Positive Linking eZine: October 28, 2016

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Volume 141 |  28 October 2016  

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

It’s been a very moving experience of late! My sister is moving house and, I don’t know about you but when you start to sift through your belongings and find things you didn’t know you had, it’s quite a confronting exercise.

We’ve found pictures of our much-missed parents, things that remind us of living at home and lots and lots of clothes. You can see from the picture here how there are advantages to getting older and wiser – having someone other than your Mother cut your fringe being one!

It’s been cathartic for her to get rid of so much which doesn’t interest or serve or suit her and it’s made me make a decision too %$firstname$%. Snowy and I are going to ‘pretend’ we’re moving and our hotspots are the loft, the garages and the garden shed. Not for much longer…

After all the excitement and build up to hosting my Event 2.0 this year, the follow on process and now preparing to host a 2-day Live Retreat next month, there’s still a lot to focus on. And yet, after that, the sort out begins. I realise how much ‘stuff’ we have which we also no longer need and it’s going to be part of my commitment going in to 2017 feeling even lighter having let things go. Also, feeling so truly grateful for all that’s happened – the rough with the smooth.

Marie Kondo in her brilliant book “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying” said “There are only two choices: keep it or chuck it”. I love this because choosing what you keep, really choosing it because it serves or gives you joy, that’s a really different way of tidying up. Onwards!

Remember, always be true to yourself – no one else can be the unique, one-off, multi-faceted person you are. No one.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warm and ever-sparkly wishes %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™

3-Day LIVE Event 2017

I believe in setting an intention and going with it %$firstname$%. If you wished you could have been there with us this year and know you need to be there in 2017, here’s the date and it will be in London again. The contract for the room is close to being signed and, already, women are telling me “I’m coming next year – I know I need to be there”.

So. Just saying. If you do too, now you know the when. The ‘how’ will work itself out….. 5, 6, 7 October 2017.

NOW: Speaking, Resting and Breathing!

With a number of speaking bookings coming up (investment banks, a conference and an Insurance Network Half-Day Event) I’m also planning to plan! Holidays, mini-breaks, mini-events AND planning for ‘nothing’ at all!

Also – speaking of speaking – if you believe I will contribute to your organisation with my talk for professional women about savvy, effective and influential communication for your business success, please let my Personal Assistant, Helen, know at helen@kaywhite.com.

You can read a little about what I share and it would be a pleasure to look at if or how we can make that work – virtually or in person.

Psychologies – December 2016 Issue

Having worked with one of the Editing team of Psychologies Magazine, Ellen Tout, during the Summer, the December 2016 Issue (due out on 28th October 2016) will feature Ellen and my work together. Ellen was struggling to step forward, make herself heard and bring her ideas to the table at work.

Many things seemed to change for the better for Ellen as we worked together and she’s written up her experience and the results in the magazine. Let’s see what she has to say.

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Gratitude: 2 Small Words Change Everything

It’s such a small thing to say ‘thank you’ and these two small words cost you absolutely nothing and yet make a huge difference to if and how people remember you – and respond to you. Thanking people is often the difference that makes the difference as to whether people do what you want, get back to you, take on your opinion and it certainly affects the actual way they do what you ask them to.

To be noticed and remembered for the right reasons, we need to make people feel appreciated. An easy, effective and natural way to make people feel you appreciate them is simply to look for more ways to say ‘Thank You’ to them and to say it more. It’s so simple and it works in so many ways.

Once we start to look for how and where we can be more grateful, more appreciative of what people do and are doing, not just for us but around us, you’ll discover loads more opportunities to say ‘thank you’.

  • ‘Thank you for your help’

  • ‘Thank you for letting me know’

  • ‘Thank you for thinking of me’

  • ‘Thanks in advance for doing that by Friday…’

Telling people you know they’ll do something and thanking them before they’ve done it, that’s where commitment and consistency, those powerful influencers, live.

‘Thank you’ also helps even if you don’t like what you’re being told. Try saying “ah, thanks for letting me know” or “hmm, thanks for telling me that, now what about etc.” If you say ‘thank you’ first, it means that the first thing you say isn’t negative and crucially, it buys you some precious time to decide what you do want to say.

Defined in the dictionary as ‘a polite expression used when acknowledging a gift, service or compliment or when accepting or refusing an offer’, saying ‘thank you’ for something you don’t want or don’t want to do is a really key piece in learning how to say ‘no’ without upsetting people. “Thank you for the opportunity and…”

There’s a great knock-on effect from saying ‘Thank You’ more of course. It makes you feel better too. It’s that whole ‘attitude of gratitude’ and it truly works. Simple.

So many people mutter to themselves ‘Well, they’re just doing their job’ ie why should I say ‘thank you?’ or tell me ‘I was so pleased with how they did that’ and yet when I ask the person ‘did you tell them you’re pleased?’ they invariably say the person was either doing what they were supposed to or they just assumed the person knew they were pleased. Uh oh.

A client told me recently that, as a service provider, when a customer phones her and says ‘thank you’ after she’s sorted things out for them, they immediately get better service from her next time they need her help.

As she then said ‘everyone likes to be appreciated, we’ve all got a lot going on’ and as William Arthur Ward, the famous American poet said ‘Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.’

There you go, simple and easy. Thank you %$firstname$%

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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Ruby C. Practice Manager, Major UK IT Services

“It’s been a life-changing weekend for me..”

“I wanted a different take on things and to change my attitude – I wanted some inspiration in my career which was missing. The whole experience has been fantastic – so much attention to detail, everyone very welcoming, friendly, open and I’m amazed I’ve got up and danced. I just don’t normally do that kind of thing and I did it because I really wanted to.

The range of speakers was amazing – from powerful business women to spiritual teachers, quite extraordinary. I’ve learned such powerful lessons – having been a bit of a corporate clone I’ve learned that it’s OK to be yourself, in fact it’s crucial! I’m already much more confident about the moves I’m going to make and understand and leverage my true value.

Kay has incredible energy and warmth and you immediately want to learn from her and I feel inspired to follow her example. I’ve got so much out of these 3 days, it feels like a week – it’s been a life-changing weekend for me. Don’t hold back if you’re thinking you should be here if she hosts this Event again.”

AND: Having been part of my VIP Golden Circle for 24 months, I’m so proud to hear that Ruby recently negotiated a 50% salary increase based on what she learned about herself and how she’s learned to negotiate from her value.

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R is also for Resilient, Respect & Rock On

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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Jo Malone – My Story

I really recommend this book to you for various reasons. Her open and honest account of how she created and grew the world-known brand associated with her name. Her book gives us insights into her career and life path of following her nose and sense of smell, which is the bedrock of her business and the dead ends, tough times as well as the moments of excitement and joy. Blended together they make her book both inspirational and educational at the same time.

The fact that one of my favourite bath time treats is her Lime, Basil & Mandarin Bath Oil (with matching candle) is neither here nor there!

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite 

Help Your Feet to Sparkle Too!

After hosting a 3-day Live Event, I had to give you this small and super-duper helpful tip for your toes! I’ve said it before and here it is again..

If you wear sandals, high or otherwise and bare feet ie no tights or hose then this trick is for you!


Your feet get hot and then the sandals or shoes become uncomfortable or stick. So, pop in your bag a little tin of Vaseline or petroleum jelly. It’s MAGIC. I had my feet, especially my toes, well and truly layered with it and had no bad-feet moments at all.

I’ve rescued women hopping about in pain at weddings, cocktail parties and events by discreetly handing them my handy handbag-sized tin. You may say it’s an ‘old wives’ tale’ %$firstname$% but, whatever, this wife knows it works!

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About Kay

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay mentors and coaches professional women who want to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ‘sell their soul’.

Running her own multiple 6-figure coaching & mentoring business for over 10 years, Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity while being true to themselves.

Kay’s clients learn how to present themselves most effectively at work and to combine strategic, planned career move-making steps with influencing skills. She also teaches compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets around, for example, money, ambition and worthiness. She draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the male-dominated world of London insurance broking. Kay started her career at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director, having also worked for the company in Paris, to start her own coaching business. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Hosting an annual 3-day Live Event for corporate career women “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE” Kay encourages and shows women how to be the best, most valuable version of themselves so they’re ready to be paid what their worth and go for what they want with certainty. Crucially too, how to have more ease and more fun as you plan your way forward.

Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at: www.kaywhite.com

Living close to London with sighthounds, Jeffrey, Pharaoh & DeeDee, lots of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside. Kay’s husband says she’s the Pack Leader and he’s part of the pack.

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