Positive Linking eZine: October 20, 2017

kay white enewsletter

Volume 160 |  20 October  2017 

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

After all the excitement and build up to hosting my Final 3-Day Event this year, the follow on process and now preparing to host a 2-day Live Retreat next month, there’s still a lot to focus on. The Event was so special – the largest and most energetically exciting Event I’ve ever hosted. So much feedback, so many women challenging themselves and stepping forward, so many new clients, so many tears at times (from me as well) and so much joy and fun. I was exhausted but exhilarated after we packed all our baubles away.

Snowy & I came home that night and next day, as ever, took our 3 hounds out for a long walk. It was such a special experience and a privilege to host an Event like that and it takes me a few days to find my feet and ground myself in my life again. 5 days shut in a hotel room with no outside air!

I can’t say I’ll ‘never’ host the Event again %$firstname$% but what I can say is “I won’t host it in 2018”. For 5 years now we’ve gone from finishing the Event to booking the date – and committing to the Contract – for the next one, the week after. I have other plans. Another book to write (already mapped out) and a full-to-the-brim Mastermind to deliver. I plan to host a suite of One-Day Events on targeted subjects for corporate women – all of which I’m excited about and all of which needs precious time and focus to deliver in the way I commit to. Stay tuned – I’ll share how these plans evolve as we stay connected by this little twice-monthly eZine.

Remember %$firstname$%, always be true to yourself – no one else can be the unique, one-off, multi-faceted person you are! No one.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

NOW: Speaking, Resting and Breathing!

With a number of speaking bookings coming up (investment banks, a conference and an Insurance Network Half-DayEvent) I’m also planning to plan! Holidays, mini-breaks, mini-events AND planning for ‘nothing’ at all!

Also – speaking of speaking – if you believe I will contribute to your organisation with my talk for professional women about savvy, effective and influential communication for your business success, please let my Personal Assistant, Helen, know at helen@kaywhite.com.

You can read a little about what I share and it would be a pleasure to look at if or how we can make that work – virtually or in person.

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Gratitude: 2 Small Words Change Everything

It’s such a small thing to say ‘thank you’ and these two small words cost you absolutely nothing and yet make a huge difference to if and how people remember you – and respond to you. Thanking people is often the difference that makes the difference as to whether people do what you want, get back to you, take on your opinion and it certainly affects the actual way they do what you ask them to.

To be noticed and remembered for the right reasons, we need to make people feel appreciated. An easy, effective and natural way to make people feel you appreciate them is simply to look for more ways to say ‘Thank You’ to them and to say it more. It’s so simple and it works in so many ways.

Once we start to look for how and where we can be more grateful, more appreciative of what people do and are doing, not just for us but around us, you’ll discover loads more opportunities to say ‘thank you’. And, interestingly, staying open and looking for ways to say ‘thank you’, to be grateful. Even if you don’t always like what’s happened, there’s always a lesson to learn.

  • ‘Thank you for your help’

  • ‘Thank you for letting me know’

  • ‘Thank you for thinking of me’

  • ‘Thanks in advance for doing that by Friday…’

Telling people you know they’ll do something and thanking them before they’ve done it, that’s where commitment and consistency, those powerful influencers, live.

‘Thank you’ also helps even if you don’t like what you’re being told. Try saying “ah, thanks for letting me know” or “hmm, thanks for telling me that, now what about etc.” If you say ‘thank you’ first, it means that the first thing you say isn’t negative and crucially, it buys you some precious time to decide what you do want to say.

Defined in the dictionary as ‘a polite expression used when acknowledging a gift, service or compliment or when accepting or refusing an offer’, saying ‘thank you’ for something you don’t want or don’t want to do is a really key piece in learning how to say ‘no’ without upsetting people. “Thank you for the opportunity and…”

There’s a great knock-on effect from saying ‘Thank You’ more of course. It makes you feel better too. It’s that whole ‘attitude of gratitude’ and it truly works. Simple.

So many people mutter to themselves ‘Well, they’re just doing their job’ ie why should I say ‘thank you?’ or tell me ‘I was so pleased with how they did that’ and yet when I ask the person ‘did you tell them you’re pleased?’ they invariably say the person was either doing what they were supposed to or they just assumed the person knew they were pleased. Uh oh.

A client told me recently that, as a service provider, when a customer phones her and says ‘thank you’ after she’s sorted things out for them, they immediately get better service from her next time they need her help.

As she then said ‘everyone likes to be appreciated, we’ve all got a lot going on’ and as William Arthur Ward, the famous American poet said ‘Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.’

There you go, simple and easy. Thank you %$firstname$%

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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“I feel empowered by what I’ve learned.”

“I’ve learned how to be more open and trust myself. I came here to London to this event Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE to share with and learn from other professional women like me. I’ve discovered so much about myself and I feel empowered by what I’ve learned. I didn’t know what to expect but I trusted I wanted to be here and learn from Kay. I’ve learned how to be more open and how to trust myself more.

Kay’s like our Fairy Godmother! She brings amazing women together in a safe, special space to learn and share and really understand how powerful we are. Go ahead and come to this event – jump and trust you’ll get what you need. I did.”


Kay's Owl

L is for Lenka AND Listen, Leverage, Learn

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day.

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Jo Malone – My Story

I really recommend this book to you for various reasons.

Jo Malone’s open and honest account of how she created and grew the world-known brand associated with her name. Her book gives us insights into her career and life path of following her nose and sense of smell, which is the bedrock of her business and the dead ends, tough times when she was diagnosed with life-threatening, advanced breast cancer as well as the moments of excitement and joy. Blended together they make her book both inspirational and educational at the same time.

The fact that one of my favourite bath time treats is her Lime, Basil & Mandarin Bath Oil (with matching candle) is neither here nor there!

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite

Help Your Feet to Sparkle Too!

After hosting a 3-day Live Event again recently, I had to give you this small and super-duper helpful tip for your toes! I’ve said it before and here it is again..

If you wear sandals or shoes, high or otherwise and bare feet ie no tights or hose then this trick is for you.

vasalineYour feet get hot and then the sandals or shoes become uncomfortable or stick. So, pop in your bag a little tin of Vaseline or petroleum jelly. It’s MAGIC. I had my feet, especially my toes, well and truly layered with it and had no bad-feet moments at all.

I’ve rescued women hopping about in pain at weddings, cocktail parties and events by discreetly handing them my handy handbag-sized tin.

You may say it’s an ‘old wives’ tale’ %$firstname$% but, whatever, this wife knows it works!

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About Kay

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ‘sell their soul’.

Running her own multiple 6-figure coaching & mentoring business for over 10 years, Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity while being true to themselves.

Kay’s clients learn how to present themselves most effectively at work and to combine strategic, planned career move-making steps with influencing skills. She also teaches compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets around, for example, money, ambition and worthiness. She draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the male-dominated world of London insurance broking. Kay started her career at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own coaching business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Comfortable on her feet, Kay regularly hosts Live Events (for 5 years, her annual 3-Day Live Event – Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE – has shown corporate career women how to attract promotion, recognition and rewards, all without selling their souls). Stay tuned for news about a suite of Day of Magic Experience Events.

Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com

Living close to London with rescue sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, much of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside. Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he knows he’s part of the pack.

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