Positive Linking eZine: October 10, 2015

kay white enewsletter

Volume 119 | 9 October 2015  

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

Well, there’s been a lot of letting go in our house since I wrote to you last. Our precious oldest hound, Bolly, had been stoically playing the game of ‘touch and go’ since May this year. He had an inoperable ‘mass’ as the vet said which we chose to let take its course. At 13 years and as such an active hound we thought it best to give him quality of life rather than an operation and all the risks. It was a tough decision and yet, the right one for us.

Last weekend it was time to let him go. The quality had run out and Snowy and I made the tough decision to call the vet.

The huge wave of emotion was so shocking and yet, at the same time, I realise how we’d been letting him go over the last few months. Knowing we were all walking this tightrope, I’m so grateful for the special Summer months we shared as he kept going.

You may be reading this and wondering why I want to share this with you and if, indeed, it bears any relevance to you. Well %$firstname$%, you decide. All I know is that others have helped me by sharing their tales of grief and sadness, as well as of their success and good times. Our dear friend Julie who is the hounds’ ‘landlady’ when we go away said that making that decision is “one of the last and kindest things you can do” and it’s true. Hard. And true.

One of the things I’m always saying to my clients is how they teach as they share. Both the highs and the lows teach others if they share their stories. Bolly taught Snowy, me and the rest of the pack so much and I’ve decided to share some of that with you below and how it maps across into our careers and business lives. There’s always a story and a lesson if you look.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warmly to you %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™

3-Day LIVE Event 2016

Shall I keep you posted?

If you know you need to step up and accelerate your success at work AND allow yourself to be seen, valued and heard – do be there in 2016. Here’s the date and it will be in London again.

9, 10, 11 June 2016.

Here’s where you can let me know you want to be kept in the loop AND receive extra resources in advance.

Oh and below, here’s a quick video showing a little of what happened in March and what you’ve got in store in 2016. Take a few moments to see what comes up for ambitious women like you and what happens when you put yourself into an intentional space like this.

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Releasing an Audio Book – it’s About Time!

After years of being asked “When are you going to turn your book into an audio book Kay?” I now have!

The interesting thing about making the decision to do this Kay is that when enough people tell you the same thing, pay attention. They’re on to something and see something for you which often you’ve not seen, yet.

You’ll be able to access all the information, from A to Z, in your car, on the running machine and – if you’re like me – when you’re walking the dog! The audios are now in production with music being added, coughs and trip ups being removed (and the odd swear word) and touches of musical fairy dust too.

We’re just putting the final touches on the recordings and I’m excited to share it with you very, very soon. AND if you have a particular bugbear or thing you love about an audio book, please let me know as I’m very open to making it the best it can be. support@kaywhite.com for your suggestions please.

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7 Career Success Traits (as learned from Bolly, our fist hound)

The lessons are everywhere. Just notice.

It may sound whimsical or indulgent to share with you career success traits which I’ve learned from our hound but, I am. On a number of levels, I realise how many lessons we’ve learned having been owned by a dog for over 13 years and also realise what novices we were when we first rescued Bolly (or did he rescue us?) in 2002.

You can see on the day we took him into our home how we all had fewer grey hairs and laughter lines but what a lot of life we would live together.

Lurchers are intensively fit and eager creatures. They’re fast and yet they love nothing more than lazing about after a long walk. What came to me is how they operate on so many levels which have similarity in being successful in your career. At the same time, these traits map into our personal lives too. Success in one without success in the other is a life half lived, in my view.

Let me show you the 7 success traits I’ve learned from Bolly and how they map across into your career:

1. It’s a marathon not a sprint. After intense periods of exercise and activity, take time to rest. Give yourself a break. Don’t just bounce on to the next task or list. Enjoy the satisfaction and reflection of what you’ve achieved or done and drop a gear for a while. Find a sofa.

2. Notice what you notice. Even though we go to the same park most days, as a hound there’s a curiosity and delight in being there each day. Never oh ‘here we go again’ which we can consider being ‘another day at the office’. A hound is always ‘Yay, we’re here. What’s going on I can explore?’ It’s easy to become cynical with a sense of having seen it all before. You haven’t. The landscape’s always changing. Are you noticing what’s going on and moving with the times?

3. Have half and ear and eye open. Always. It’s easy to assume everything’s as it seems. A hound has always got half an ear cocked. We can become complacent and assume all’s well and as it should be. In your career you need to keep an eye on the competition, your colleagues, the market and be part of the conversation rather than closed off. It’s where opportunity is to be found.

4. Live in the moment more. Seeing the joy from a hound when we come back into a room having only been out for a moment, when the lead comes out or we arrive at a new place is a great reminder of how easy it is for us to be focussing elsewhere and miss the moments happening right now. Being more present at work and at home as your colleagues and family share things with you is so key to connecting. Giving someone the gift of your presence is often hard with so many gizmos available to distract us. We tend to live in the tomorrow rather than the now and we miss so much as a result.

5. Have adventures but know your way home. Going off and chasing a squirrel isn’t necessarily what I mean but as a hound, that’s often what they do. In our careers, playing by the rules, always walking the path and saying the ‘right’ things isn’t where adventure and entrepreneurship is found. I’ve learned by pushing boundaries – your own and other peoples’ – you grow and expand and find more opportunity. Always, however, know where home is. Where your bread’s buttered.

6. Read energy, not only the words. As a hound, you don’t really understand words, they’re sounds which is why you can read your shopping list to a hound in a loving, fun voice and they get all excited. At work – and at home – it’s easy to miss what’s going on because you don’t pay attention to the energy people have as they speak. We’re often caught up in words and miss the message of a person’s energy, their body language, their handshake, eye contact. Hounds don’t. They watch you like a hawk and read your energy like a book. At work you can ask yourself “what’s this person’s energy telling me which they’re not saying?” and clues will be there for you to notice.

7. Remain curious and playful. Being up for things, being curious and sometimes silly is both infectious and good for the soul. Yours and the souls of those around you. Asking about people, what’s going on with them, how something’s working, what you can do to help – curiosity is a natural state of learning and so is having fun. Bolly was still playing with his trusty old Meerkat toys and chasing a stick right up to the end of his life. We often forget to be playful and take ourselves far too seriously. You know I don’t mean to be the court jester at work but to loosen up, laugh at yourself, play – and not just to win, just to play.

So, what I realise as I finish writing this is how useful lessons and analogies are everywhere for us to notice. In this case, using the words of a well-known UK advert “Be More Dog” is my message, both to myself and to you.

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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“I don’t have to know it all”

N.P. and I started working together when she was first appointed to the Senior Management Team of a large public organisation. Her boss wanted her to become more assertive and more comfortable about her decisions to enable her to delegate more. Projects were being held up and deadlines missed as she felt she had to keep referring things upwards.

Client Success“The key for me is Kay showing me how to and when to ask better questions and to know it’s OK to “not know” or be a bit confused at times. Now I just ask another question and I listen closely. I thought I had to know all the answers straight away once I was promoted. I don’t worry so much now and this makes me feel much more at ease.

It’s much more comfortable now being out of my comfort zone. I’m enjoying the managerial side to my job now as I’m starting to get results where I was struggling.”

Kay's Owl

N is for Natural, Negotiator, Now

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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People / Places / Products

Speaking All Over the World

October is very ‘logistical’ %$firstname$% as I’m booked to speak at 3 different global organisations to show women how and why to speak up and be more assertive and influential at work.

This week, I spoke at British Telecom’s Auditorium in London and my talk was beamed around the world to the 170 countries within their network. It’s a great way for the organisation to build connection within their global network and there were over 800 women watching on the webcast and Livestream.

Snowy, my husband and I are spoke last week at the Leadership Academy of a global forensic accountancy firm about building strategic relationships – it was fun and interactive to be Mr. & Mrs. Speaker together.

Next week I’m hosting a Half-Day Event for my mentoring clients and connections so it’s definitely been a time of showing up and sparkling myself!

To find out how I can contribute to your organisation with an interactive talk filled with tips, tools, mindset pieces and sparkly, savvy things to say for women to grow in confidence so they step up and are more naturally valued and rewarded at work, do drop my Assistant, Caroline Humphries, a note. We can take a look at if or how it’s a fit for us both from there.

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‘Perfectly Imperfect’ Moments

Always one to try things and test things, I’ve been recording simple, quick messages or – as I call them – “Perfectly Imperfect Moments of Inspiration” for you. I’ve been told so many times “You should be recording videos” and I’ve now got to grips with the gizmos I need to be able to comfortably seize these moments!

Here’s a quick message to you from the park where I take comfort and learn something every single day.

See what you think.

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About Kay

About Kay White

Kay White works with experienced business women from all around the world (and some very smart men) and shows them – with a combination of language and strategic moves – how to own, position and speak of their value so their income, opportunities and confidence naturally increases. Kay combines private one-on-one, VIP mentoring with group mentoring, speaking and hosts her annual 3-day Live Event ’Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE”. She also hosts her weekly podcast radio show downloadable from her site or on iTunes.

Using insights from her own +20 year corporate career, Kay shows her clients how to plan out their next moves in their business or career. She also shows women how ‘accessorise’ and enhance their day-to-day interactions along the way making them more comfortable, compelling and engaging. They boost their income, prospects and attract more lucrative opportunities as a result as Kay shows her clients how to add true, personal sparkle. Both to themselves and to what they say.

Working with Kay, her clients discover how to be confident, assertive, attract and keep attention and then ask for and get what they want. It’s a learnable skill to ask for what you want, to persuade, influence and get other people engaged and into action – both in writing and face-to-face. Kay’s developed step-by-step systems for her clients to learn, follow and use the steps every day and everywhere.

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay is the Author of the international #1 bestseller ‘The A to Z of Being Understood’ and Founder of Way Forward Solutions Ltd, a multiple 6-figure private company. Kay annually hosts a 3-day Live Event in London for professional women: Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE. With her straightforward and easy manner, Kay regularly features in magazines and publications. She’s a featured expert in GLAMOUR Magazine in “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Playing Hardball” and a regular guest blogger for We Are The City, a hub network and content site for professional women.

During her 20-year corporate career, Kay worked in the City of London and in Paris to Director level as part of a successful, mainly male, fast-paced team of global insurance brokers. Negotiating multi-million pound, industrial property insurance contracts around the world, she learned (often by her own mistakes along the way) how to – and crucially how not to – get heard, valued and noticed, for the right reasons. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Kay and her husband live close to London with their 3 rescue sighthounds. A lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Find out much more at www.kaywhite.com.

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