week” or “and thanks for your advice” or “and enjoy the rest of your evening too”. Well, now we can just both move on. Bye for now.

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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Thelma P., Education Sales Specialist, Leading Software Company, USA

Thelma invested privately in a VIP Accelerator Day with me and shares:

“My approaches to the Sales Team were falling flat and I found it hard to get reactions and responses from them to include me in sales discussions and consider me as part of the core Sales Team. Before working with Kay I was at the point of frustration and it was affecting my confidence.

Kay quickly showed me how to hook and keep attention when I engaged with the Sales Team over email and when I present at Sales Meetings. I use her Email and Phone systems daily and really enjoy following the steps which make communicating much more clear, sensible, effective AND from the heart.”

Kay's Owl

T is for Thelma and Trust, Think, Thrive

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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VIP Half Day Together

(Only 3 spots available)

Since being told regularly “I need to work privately with you Kay – I can’t get ahead at work, I’m stuck” or “I’m missing out on opportunities because people don’t see the value of what I do” – I’ve introduced the opportunity of focussed, one-to-one VIP half-days with me.

We’re able to dig in together and work on exactly the piece you need there and then. Approach 2016 with more confidence, certainty and conviction and together let’s: Private VIP

  • Carry out Career Path Audit so you understand your evolution

  • Prepare yourself for promotion – why now and what do you offer and what’s it worth?

  • Craft important emails, applications or personal statements using influence and persuasion

  • Follow my tried & tested steps to finally write a CV/Resume which attracts opportunities and makes your value shine through. Let me show you the words to use and why at the same time.

  • Plan Interview strategies and follow up confidently afterwards

All personalised just for you. We get together either in person, on the phone %$firstname$% or on Skype. Clients always get a clear step-by-step plan and a sense of being “rewired and rebooted” ready to show up in 2016 in a more confident, credible way. A recent VIP meeting led to my client being offered 4 different career opportunities because of the strength of her CV.

To find out more about if and how a VIP Half-Day with me will work for you, virtually or in person, just get in touch with Amanda, my Assistant and put “VIP” in the title, and she’ll quickly send you an Application. From there, we’ll get together on a private call and both decide if and how it makes sense for us to work together in this way within the next 4 weeks. Before Chrismas you could give yourself the gift of a real career boost.

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite

The book which has sparked my tidying-up spell is one I recommend to you if you know it’s time to weed things out and declutter your personal space for good.

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up was recommended to me by a VIP Client as her tidying out and tidying up had been a major focus for her between our private sessions. Intrigued, I looked it up and then read it as preparation for my own Life-Changing Magic!

Whilst I’m maybe not as committed to some of the recommendations I most certainly am committed to about 90% of them and so far, so great. Even my husband Snowy has asked me to help him cull his own wardrobes. Yay – at last!

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About Kay

About Kay White

Kay White works with experienced business women from all around the world (and some very smart men) and shows them – with a combination of language and strategic moves – how to own, position and speak of their value so their income, opportunities and confidence naturally increases. Kay combines private one-on-one, VIP mentoring with group mentoring, speaking and hosts her annual 3-day Live Event ’Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE”. She also hosts her weekly podcast radio show downloadable from her site or on iTunes.

Using insights from her own +20 year corporate career, Kay shows her clients how to plan out their next moves in their business or career. She also shows women how ‘accessorise’ and enhance their day-to-day interactions along the way making them more comfortable, compelling and engaging. They boost their income, prospects and attract more lucrative opportunities as a result as Kay shows her clients how to add true, personal sparkle. Both to themselves and to what they say.

Working with Kay, her clients discover how to be confident, assertive, attract and keep attention and then ask for and get what they want. It’s a learnable skill to ask for what you want, to persuade, influence and get other people engaged and into action – both in writing and face-to-face. Kay’s developed step-by-step systems for her clients to learn, follow and use the steps every day and everywhere.

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay is the Author of the international #1 bestseller ‘The A to Z of Being Understood’ and Founder of Way Forward Solutions Ltd, a multiple 6-figure private company. Kay annually hosts a 3-day Live Event in London for professional women: Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE. With her straightforward and easy manner, Kay regularly features in magazines and publications. She’s a featured expert in GLAMOUR Magazine in “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Playing Hardball” and a regular guest blogger for We Are The City, a hub network and content site for professional women.

During her 20-year corporate career, Kay worked in the City of London and in Paris to Director level as part of a successful, mainly male, fast-paced team of global insurance brokers. Negotiating multi-million pound, industrial property insurance contracts around the world, she learned (often by her own mistakes along the way) how to – and crucially how not to – get heard, valued and noticed, for the right reasons. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Kay and her husband live close to London with their sighthounds. A lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Find out much more at www.kaywhite.com.

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