We as women have a tendency to Go Overboard!  

It’s something I’ve noticed in myself and clearly I see and hear it in my clients, colleagues and friends.

Over.

• Over-deliver
• Over-stay
• Over-share
• Over-prepare
• Over-care
• Over-think
• etc…I could go on

Clearly I don’t mean we should be rash and uncaring and unthinking.  Of course not.

What I do mean though is we can be more aware of how much is enough?

What are we trying to prove or trying to avoid?

Thinking about the above for a moment – are you in here anywhere?  I know I was:

• Over-deliver – always going the extra mile.  Admirable but often unnecessary.
• Over-stay – something’s not right.  You know it but still you stay and hope.
• Over-share – give too much detail.  Talk too long.  Be a little too open.
• Over-prepare – keep tweaking, fretting, adding, taking away, what-if-ing
• Over-care – be too bothered about what others think and less about what you do
• Over-think – fret, hold on to something that’s happened, think and wait too long

It can exhaust you.  Wear you down.  Stop you in your tracks.  Keep you awake at night.

So.  Like anything.  Step one is to be aware of yourself.  Where you do this and if and when you do.

I always encourage clients to ask themselves these 2 questions:

1. “What am I so afraid of?” as I believe this over-boarding comes from fear.  Fear of being found out, left out, looking silly, being embarrassed.
2. “What would I recommend someone I care about do instead?” We do know when we’re going down this kind of rabbit hole.  It’s easy to be kind on behalf of others and not so easy to advocate in this way for ourselves.  And we’re worth it.

In other news…

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My bestie from schooldays, Ellen and I came to the seaside for the weekend.  We left our husbands and our hounds at home for the day/night and brought Champagne and sunshine with us instead.  We’ve known each other since we were 11 years old and have so much shared history, tears and laughter.  Special to do this and to make the commitment to keep doing this.  And we realise how lucky we are.