Treating Others

There’s a phrase which is so helpful when you’re planning an event, a gathering, a dinner – something that you’re hosting or which you’re ‘in charge’ of.

“Treat others as you would be treated yourself” is the phrase I’m referring to and it helps you think about the experience you’re creating or curating…

I’m about to host a live 2-day Retreat at a boutique hotel in the countryside.

Since 2013 I’ve hosted live client retreats and I’ve learned a thing or 10 about how to do this in a way which makes my clients feel nurtured, special and relaxed.

This will be Retreat number 20. 

Oh my goodness…no wonder I kick in to Retreat Planning Mode so naturally!

It’s very easy to just throw together a plan and have an element of “whatever” about it.  After all, your participants know what they’re there for and want/need to be there so it should be fairly  straightforward right?


I believe people feel and respond to the care, attention, thought, commitment you put into the planning.

In fact I know they do. 

It’s something I’ve learned about myself over these 20 private Retreats (oh and 10 bigger Live Events) and I ask myself these kind of questions before planning anything…

  • How would I like this experience to be?  
  • What would I want to have happen? 
  • How will I prepare my guests in advance so they’re comfortable and prepared?
  • What do I want them to leave feeling like?
  • What do I want to avoid?
  • Who can support me and how can I prepare them to best support me?
  • What do I want to have around me so I can be my best?
  • And so it goes on…

Here’s the thing.  You might look at this and think “Oh for goodness sake, it’s just a meeting/event/dinner party/etc” and yes, on some level you’re right.

But.  It’s more than that.

It’s a reflection of you, your care, your attention, your intention and that truly reflects back on you.

I’ve been told things like “Kay, I love being at your events, it’s just such a lovely space you create” and that’s why I’m sitting here, the week before the 20th Retreat, planning and plotting my way there.

My encouragement to you from writing this is to choose to walk your way through the event you’re planning.

From before, in the planning and prep, from the start of it, the during and then the finish. 

Including any dress code or advance guidance (eg The RAC where our last Retreat was hosted doesn’t allow denim or bare midriffs!  Happily we all were able to comply...)

A book I’ve learned a lot from which I want to recommend to you is called The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker and I flick through this every time I’m in preparation mode…

A final word on the matter…


“Gatherings crackle and flourish when real thought goes into them, when (often invisible) structure is baked into them, and when a host has the curiosity, willingness, and generosity of spirit to try.” 
                       ― Priya Parker, The Art of Gathering 

And in other news…


Snowy, Jeffrey & Thelma enjoyed a night of R&R watching something on Snowy’s iPad!  She’s getting into the Lurcher groove and we’ve had her in our home now for 4 weeks.  She’s doubled in size and in personality!

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