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Positive Linking eZine: October 23, 2015
Volume 120 | 23 October 2015
Hello there %$firstname$%,
So, in the spirit of going with the flow, I’m just putting away all the bits and bobs (and glitter) from hosting 2 half-day live events last week.
One was for VIP clients and their guests on a static boat close to Westminster and the second for the women’s network of British Telecom. Crikey, it was quite a week.
Talk about evolution. It was amazing to be together with my VIP clients and hear their stories, discuss the ways to put yourself forward and trust yourself, your skills and your experience. We did exercises both in groups and on our feet and there were tears and laughs in equal measures. I truly believe the audience always ‘teaches’ as much as I do and I listen. Closely. Oh and my husband, Snowy, spoke at my event too – he has the useful man’s view on things and is a very straight talker with a few ‘choice’ words thrown in!
The week before I spoke in the London Auditorium of BT and hundreds of women also dialled in around the world as well as there in the room. My Executive Assistant, Caroline, was there to support me and I then invited my host there to join us at my own event. I love the flow of energy and inspiration which comes in moments like these %$firstname$%.
Going with the flow of where your business and career takes you and, of course, driving that change is what I’m all about. Not sitting passively and waiting. When I decided to leave insurance in 2002 and set out for ‘what’s next’ – I didn’t know exactly what that was but I certainly knew what it wasn’t going to be. No more of the same. Now, working closely with professional women in the market and industries I used to operate in myself is a true joy and also, in the spirit of evolution, feels like a circular moment. Or, going with the flow.
Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.
Warmly to you %$firstname$%,
Let’s connect even more
PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.
Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™
3-Day LIVE Event 2016
Shall I keep you posted?
If you know you need to step up and accelerate your success at work AND allow yourself to be seen, valued and heard – do be there in 2016. Here’s the date and it will be in London again.
Oh and below, here’s a quick video showing a little of what happened in March and what you’ve got in store in 2016. Take a few moments to see what comes up for ambitious women like you and what happens when you put yourself into an intentional space like this.
Releasing an Audio Book – it’s About Time!
After years of being asked “When are you going to turn your book into an audio book Kay?” I now have!
The interesting thing about making the decision to do this Kay is that when enough people tell you the same thing, pay attention. They’re on to something and see something for you which often you’ve not seen, yet.
You’ll be able to access all the information, from A to Z, in your car, on the running machine and – if you’re like me – when you’re walking the dog! The audios are now in production with music being added, coughs and trip ups being removed (and the odd swear word) and touches of musical fairy dust too.
We’re just about to introduce it on Audible and also it will be accessible via my website at kaywhite.com with a few added extras! Stay tuned.
How up close and personal are you?
At times, there’s no substitute for the ‘LIVE’ or personalised version of You
It’s easy to get lulled into this false sense of reality isn’t it? Instead of picking up the phone to speak to someone, you drop them an email or send them a message or a text. Instead of dropping someone a note, you can instant message, Skype message or send them an eCard. Instead of going to a networking event, social gathering, exhibition or event, you can show up online. All of these ways of being in touch, of showing up on the radar, are virtually instant and take very little effort. They work too, to an extent. There’s also a darker side too, a sense of disconnectedness.
What I also know to be true is this. There is nothing like being there in-person, in-the-room and pressing the flesh with other people. The energy, the sense of connectedness, the opportunity to take yourself out of your environment and put yourself in another, all adds to the mix and what comes out of that is so very different than being ‘virtual’.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m the first to enjoy, leverage and actively revel in all the gizmos and ways of working virtually. It’s something I’ve come to love about working in this ‘small world’ way. What’s often underestimated though is how disconnected we can feel and be perceived, when we take ourselves, our personalised selves, out of the mix – often without necessarily being conscious of it.
Let me ask you a few quick questions.
Have you ever emailed someone who’s in the same room/office as you because you can’t face or make time to go across and speak to them?
Have you ever emailed someone instead of calling them as an easy ‘get out’?
Have you ever texted someone a Thank You note instead of either calling or writing them a personal note?
Do you find yourself sending an ‘Apologies’ meeting alert rather than calling the person to say you can’t attend?
Have you ever wished you’d met up with someone in person sooner rather than wasting time going back/forth on email?
I know, like me, some – or all – of your answers will be a ‘Yes’. I ask myself, just before sending an email or text, is this the best way to be in touch today? Clients constantly tell me that they can’t “get people to do what they want them to” or they struggle to get people to respond to them. When pressed, it’s often because they lack connection with the other person/s. That’s where the secret of ‘pressing the flesh’ or personalising can change things in an instant.
You don’t have to spend your life bouncing around the world on planes or being so busy going to meetings or writing notes you never give yourself time to implement or think. No, of course not.
Here are 5 starters for you if you decide to show up ‘personally’ more than you are.
When you go to email someone, pick up the phone and call instead. Even if you leave a voicemail and send an email afterwards, you connected, you made the effort. They hear your ‘real life’ voice. It means something, to them.
Instead of sending an RSVP by email – call or drop a personal, hand-written note instead. Your voice, your writing all counts more as you being ‘in person’.
When you look at an invitation and think “No, too busy” – just ask yourself “How can I make it work so I can go?” so you let people see you and be with you, as you with them.
When you do decide to show up in person, instead of hanging with people you know, challenge yourself to meet and greet at least 5 people you’ve never met before. You only have to be open to asking them a few questions and, off you go!
When you’re with other people, be more interested in them, rather than being interested in them being interested in you. That’s where the true magic is – they magically become more interested in you anyway – aha!
Daniel Goleman who wrote the transformational – and much quoted – book ‘Emotional Intelligence’ says “When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection – or compassionate action.” I believe he’s right.
A big piece of that is coming forward to make a personalised – not impersonalised – connection. Go on, I dare you.
Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?
Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it: “Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.
Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”
To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.
“Be open – what have you got to lose?”
S.P. was a Director in a major global bank who’d got stuck, frustrated and felt very undervalued at work having missed out on a pay raise and a bonus. Well, not anymore! She attended Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE and…fairly soon after, attracted a new role and was so thrilled.
“I was intrigued by the title of the event! The idea of having access to all the like-minded professional women Kay attracts really motivated me to come. I didn’t want it to end!
I’ve learned so much about myself both from Kay and what she shares and from the generous sharing of other women in the audience. I would never have got access to the sorts of things I’ve learned if I hadn’t had the sense to come here.
I know I’m richer as a result of being here. I’ve opened up to how I can do things differently to realise my potential, be a better person, earn more money and really be much happier in myself.
Kay’s so thoughtful and has a way of understanding what you need before you do and she’s very warm, real and really, really great fun! Be open – what have you got to lose? For a small investment you can get huge access to ways to be truly extraordinary – learn from Kay.”
Sis for Samar and Sparkly, Special and Savvy!
For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.
People / Places / Products
We often underestimate how far we’ve come in all the day-to-day rushing around ‘doing’. I’m much more mindful these days of where I am as opposed to where I was. It guides me and keeps me grounded in what I’ve achieved rather than always looking for the next ‘goal’. What about you %$firstname$%? Do you notice and acknowledge how far you’ve come?
Let me share a little bit of ‘memory lane’ with you. I launched my very first eZine in October 2010, It was a bit clunky and certainly less glittery and yet, as I look at it, it was still ‘good to go’. I took a leap long before I was ready and and now, 5 years on and 120 issues later, I haven’t missed one.
It’s truly a commitment to show up and share with you every other week. What are you committing to starting and carrying on without faltering or questioning yourself too much %$firstname$%?
Start where you are and, of course, keep going….
‘Perfectly Imperfect’ Moments
Always one to try things and test things, I’ve been recording simple, quick messages or – as I call them – “Perfectly Imperfect Moments of Inspiration” for you. I’ve been told so many times “You should be recording videos” and I’ve now got to grips with the gizmos I need to be able to comfortably seize these moments!
Here’s a quick message to you from the side of the River Thames just before hosting my Event last week – all about preparing and being able to be present.
See what you think.
Kay White works with experienced business women from all around the world (and some very smart men) and shows them – with a combination of language and strategic moves – how to own, position and speak of their value so their income, opportunities and confidence naturally increases. Kay combines private one-on-one, VIP mentoring with group mentoring, speaking and hosts her annual 3-day Live Event ’Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE”. She also hosts her weekly podcast radio show downloadable from her site or on iTunes.
Using insights from her own +20 year corporate career, Kay shows her clients how to plan out their next moves in their business or career. She also shows women how ‘accessorise’ and enhance their day-to-day interactions along the way making them more comfortable, compelling and engaging. They boost their income, prospects and attract more lucrative opportunities as a result as Kay shows her clients how to add true, personal sparkle. Both to themselves and to what they say.
Working with Kay, her clients discover how to be confident, assertive, attract and keep attention and then ask for and get what they want. It’s a learnable skill to ask for what you want, to persuade, influence and get other people engaged and into action – both in writing and face-to-face. Kay’s developed step-by-step systems for her clients to learn, follow and use the steps every day and everywhere.
Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay is the Author of the international #1 bestseller ‘The A to Z of Being Understood’ and Founder of Way Forward Solutions Ltd, a multiple 6-figure private company. Kay annually hosts a 3-day Live Event in London for professional women: Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE. With her straightforward and easy manner, Kay regularly features in magazines and publications. She’s a featured expert in GLAMOUR Magazine in “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Playing Hardball” and a regular guest blogger for We Are The City, a hub network and content site for professional women.
During her 20-year corporate career, Kay worked in the City of London and in Paris to Director level as part of a successful, mainly male, fast-paced team of global insurance brokers. Negotiating multi-million pound, industrial property insurance contracts around the world, she learned (often by her own mistakes along the way) how to – and crucially how not to – get heard, valued and noticed, for the right reasons. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.
Kay and her husband live close to London with their sighthounds. A lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.