Do you do this too?

It was pouring with rain, the trains were all up the creek and it was a Saturday and I wanted to stay at home.

But.  A plan was in place to gather with 6 school friends in London for lunch.  We’ve known each other for many decades now having met at school in South London when we were 11 years old!

As I’m sure you do too when faced with something you’d like to be cancelled, I harrumphed a bit about going to London on a Saturday, having to drive over an hour to the nearest station which was working and then ‘cramming’ myself on to a crowded train.

The alternative was a ‘two bus replacement service’.  Err.  No.

It’s often the case isn’t it, that you have the best of times when you’re resisting and being hesitant about going along to something.

Instead of pulling down the Portcullis and pulling up the drawbridge, I went along, had an easy journey and had SO much fun with ‘the ladies’ as I call them!

portcullis - Wiktionary, the free dictionary

Here’s the thing which I believe is relevant to so many situations.

The story you tell yourself about what something’s going to be like.

I was saying unhelpful things to myself (and I should know better than that)

  • “Oh it’s such a long way and my precious Saturday will be mostly on a train” <<true but I read my book and the time disappeared
  • “Will I be missed if I don’t go?” << err yes, I would have been and more importantly, I would have missed so much fun, tears and laughter
  • Is it worth all the time and energy when there’s so much going on here at home << yup, it was SO worth the time and energy and I approached the chores here at home the next day with more gusto after having such a fun day out

So, my invitation and encouragement to you in the this moment is this.

When you’re faced with something you can feel resistance to and you’d like to bow out – work and home related – ask yourself these quick questions and then, off you go!

  • What is my resistance really about?
  • What would I tell someone I like and trust to do?
  • How will I feel if I wasn’t invited or included again?
  • Why is it so easy to do this rather than hard?

It’s worth having this quiet word with yourself to check in and make sure you make a decision based on clarity.

Like me, you will more than probably surprise yourself!

After 5 hours together, I hopped in a cab, then onto the train, then into the car (driven by my husband after Champagne…or ‘Lady Petrol’ as he calls it) and then likely bored Snowy with some (not all) of the details!  What a fun time I’d have missed…

A final word on the matter…


To stay on the map you've got to keep showing up. - Peter Gallagher

 And in other news…

Here we are and so many people have said how they wish they were still in touch with their schoolfriends.  I shall no longer take it for granted!

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