Ask Yourself This Next Time…

What do you and I have in common with Oprah, Madonna, Warren Buffett, Michelle Obama and any other successful person you care to mention?  We all have the same 24 hours in any one day and we never know how many of those we all have, long-term.

What I’ve learned separates us from feeling run ragged, unstructured and like we’re missing catches is this.  

What you say YES to and what you say NO to.  “Yes that’s obvious Kay” I can hear you say and yet it is the truth of so much that we make happen in our lives.

For every YES we say, we automatically say NO to something else.

Working with 2 career women this week who felt frustrated that “there aren’t more hours in the day” or “I wish I had another 4 hours each day to get things done” I said the same to them too.  

Whatever you say yes to, you must know what you’re saying no to..”

For example:

  • Yes to working late / No to eating a meal with your family
  • Yes to taking on another project / No to achieving your own KPIs
  • Yes to working on the weekends / No to hanging out with friends on Zoom or reading the book that’s on your list…and so it goes on.

I think it’s levelling and refreshing to consider that we all have the same 24 hours in any one day.

What you choose to let in or shut out is what differentiates us.  

Once I thought about the auto-No that comes from too many Yes moments, I stopped overloading myself.  Could this help you too ?

Here are a couple of handy phrases to have in mind:

  • Thanks for asking me and I’m committed that day, when’s a good time next week (defer)
  • Thanks, sounds interesting, who else can help you with that? (No)
  • Thanks, let me think about that and get back to you.  yes/no, decide without being pushed.
  • Yes, I can hear that’s important, on this occasion, I’ll decline but do ask me another time. (Not now.  No)

Along with 5 other Career Coaches I was asked by Fast Company magazine “What’s the best career advice you’ve ever received?” Here’s my – and their – responses.  

Oh, and are you on Clubhouse yet?  The new social media platform which is taking off BIG time.  If you join, you can find me as @kayjwhite and I’m hosting a Club Room event with a colleague of mine from the US on 22nd February at 3pm EST and 8pm UK. 

Recovering Perfectionists!

10 Ways To Get Out (and Stay Out) Of Your Own Way At Work

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