Positive Linking eZine: November 6, 2015

kay white enewsletter

Volume 121 | 6 November 2015  

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

Well, there’s what you plan and then there’s what actually happens. This last week or so has been a rollercoaster of power issues, tech pixies playing tricks and being out of touch without planning to be – and loving it!

We’ve been having a bathroom updated and whilst singing builders who shout at each other doesn’t phase me normally, when you throw into the mix continual power outages as a result of some dodgy wiring, then it tested me. My normal ‘go with the flow’ sentimentality was definitely waning, particularly when I was repeatedly cut off during calls, had to write a report by candlelight, shower in our neighbours’ house and boil water on the hob. Talk about appreciate things we take for granted %$firstname$%. When everything was finally sorted out, I virtually cartwheeled around the house with lighting, heat, music, WiFi and all the things we take for granted – or are lucky enough to take for granted – back in service.

As I said to a friend, it truly was a ‘quality problem’ which I tried to keep in proportion i.e. no one was hurt, ill or struggling. It does test you though when you run a multiple 6 figure business from your home office and you’re curled up on the floor, by the old analogue phone, with a client working on her career strategy.

Walking along the beach at the weekend with no WiFi, landline or mobile signal to even think about did blow the remaining cobwebs away and it was a relief to switch all the gizmos to ‘Off’. I also had a double drum lesson with my long-suffering teacher, Neil. That helped too.

Notice what you notice when you power down, unplug and let all the frantic connectivity go. It’s worth doing intentionally, more than just occasionally. I’m going to.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warmly to you %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™

3-Day LIVE Event 2016

Shall I keep you posted?

If you know you need to step up and accelerate your success at work AND allow yourself to be seen, valued and heard – do be there in 2016. Here’s the date and it will be in London again.

9, 10, 11 June 2016.

Here’s where you can let me know you want to be kept in the loop AND receive extra resources in advance.

Oh and below, here’s a quick video showing a little of what happened in March and what you’ve got in store in 2016. Take a few moments to see what comes up for ambitious women like you and what happens when you put yourself into an intentional space like this.

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Releasing an Audio Book – In 2 Weeks….

After years of being asked “When are you going to turn your book into an audio book Kay?” I now have!

The interesting thing about making the decision to do this Kay is that when enough people tell you the same thing, pay attention. They’re on to something and see something for you which often you’ve not seen, yet.

You’ll be able to access all the information, from A to Z, in your car, on the running machine and – if you’re like me – when you’re walking the dog! The audios are now in production with music being added, coughs and trip ups being removed (and the odd swear word) and touches of musical fairy dust too.

We’re just about to introduce it on Audible and iBooks, Barnes & Noble and other global outlets and also it will be accessible via my website at kaywhite.com with a few added extras! Stay tuned. 

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Practice your pillow talk.

Engage as you explain

It’s so easy to lose your message, your audience, their attention, their trust by using ‘weasel’ words. By using ‘gobbledeegook’ if you will – and it’s everywhere, like an epidemic.

With the pace of information being shared, the cultures which must be crossed and included in our messages, and the turbulent times we’re navigating at the moment, the need to be as clear as possible is more vital than ever.

Think about it for a moment. When did you last say to your partner, as you were either in bed or getting ready for bed “we’re struggling to get our key performance indicators aligned so we can leverage all the strategic opportunities out there”? Well, I put it to you, in general, most partners would cross their eyes, turn over and wonder what language you’re suddenly speaking.

To use a lot of ‘corporate’ lingo, especially in times when people are concerned about what’s really going on, is a recipe for confusion, mistrust and – often – for being ignored. It’s ironic really, people tend to use this sort of language to try to sound more knowledgeable, more ‘clever’ if you will. The opposite happens though. People tune out, think about something else entirely, resent you for confusing them or making them feel ‘dumb’ – or are so busy trying to translate what’s being said they miss your point anyway.

It’s a great way to translate some of the corporate gobbledegook you come across by asking yourself “What would I say to my partner/husband/wife about this?”

Clapping PeepsWhat you’ll find is that you naturally choose other words, more accessible, more everyday words. Try a bit of “Pillow Talk” with your team, with your marketing, when you’re making presentations or proposals.

You’ll be heard more easily and people will trust you and thank you for it.

3 ‘Quick & Dirty’ examples for you:

  1. “we’re struggling to get our key performance indicators aligned so we can leverage all the strategic opportunities out there” becomes “we’ve got to get everyone meeting their targets so we can make the best of what’s happening in the market”

  2. “by the end of the next quarter the upsurge in uptake will maximise our position” becomes “with all these buyers, by the end of December we should be in a great position”

  3. “so to keep optimising the market diffusion we must keep thinking outside of the box to leverage this” becomes “hey, there’s a lot activity in our market, let’s keep our minds open and meet as often as we can to make the most of it”

Sometimes, we all have to use the ‘gobbledeegook’ or the Corporate-sounding name of something or expressions being used around us. It’s a big part of being heard. I worked on a project in my own corporate career called GROPE. Enough said for a confusing, mixed message-style name which no one really understood!

So make sure you talk about it – you know you’re valuable and have value to add – well, talk truly is valuable too. If you choose.

What you can do as well to make sure you’re understood at the same time is to use these 3 simple and subtle expressions to make sure the point gets across and translates the ‘blah’ language into your Pillow Talk:

  1. “and by that I mean….”

  2. “or in other words….”

  3. “but you could also say….”

They’re simple, savvy, subtle and they work.

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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<< click here

Here are just a couple of the Reviews I’ve read straight from ‘the horse’s mouth’ on iTunes… My podcast appears every Thursday and there are now close to a hundred episodes for you to enjoy and learn from, on the spot. Short and snappy.

Great Advice!

by Rom Com Girl from USA

I especially liked the episode on “saying sorry.” Kay is right on! If you know you say “sorry” a lot, this is a MUST LISTEN!!

Instant Help!

by Surrey, England from UK

Practical, instant help to improve our communication – even just reading over the titles of each podcast is a great reminder of how we can improve the effectiveness of our communication. Keep it up Kay!


by Sonal_S from UK

This is highly recommended to all – Kay gives great advice as always and brings to life bite sized chunks so you can act immediately. I particularly enjoyed learning from Kay’s experience, enthusiasm and passion which inspire you and helps you to Sparkle more and show more confidence in your day to day experiences. Will definitely be tuning in to receive more of Kay’s sprinkling of fairy dust! Thank you Kay!

Kay's Owl

P is for Podcast: Pertinent; Practical; Purposeful

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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People / Places / Products

The War of Art   If you find yourself struggling to get going on a project or creating something or pinning yourself down to start something you know you want to BUT you keep putting it off – read The War of Art.

It helps you to understand what ‘resistance’ is and then “Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles”. It was recommended to me when I was ‘faffing’ about trying to get started on my book in 2011. This book made me stop faffing and write my own Number 1 best-selling book within 6 months – now I recommend it to you too.

By the way, Steven writes in a punchy, no-nonsense and confronting way. I love that style!

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite

This is one of those silly and so simple things which mean you can leave a message, a reminder, a ‘touch’ for someone when you’re on the move. I always carry sticky notes and you can, for example:Phone

  • Leave yourself a prompt stuck at eye height at the front door or the hall mirror

  • Stick a note on someone’s windscreen if you see their car and want to say ‘Hello’

  • Pop a note on the front of your phone to remind you to call someone

  • Download ideas with someone and then sort them into an order

  • Use them to stick something else in place

A small thing to keep in your bag or wallet and an easy way to prompt yourself or inspire yourself or someone else – oh, and the colours always attract attention too!

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About Kay

About Kay White

Kay White works with experienced business women from all around the world (and some very smart men) and shows them – with a combination of language and strategic moves – how to own, position and speak of their value so their income, opportunities and confidence naturally increases. Kay combines private one-on-one, VIP mentoring with group mentoring, speaking and hosts her annual 3-day Live Event ’Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE”. She also hosts her weekly podcast radio show downloadable from her site or on iTunes.

Using insights from her own +20 year corporate career, Kay shows her clients how to plan out their next moves in their business or career. She also shows women how ‘accessorise’ and enhance their day-to-day interactions along the way making them more comfortable, compelling and engaging. They boost their income, prospects and attract more lucrative opportunities as a result as Kay shows her clients how to add true, personal sparkle. Both to themselves and to what they say.

Working with Kay, her clients discover how to be confident, assertive, attract and keep attention and then ask for and get what they want. It’s a learnable skill to ask for what you want, to persuade, influence and get other people engaged and into action – both in writing and face-to-face. Kay’s developed step-by-step systems for her clients to learn, follow and use the steps every day and everywhere.

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay is the Author of the international #1 bestseller ‘The A to Z of Being Understood’ and Founder of Way Forward Solutions Ltd, a multiple 6-figure private company. Kay annually hosts a 3-day Live Event in London for professional women: Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE. With her straightforward and easy manner, Kay regularly features in magazines and publications. She’s a featured expert in GLAMOUR Magazine in “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Playing Hardball” and a regular guest blogger for We Are The City, a hub network and content site for professional women.

During her 20-year corporate career, Kay worked in the City of London and in Paris to Director level as part of a successful, mainly male, fast-paced team of global insurance brokers. Negotiating multi-million pound, industrial property insurance contracts around the world, she learned (often by her own mistakes along the way) how to – and crucially how not to – get heard, valued and noticed, for the right reasons. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Kay and her husband live close to London with their sighthounds. A lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Find out much more at www.kaywhite.com.

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