Positive Linking eZine: September 26, 2014

Volume 96 |26 September 2014   Register for this Ezine

Hello there %$firstname$%,

Well, how does lying on the sofa for a whole week sound to you?  Most likely you’ll think “Oh, yes please” but, interestingly, having had enforced rest this past week, it’s less appealing than you’d think.  My foot has been playing up from an old aerobics injury to my toe (yes, used to love the high impact, high energy aerobics classes) and I’ve been channeling the Mrs Doubtfire look with elastic sock and sensible shoes.  Not normally my go-to style but, as you know %$firstname$%, sometimes you have to just let go, take a breath and take really good care of yourself.  Hounds went into kennels so I didn’t have to walk everyday (which I missed like crazy) and friends rallied round to pick things up and run errands.  Again, letting go isn’t always easy, is it %$firstname$%?

What’s interesting is how much I was able to do which I wouldn’t have done had I been mobile.  With my foot elevated, the swelling has subsided and, in the meantime I’ve prepared talks I’m giving, planned out a half-day event next month, had private and group client calls and taken time to chat with people and consider new opportunities and directions.  All from the sofa and all because of my enforced pause.  (See below for more about the power of pausing.)

Slowly back in the game again this week but taking care.  One painful toe can stop you in your tracks!

Warmly to you %$firstname$%,


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PS – Oscar Wilde said it best, %$firstname$% when he said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Enough said.

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Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard

Show Up, Sparkle & Be Heard ™ LIVE Event –

I’ll be hosting my annual 3-day Live Event again in London.  The room’s booked and, rather appropriately, it’s called The Royal Suite.  Well, it is a VIP experience %$firstname$%!

Do drop your details here if you want to have all the details first.

There’s never been a better time to be a woman in business stepping up and going for what you want.  To receive the recognition, rewards and opportunities you know you deserve, you need to take a stand for yourself, your ambitions and goals and assert yourself – and you must do it in a way, which is true to yourself.  

Take some time for yourself and press ‘Pause’ on your day-to-day ‘To Do’ list by joining us, live and in London, to consider, plan and position yourself for more success at work.  Doors open in October.

As Katy Perry herself says “Baby you’re a firework, c’mon show ’em what you’re worth

Or, in other words – Show Up; Sparkle and Be Heard LIVE.

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Short, snappy soundbites on the GO!

Stay Tuned – iTuned

My weekly podcast:  Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard on iTunes.  Weekly savvy communication sound bites and strategies to help you navigate the waters at work and delivered straight to your computer, tablet, iPod – whatever device you use to access audios.  Here’s where you can Subscribe AND leave a Review.

With downloads from Taiwan, Australia, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Spain, Romania, India, Germany, New Zealand, France, USA, Canada AND the UK to name just some of the territories, it’s fair to say we’ve “gone global” here at Sparkle Central!  Please take a moment to Subscribe (so much juice in there for you) and to leave a Review. It makes all the difference AND you know how I believe in asking.  

Thank you %$firstname$% for your support. If you like what you regularly read here, you’ll hear much more on the Podcast. As Snowy says, “Straight from the horse’s mouth!”

Stars by HelenaC2276 from UK on July 8, 2014 

Brilliant snippets of advice and hints and tips on how to progress in both your professional and personal life all wrapped up in short and easy to listen to podcasts. Anyone who knows Kay or has heard her speak will recognise her clear and practical insight into how to be successful with confidence, ease and a lot of sparkle. I listen to these on my way to work and they set me up for the day. Highly recommended. 

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On My Feet, Speaking – A Lot!

As well as 3 large global insurance organisations, I’m also speaking at a Risk Management organisation too, all in the next month.  One of the many things I’ve learned about speaking is planning, preparing and, the power of pausing. 

One of the talks I’m giving from the London office of a company involves connecting with the offices in California, New York, Philadelphia and there’s what we plan – and there’s what actually happens.  Technology makes it possible and throws up many challenges.  Being able to pace myself and to pause, to check in with the audience and the organisers is strategically part of my talk.  See below about the power of making pausing part of your conversations. 

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A Well-Planned Pause, Intentional Pause

Make pausing part of your conversations

I don’t know about you but it’s easy to find yourself on a ‘gabbling to no-where.’.  That’s a phrase a client used and it’s spot on for what can happen when you don’t give yourself time to breathe and, most importantly and often forgotten, it gives the other person time to process and really hear what you’re saying. 

Pausing is a great way for you to calm yourself down, to consider what you’re actually saying and to really land your message.  The pause is key so, instead of it being something you suddenly remember to do or run out of breath/time/ideas and so have to pause – make a powerful, purposeful pause part of your conversations.

There are so many benefits to slowing down.  We can find outselves thinking as we speak when we’re not prepared or when we’re nervous.  The power of planned pause is multifunctional. For example:

  • It makes you regulate your breathing, you stop – take a breath, look around – if you have to, count to say 3 and then keep going
  • It helps others keep up and often keep awake (it’s very easy to tune you out when everything merges together) giving your speech pauses and then, interspersing them with checking in phrases like “any questions so far?” or “what thoughts do you have so far?” which also help calm you and show you that you actually care about the other person/s experience.  Oh, and just in case you didn’t think I really mean it, it buys you time.  Time to consider the route the conversation is going, time to gather your thoughts and take on feedback.  It also gives you time to slow your pace of speech down if you know you speak, as so may women do, too quickly.
  • Taking a deep breath or just a breath itself gives you so many benefits – more oxygenhelps your brain be more nimble – it helps you regulate your tone, it will help you call to mind some of the things you’ve planned to say (of course, you did plan a bit, didn’t you?) and shine. 
  • Trust me when I say I myself often take a sip of water, for example, not because I’m thirsty but because it’s a pause, it slows me down, it allows me, and it will allow you, those all important few seconds to consider what comes next. 

“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.”  Mark Twain


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Do you want to use this article in your eZine or on your website?

Please do but only if you include this complete “blurb” with it:

“Article reproduced with permission of Kay White, Savvy & Influential Communication Expert and Mentor at www.kaywhite.com.


Kay shows experienced – and often frustrated – business women (and very smart men) how to be heard and understood by accessorising their day-to-day interactions with subtle, influential phrases and words to make people sit up, listen and take action. Kay’s book, The A to Z of Being Understood is an international #1 Bestseller: http://amzn.to/kTJYdX and helps professionals make their voices heard and their conversations really count.”


To see any previous issues of this eZine or comment on an article, we’re always interested to hear from you. Please go to www.kaywhite.com (you’ll find the link to previous eZines on the Blog page, on the right)

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A is for Ann a Director, Private Health Care Company in the UK. Responsible for £100 million part of the business, when we started working together Ann felt alienated from her team and unappreciated by her senior management.

“Before working with Kay I thought communication mentoring was counselling and that I certainly did not need it. Working with Kay couldn’t be more different – inter-active, thought-provoking, confronting and good fun at the same time. I was feeling an outsider with my team as I had such a short fuse and my frustration kept bubbling up. I’m so much more open-minded and willing to learning new ways of approaching problems. It’s as if Kay’s a secret member of my team in fact and helps me plan my moves with care.

I’ve learned how my behaviour can make things happen and I modify my approach, I pause and pay attention to my language. People notice the difference in me. Kay’s style is fun and challenges you and with Kay’s thoughtful questioning and strategy, I’ve been promoted twice since we’ve been working together.”

Kay's OwlA is also for Astute, Agile, Attitude

For 3 more of these sort of positive, punchy and powerful words go to: www.wayforwardsolutions.com and find today’s words at the bottom of the page. They’re there to motivate, inspire, compel both you and those around you as you use them every day AND, see below for your Power List.

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Mrs. Moneypenny‘Mrs Moneypenny’s Careers Advice for Ambitious Women’ is a rocking read for women who know they want to show up and step up in business.  It’s just as helpful for women who run their own businesses as it is for those of you working in organisations or corporations.

Mrs Moneypenny is the alter-ego of Heather McGregor – a successful business owner, wife, mother and writer of a regular column in the weekend Financial Times.  It’s been one of my Saturday morning treats for years.  She talks straight and, as Merryn Somerset Webb, Editor-in-Chief of ‘Moneyweek’ says “Equal parts provocative, hilarious and wise – want to get ahead?  Then just do what Mrs M. tells you.”

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Savvy Style & Sparkle Soundbite


For a limited time I’m offering you the opportunity of 1 of 5 ‘Be Seen & Be Heard Now’ Action sessions with me.

If you want to explore with me what one thing you can do, straight off, to take yourself off ‘mute’ and connect and be valued by the people you want to appreciate you, just complete a few quick questions and apply.  If you’re committed to making things different, you have to do something differently.  Looking at how you’re communicating is a great place to start.

Make 2014/15 the year you decide to show up and be seen, heard and really rewarded.

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About Kay White

Kay White works with experienced business women from all around the world (and some very smart men) and shows them – with a combination of language and strategic moves – how to own, position and speak of their value so their income, opportunities and confidence naturally increases. Kay combines private, VIP mentoring with group mentoring, speaking and hosting her annual 3-day Live Event ’Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE”. She also hosts her weekly podcast radio show ‘Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard’ downloadable from her site or on iTunes.

Using insights from her own 20 year corporate career, Kay shows her clients how to plan out their next moves in their business or career. She also shows women how ‘accessorise’ and enhance their day-to-day interactions along the way making them more comfortable, compelling and engaging. They boost their income, prospects and attract more lucrative opportunities as a result as Kay shows her clients how to add true, personal sparkle. Both to themselves and to what they say.

Working with Kay, her clients discover how to be assertive, attract and keep attention and then ask for and get what they want. It’s a learnable skill to ask for what you want, to persuade, influence and get other people engaged and into action – both in writing and face-to-face. Kay’s developed step-by-step systems for her clients to learn, follow and use the steps every day and everywhere. 

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay is the Author of the international #1 bestseller ‘The A to Z of Being Understood’. She’s also a contributing Author in 4 other #1 best-selling books and annually hosts a 3-day Live Event in London for professional women:  Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE. With her straightforward and easy manner, Kay regularly features in magazines and publications. She’s a featured expert in GLAMOUR Magazine in “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Playing Hardball” and a regular guest blogger for We Are The City, a hub network and content site for professional women.

During her 20-year corporate career, Kay worked in the City of London and in Paris to Director level as part of a successful, mainly male, fast-paced team of global insurance brokers. Negotiating multi-million pound, industrial property insurance contracts around the world, she learned (often by her own mistakes along the way) how to – and crucially how not to – get heard, valued and noticed, for the right reasons. Some of her ex-colleagues have become clients and Kay still speaks French – now more enthusiastically than fluently!

Kay and her husband live close to London with their 3 rescue sighthounds. A lot of Kay’s inspiration comes from walking ‘the hounds’ as she calls them – whatever the UK weather – early in the mornings in the local countryside.

Find out much more at www.kaywhite.com

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Way Forward Solutions Ltd
3 London Wall Buildings
London EC2M 5PD

Way Forward Solutions Ltd
3 London Wall Buildings
London EC2M 5PD