As I listened to my client, let’s call her Melissa, I thought to myself “Oh my, how tough it must be to operate like this, no wonder you’re feeling stuck.”
Melissa was explaining to me how she was so fearful of the word “No” that she just didn’t put herself forward for things in case she encountered a “No”.
It’s such a self-limiting trait to have that fear of being told No – an interview, a promotion, a project, an opportunity, more money, less workload, more support – all these reasonable and day-to-day requests get stuck in the throat if you’re fearful of being told No or Not Now.
You can imagine, Melissa and I are unpicking this unhelpful fear and working out what’s behind it and, clearly, what to think and do instead…
Do you have that sense of avoiding asking in case you’re told No ?
If you do, why not take a closer look at:
- No might not mean forever, just not now. Response: OK, when then is it a good time?
- No might mean there’s something even better, more interesting ahead. Mindset: Who knows what else is on the way, I don’t know – yet.
- No might relate to unseen decisions or circumstances you don’t know about – yet. Action: Watch closely, ask good questions “What would you do if you were me?” or “How do I best move forward at this time based on this?”
When we do everything we can to avoid rejection we do something farmore damaging than handling the actual No.
We cut ourselves off from challenges, from growth, from connection and opportunities. We also get so tangled up with what everyone else is thinking about following our ‘No’ and we forget, they’re not thinking about us at all . Too much to think about for themselves.
Melissa is on her way to getting into the driving seat of her career bus again already. I’m excited to be on board with her as she does and let’s be honest – when you look at anyone you admire, celebrity, famous or the person you report to – everyone’s always dealing with some form of ‘No’.
What separates them and their success and their way of dealing with it is what they do next… Plan, A, B, C, D etc.
. >>> Save The Date! Friday 17th September <<<
A One-Day Live Gathering, on line, hosted by me and including many special guests.
ALL focussed on you and IF or how you’re taking care of YOURSELF both at WORK AND AT HOME.. More details soon…
Personal Practices; Potions & Personal Power Moves << all part of our discussions together on Friday 17th September..
Douglas Puppyhound Developments
Douglas broke out of his crate whilst I was on a client call and took it easy on the sofa. No sense of embarrassment when I came into the kitchen. Heyho…
Hanging out with his housemate Jeffrey Hound, Douglas is now so much bigger and stronger than Jeffrey…but not quicker!