I very rarely answer a question if I don’t want to.  Not straight out of the gate.

There’s a thought that says if you’re asked a question you should answer it but my thinking is different.

If I’m asked a question and I want to answer it, I will.  If I don’t, I won’t.  Or at least, not straight away.

So often we allow ourselves to be put on the spot by a clumsy question or by someone who’s not really interested in the answer OR who doesn’t have our best interest at heart. 

“What do you think about ABC?”

“How are you getting on with XYZ?”

“Can you come to ABC next week?”

“Why haven’t you decided what to do yet?”

etc etc.

I slow things down.  Slow. Things. Down.

Instead of shooting from the lip and responding, I take a beat and buy a little time.

Why?

• Well, often I will respond more clearly.  More honestly,
• Often I give a more considered response which helps the other person.
• And definitely, I’m less likely to say something I’ll either regret or I don’t mean.

When I was first taking the myriad of coaching courses I did, it was one of the fundamentals we were taught.  

Something along the lines of “Questions are your friend and only answer when you know what you want to say.”

So, with the above questions being fired at me…

“What do you think about ABC?” >> I‘m not sure exactly what I think yet.  If pushed I’d say X but there’s something else I want to consider first.

“How are you getting on with XYZ? “>> it’s going OK and I’ve got more to figure out before I can really tell you.  How about you, how are you getting on with your XYZ?

“Can you come to ABC next week?” >> thanks for asking.  Let me give you my answer in the morning so I’m 100% sure.

“Why haven’t you decided what to do yet?” >> there’s a lot to consider and I like to be sure rather than mess you around.

Now you could say that I’m being irritating by swerving a direct response.

Depending on the context I’d think “So what“.  I won’t be pushed into answering straight off.

Buying yourself a little time to think pays you back in this world where everyone expects everything NOW.  At once. I know it’s paid me back in my business and in my personal life being less quick to respond.

Take a beat.  Breathe.  Don’t respond to an email without a little breather.  Look at a text/SMS message and, again, give yourself a moment. 

It’s where your instinct and intuition live, in those ‘moments’ you give yourself…

Or in someone else’s words…

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And in other news…

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Enjoying ourselves outside before having a lot of work done on our patio.  Not so relaxing now! 😱