Choose your words wisely.
Your words have power over you and what you think about – and the same applies to those who hear you – if they listen to you of course.
When you’re asked to be present at something, if you can make a date or if you have time to do something I wonder if you use the C word I want to recommend to you? Stay with me here.
One of my clients taught me – and herself – this valuable lesson. She was always referring to having ‘conflicts’ in her diary. The word conflicts implies a struggle, a clash, some thing to manage.
As she took a sharp breath in she said “I’m referring to picking my precious children up from School as a conflict. What’s that about Kay? It’s not a conflict, it’s a commitment.”
A commitment. Now there’s a difference.
This C word – commitment – has a whole different energy about it. Something’s fixed. It’s a promise. It’s happening and it’s important to you. What’s interesting %$firstname$% is how other people treat your commitments too. They’re less inclined to expect you to bend them or replace them.
– “Thanks for including me but I have a conflict then. Sorry.”
– “Thanks for including me. I already have a commitment at that time so when else works?” for example.
Notice the difference? The ‘conflict’ word can invite you to apologise or feel guilty that you have some thing else in your diary.
A commitment doesn’t. You may still want to or be asked to reschedule. I get that and yet, you’ll probably find less people expect it of you and you’ll feel less inclined to offer it.
It’s all about perception and the words you choose to use often say more about you than the order you put them in.
- Do you have problems or challenges?
- What about failures or maybe they’re lessons?
- Do or try to do?
As that great philosopher Yoda said “Do or do not do. There is no try.”
Now that’s a commitment.