Positive Linking eZine: September 25, 2015

kay white enewsletter

Volume 118 | 25 September 2015  

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Hello There

Hello there %$firstname$%,

So, when you learn something new and start to stretch you mind, how easy do you find it to let go and stay open? Well, having just started to learn the drums, something I’ve wanted to do for years, I found myself having to really let go and listen to instructions. Mark, my drum instructor, is dynamic, enthusiastic and very patient. What’s so interesting as you take up something completely different is how your mind wants to start racing ahead. Mine did anyway.

Instead of allowing myself to get all tangled up or embarrassed by being all fingers and thumbs, I just let go. The lesson just flew by and it’s more about the ride than the destination for me. There’s an energy about drumbeats and making that noise is exhilarating. Our closest neighbours are a little concerned….

Speaking for the first time to a large audience last week was another of those exhilarating and ‘go with the flow’ moments too. Since being ill in March this year, I’ve been lower-key as far as speaking and attending events have been concerned. It was like being back on a bicycle though %$firstname$%. As soon as I was introduced by the host, I let go and felt myself slow down and be in the moment. I’d been concerned I’d be flustered or forgetful but, as I always do, by taking time to consider how I wanted to be, by mingling with the audience and settling myself, it was how I hoped it would be. Energetic, fun, motivating.

With state of mind in mind, I’ve written an article below for you to consider your own state of mind. The best state to be in for what you want to achieve. We so often say we ought to do more preparation but I find if we slow down and think about our state of mind, it gives you the freedom to listen to the beat of what’s actually going on in the moment.

Thank you for taking the time to read this eZine as I’m sure you have so much vying for your attention. I hope the ideas and suggestions help you reflect and to show up, sparkle and be heard even more at work.

Warmly to you %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde Said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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What's Happening

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™

3-Day LIVE Event 2016

Shall I keep you posted?

If you know you need to step up and accelerate your success at work AND allow yourself to be seen, valued and heard – do be there in 2016. Here’s the date and it will be in London again.

9, 10, 11 June 2016.

Here’s where you can let me know you want to be kept in the loop AND receive extra resources in advance.

Oh and below, here’s a quick video showing a little of what happened in March and what you’ve got in store in 2016. Take a few moments to see what comes up for ambitious women like you and what happens when you put yourself into an intentional space like this.

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Releasing an Audio Book – it’s About Time!

After years of being asked “When are you going to turn your book into an audio book Kay?” I now have!

The interesting thing about making the decision to do this Kay is that when enough people tell you the same thing, pay attention. They’re on to something and see something for you which often you’ve not seen, yet.

You’ll be able to access all the information, from A to Z, in your car, on the running machine and – if you’re like me – when you’re walking the dog! The audios are now in production with music being added, coughs and trip ups being removed (and the odd swear word) and touches of musical fairy dust too – I’m excited to share it with you when it’s ready.

As soon as it’s available I’ll make sure you have early access to the downloadable audio book, with a special Introductory Offer. And 3, 2, 1 ‘Action’.


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Take a Pause & Boost Your Presence

Less speed, more grace and ease

Do you barrel from one thing to another at work? Do you find yourself finishing one meeting or phone call and then jumping straight into or onto the next? How about when you arrive at a meeting, do you like to get there early, settle in, suss out the terrain as it were – or do you clatter in and often find you’re wishing you had a couple of minutes to just gather yourself?

Well, if you’ve said “Yup” to any or all of the above, firstly you’re not alone. This is the MO as my friend Norman used to call it (modus operandi – way of working – I had to look it up when he told me) of so many women. We think we can fit one more call in or just five more minutes of attention on something before jumping to the next thing.

What’s interesting too is that in our desire to be ‘on it’ and be seen as being busy and in need, if you will, we sacrifice our precious state of mind. Our state.

When you look up ‘State’ in this context in the dictionary it offers “the particular condition that someone or something is in at a specific time” and when your particular condition is just rush, rush, rush then we miss out on preparing ourselves for the best state of mind to be in for the situation.

If you build in extra time to just prepare your state, to think about what you want to have happen, what you want to say, avoid, include, decide as you move through your day you’ll find you won’t be operating on the back foot. You’ll be ‘at choice’ as I’ve heard it called.

The difference it makes to your energy as you consider how you want to show up, how you want people to perceive you can make the difference between you getting the response you want. Or not.

We both know we pick up on others’ energy. Their breathing, their pausing, their demeanour. Well, they pick up on ours of course. Women tell me they rush from one thing to another and say they’re conscious of their heels being heard clattering down the hallway or stairs. This gives the impression we’re on the back foot. Hurried. Late.

So, as an idea for you if any or all of the above has made you nod, here are a few things to do instead:

Take a breath when you put the phone down. Take just a moment – 30 seconds – to stare into space and consider what just happened. What was agreed. How was that person doing? What you noticed.

Dial in to conference lines 3 minutes before you need to be there. Be the one who’s ready to be ready rather than scrabbling around finding the dial-in details.

Even if you’re late, gather yourself in the lift or in the restrooms before. Just for a moment. Instead of running or bustling to where you’re going, try consciously striding with measured steps. It calms you down.

Choose your state. Tell yourself how you’ll be as you move to your next meeting, call or engagement. Instead of “I hope I’ll get what I want” or “I must make this happen” try to be more specific with yourself. “I’m calm, open and committed” for example. Instead of “I must speak up and be heard at some point” try “I’m prepared and adding value by contributing”. It tells your brain what state you want to be in.

Personal presence is one of those ethereal things. People feel your energy, your gaze, your breathing, your pace and all those ingredients come from your state.

What’s your most effective state to go about your business? If you want any further clues about the importance of planning for your state, here’s a few words from Tony Robbins, the super successful author, motivational speaker.

“Put yourself in a state of mind where you say to yourself, “Here is an opportunity for you to celebrate like never before, my own power, my own ability to get myself to do whatever is necessary.”

I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here.

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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:
“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.

Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”

To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right). I’m always interested to hear from you.

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“My main ‘Aha’ is being able to articulate my professional value.”

“I can already think of some personal things which are going on with me as well and link them. As a Mentor Kay’s generous and her advice, tips and stories are practical and pragmatic. I know exactly how I’m going to be able to put what I’ve learned into practice

I think you owe yourself the chance to be able to sit in a room full of like-minded, intelligent women in a non-competitive environment and share your and learn from others’ experiences.”

Pam C. Senior Executive, Global Bank, London

Kay's Owl

P is for Pam and Pertinent, Polished, Profound

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.kaywhite.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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People / Places / Products

Speaking All Over the World

October is also going to be very ‘logistical’ %$firstname$% as I’m booked to speak at 3 different global organisations to show women how and why to speak up and be more assertive and influential at work.

Speaking at one organisation’s Auditorium in London, my talk is going to be beamed around the world to the 170 countries within their network. It’s a great way for the organisation to build connection within their global network and we will be taking questions live from the Livestream audience.

We already have nearly 300 registered and 2 more weeks to go.

Snowy, my husband and I are also speaking at the Leadership Academy of a global forensic accountancy firm – it will be interesting for both of us, as well as the audience!

To find out how I can contribute to your organisation with an interactive talk filled with tips, tools, mindset pieces and sparkly, savvy things to say for women to grow in confidence so they step up and are more naturally valued and rewarded at work, do drop my Assistant, Caroline Humphries, a note. We can take a look at if or how it’s a fit for us both from there.

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‘Perfectly Imperfect’ Moments

Always one to try things and test things, I’ve been recording simple, quick messages or – as I call them – “Perfectly Imperfect Moments of Inspiration” for you. I’ve been told so many times “You should be recording videos” and I’ve now got to grips with the gizmos I need to be able to comfortably seize these moments!

Here’s a quick message to you from my car where I share with you my thoughts about pausing and allowing yourself to take a breath. Another way of saying what I shared in the article.

See what you think.

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About Kay

About Kay White

Kay White works with experienced business women from all around the world (and some very smart men) and shows them – with a combination of language and strategic moves – how to own, position and speak of their value so their income, opportunities and confidence naturally increases. Kay combines private one-on-one, VIP mentoring with group mentoring, speaking and hosts her annual 3-day Live Event ’Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE”. She also hosts her weekly podcast radio show downloadable from her site or on iTunes.

Using insights from her own +20 year corporate career, Kay shows her clients how to plan out their next moves in their business or career. She also shows women how ‘accessorise’ and enhance their day-to-day interactions along the way making them more comfortable, compelling and engaging. They boost their income, prospects and attract more lucrative opportunities as a result as Kay shows her clients how to add true, personal sparkle. Both to themselves and to what they say.

Working with Kay, her clients discover how to be confident, assertive, attract and keep attention and then ask for and get what they want. It’s a learnable skill to ask for what you want, to persuade, influence and get other people engaged and into action – both in writing and face-to-face. Kay’s developed step-by-step systems for her clients to learn, follow and use the steps every day and everywhere.

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay is the Author of the international #1 bestseller ‘The A to Z of Being Understood’ and Founder of Way Forward Solutions Ltd, a multiple 6-figure private company. Kay annually hosts a 3-day Live Event in London for professional women: Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE. With her straightforward and easy manner, Kay regularly features in magazines and publications. She’s a featured expert in GLAMOUR Magazine in “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Playing Hardball” and a regular guest blogger for We Are The City, a hub network and content site for professional women.

During her 20-year corporate career, Kay worked in the City of London and in Paris to Director level as part of a successful, mainly male, fast-paced team of global insurance brokers. Negotiating multi-million pound, industrial property insurance contracts around the world, she learned (often by her own mistakes along the way) how to – and crucially how not to – get heard, valued and noticed, for the right reasons. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently.

Kay and her husband live close to London with their 3 rescue sighthounds. A lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Find out much more at www.kaywhite.com.

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