Corporate Guff

We do expect our corporate members to keep their management processes under review throughout 2024 because a consistent operational model grounded in clear processes and associated measures provides a strong baseline to aid the management of volatility within portfolios from external challenges such as persistently high inflation.” 😵‍💫

Oh my goodness me!  What a load of corporate guff strung together in a sentence designed to confuse, bore and alienate all in one go.

I doubt if that was the intention of the writer who must have taken quite a time to come up with such an overblown sentence and probably thought they were being quite clever.

Really?!  I don’t think so, do you? 

The irony being their corporate members invest to be part of the organisation AND the directive is actually helpful.  

If you can be bothered to try to understand it…

Keep a close watch on your numbers relating to inflation as this could affect your whole business model.” << now that’s better.  Understandable, helpful.

When a client sent me the above ‘corporate guff’ version we firstly both laughed.  Then, as ever, you consider how dangerous this kind of speak truly is.  

We translated it to the snappy and helpful phrase above.

We either don’t bother to try to understand, roll our eyes and we hit delete and – on some level – we resent the author for writing to us in this way. 🙄

Would you speak to your team in this way?  

What about your partner as you’re cooking supper or about to hop in to bed?

I doubt it.

There’s a reason Pillow Talk is a good gauge to work out how to send out corporate messages which connect rather than alienate.  The principle being to ask yourself “how would I tell my partner or best friend about this?” ie in everyday, clear language.

Pillow Talk encourages

  • You to partner with your reader.  
  • You consider what they need to know and how they actually speak or think
  • When you’re crossing cultures (and who isn’t these days) the clearer and more direct you communicate the more time you save
  • You avoid coming across as a boring corporate clone.

I totally understand how certain phrases or names need to be used at times.

But – you can always add that snappy phrase “or in other words” to it and put the Pillow Talk version.

A final word on the matter…



 And in other news…

Snowy and I are here in Barbados again for the first time in 3 years.  Covid, a house move and a puppyhound made it inaccessible for us of late but it’s good to be here again.  We’ve been coming here for 16 years on the trot so we’ve missed it…

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