Reality, or is it?

When I argue with reality I lose, but only 100% of the time…” 

This quote from Byron Katie the author, speaker and healer spoke to me when I first heard it on so many levels.

The point she was making is we can waste so much time and effort and get so bent out of shape with “Why me?” “Why did this have to happen?” “I can’t believe this is going on it so unfair” etc etc.

I believe she was encouraging us (herself first when she told the story about how broken she was being both homeless and an alcoholic at a point in her life) to acknowledge the reality of it AND then do something about it.  

Not argue with it.

This year is the 20th anniversary of my dear Mum dying.  It’s also amazingly, the 1st anniversary of Queen Elizabeth II dying.

At just 71, our Mum was relatively young.  She just didn’t wake up one morning.

20 years on my sister and I still talk about her, quote her and laugh (and tear up) about her.

When friends talk about their parents who are either annoying or very fragile (or both) I never say anything but I do think to myself  “Whoa, you’ve had your parents around for all those Christmases and Birthdays for 20 years more than I did” and then, the quote kicks in.

When I argue with reality I lose, but only 100% of the time…” 

Instead of feeling hard-done-by or sad, I try to kick in to gratitude.

Grateful for the fun we had, the time we did have, the fact that we loved our Mum (not everyone does…) and that stops the spiral of feeling resentful or sad.  Mum and I on our my wedding day 22 years ago…wasn’t I lucky to have her there.

I wonder what you think about this quote?  

I have many friends, clients, family members who have some real emotional challenges going on and tough decisions on the horizon.

Byron Katie’s words can annoy you.  But in a positive way.  

I believe they’re meant to kind of wake us up and are far more thought-provoking than that somewhat annoying (and over-used) phrase “It is what it is…”.

You can find out more about Byron Katie’s work at and her teaching about   the ‘Four Questions‘ have changed my life a number of times.

A final word on the matter…


“It’s not your job to like me.  It’s mine. ”        ~ Byron Katie

And in other news…


We had a quiet weekend at the seaside last week.  Our hounds love hanging out on the window seat of our place…and so do I!

No one around in the morning but the sunrise…

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