Positive Linking eZine: November 25, 2016

kay white enewsletter

Volume 143 |  25 November 2016  

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

You know sometimes how you just ‘need to get away’? Well, I know that feeling and so do many of my clients. One of the private VIP mentoring groups I lead ‘Retreated’ together last week and wow, what an experience. A change of scenery is one thing and a break from the routine is part of it and – there’s what comes up when you focus on yourself and others like you. With one of our members flying in from the US, we came together in a boutique hotel in the countryside and I laid out a buffet of style, strategy, sparkle, community, sharing and true, purposeful introspection. How often do you indulge in and enjoy that for yourself %$firstname$% in corporate life? I’m pretty sure the answer is ‘rarely Kay’.

As well as planning out moves, next steps, angles for promotion and increased visibility and recognition at work, we went and had their colours analysed and some to have them refreshed. We laughed at the fact that one minute we were focusing on their career paths and next savvy steps they’ll be taking and then, later the same day, we were in our underwear together trying on clothes and bling and looking, well, fabulous!

Here we are just before having a private meal together where the conversation flowed way past my planned bedtime! It was magical on so many levels.

Snowy joined us for lunch on the Saturday and said “it was like being with women who’ve really come on fire” – it was %$firstname$%. They have, now they’ve really got how personally powerful and valuable they truly are. What about you? See below for a little guidance.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,


Let’s connect even more

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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™

3-Day LIVE Event 2017

I believe in setting an intention and going with it %$firstname$%. If you wished you could have been there with us this year and know you need to be there in 2017, here’s the date and it will be in London again. The contract for the room is close to being signed and, already, women are telling me “I’m coming next year – I know I need to be there”.

So. Just saying. If you do too, now you know the when. The ‘how’ will work itself out….. 5, 6, 7 October 2017.


TV Programme – Lights, Camera, ACTION!

A couple of weeks ago I went into a recording studio in London to be a featured guest on a TV Programme “A Different Kind Of Woman”. The experience was both fun and a little nerve-wracking but – drinking my own medicine – I listened closely and trusted myself that I’d know what I wanted to say. I did!

The focus was ‘Coping with Rejection’ and it felt a well-rounded discussion including interviews with people on the streets of London. Excited to see how it all comes together.

The programme airs on SKY TV on Channel 203 on 27 November at 4pm UK.

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Do you show them what you’re made of?

Remember your brilliance so others can reward you for it.

If you’ve ever heard yourself say any of the following, it gives us a sign you’ve forgotten some of the things that you’re really good at or you’ve forgotten some of the key pieces of your career and life journey.

If you ever think these things and then you don’t speak, you’ll know you’re undervaluing yourself or being undervalued or underselling yourself.

  • “I want to be taken more seriously”

  • “I’m often treated like a secretary rather than a director”

  • “I end up undercutting myself – I give people a price for my services or the salary I want and then I undercut myself and backtrack or apologise”

Are you able to hear one or more things you’ve either said or thought in there? I can promise you I’ve heard these phrases so many times in different formats, in different ways and places. I know just like I’m sure you do, that it’s because that person saying those things doesn’t own or express the value, the importance, the difference that their work makes. So, by definition, other people don’t appreciate it, feel how they value it or how valuable it is. How they think about it is SO key. It also tells me that they don’t recognise it for themselves. And by definition, they don’t recognise or ‘market’ their worth. Aha.

Now, in general, we don’t like to think about marketing ourselves but, let’s be honest – you do need to be offering yourself and putting yourself forward in the workplace. Showing people what you’re about. So, try this.

If you want to think about it in a marketing sense, think about a four-bedroom house an estate agent is selling and one of the bedrooms is being used as a study. If you’re going to try sell the house, you have to turn that study-style bedroom into a bedroom again because people will look at your house and value it as a three-bedroom house with a study rather than what it is that you’re truly offering which is a four-bedroom house.

They kind of know it on one level, but one of the bedrooms is a study and they’re not seeing it as a four-bedroom house. They have to see it. And an estate agent said to me, “Never underestimate how people need to be shown that fourth bedroom rather than have to imagine it or be told about it.”

It’s the same with you and me.

Never underestimate or assume people get how special and valuable what you do really is. They have to see it or experience it or have it shown to them. Clearly. Don’t assume they can see it for you. They rarely can.

Show them what you’re made of. Consider the impact of your work. Not your ‘To Do’ list.

You owe it to yourself. Why wouldn’t you maximise the opportunities which are so close sometimes you don’t see them? If you help others see your value, they help guide you towards the opportunities too.

My ex-colleague James saw my gifts more clearly than I did and guided me on to the path to where I am now. He asked if I’d heard of coaching back in 2005 when it was virtually unheard of here in the UK. He said I’d always been approachable, smart-thinking, curious and able to connect with people quickly. He guided me to take that first step to what I’m doing now. Pay attention to what people see for you. It’s often pure gold!

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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Nick Wharmby of Wharmby Agencies Ltd and we worked privately together on his next moves as he was stuck and feeling a little lost.

After setting up and running a successful +£20million business for over 30 years Nick felt he’d come to a cross-roads and was ready to take stock and see where he could really add value next. So – as a smart and open-to-change man – Nick took a leap of faith! His wife Ali, already a client of mine, recommended we work together.

Kay and I worked through the areas in question – worked on strengths and weaknesses as well as hopes and aspirations– and gradually came to some conclusions. Working privately with Kay was a great way of starting to look at what I was doing – and what I wanted to do going forward – and we uncovered some things I hadn’t thought of to consider. She’s intuitive, firm and really listens.

What surprised me was the ease with which I could go through the thought process with her and the suitability of the conclusions drawn to my lifestyle and what I want to do going forward. Go me!

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N is for Nick and: Natural, Nurture, Natty-dresser!

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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YOUR 2016 Year End Review & 2017 Planning Guide

Give yourself the gift of YOUR OWN Year-End Review.

It’s easy to just keep going and dive in to 2017 without taking the lessons, messages and developments from your 2016 with you.

I’ve created 2 special 2017 Career-Accelerating tools for you.

1.     YOUR 2016 Year-End Review & 2017 Planning Guide. Carefully-crafted questions for you to capture your evolution and developments from 2016. Combine these with a way to plan for what you want in 2017. All together in one nifty, yours-to-keep document.

2.     PLUS – in January 2017, let me show you how to Ask for what you want. Take the goals and clarity you’ve achieved from the Planning Guide and put them into action by learning strategic ways to ask. Not wait, hint and hope. Ask and expect to receive.

All the details are here for you.

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite 

Move your mood with music!

Remember the power of music when you’re stuck, frustrated or just feeling a bit plain ‘meh’.

DancerA woman asked me what I do to pick myself up or motivate myself when I’m a bit down or stuck, especially as I work from home without a team around me.

My instinctive answer was ‘play loud dance music very loudly’. And it’s true %$firstname$%, I do.

When I’ve either had a long stretch of concentrated silence, back-to-back client mentoring sessions or just a day when I feel a bit low-key, I put on music – loudly – and it lifts me, virtually instantly. It’s easily underestimated. 

As I said this to the audience when I was asked about what it is I listen to, I’ve got two instant Oldies but Goldies ‘go to’ tracks.

Sandstorm by Darude if I want move-me music without singing and then it’s

Good Feeling by Flo-rida if I want to sing it out LOUDLY too.

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About Kay

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ‘sell their soul’.

Running her own multiple 6-figure coaching & mentoring business for over 10 years, Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity while being true to themselves.

Kay’s clients learn how to present themselves most effectively at work and to combine strategic, planned career move-making steps with influencing skills. She also teaches compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets around, for example, money, ambition and worthiness. She draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the male-dominated world of London insurance broking. Kay started her career at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own coaching business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Hosting an annual 3-day Live Event for corporate career women “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE” Kay encourages and shows women how to be the best, most valuable version of themselves so they’re ready to be paid what their worth and go for what they want with certainty. Crucially too, how to have more ease and more fun as you plan your way forward.

Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com

Living close to London with sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, lots of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside. Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he’s part of the pack.

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